Breath of Life
by Reign77
Summary: Bella Swan is angry; with life, with her parents, with the world in general. Leaving Phoenix to spend some time with her father, she just wants closure so she can move on with her life. But she didn't count on finding a supernatural world. Will it make a difference? A B/P non-imprint story. Rated MA for sex, language, and underage drinking. Over 18 only! OOC Bella. Give it a shot.
1. Prologue

_A/N: This is my first story, so be kind._

_This story is for 18 and over only! So, kiddies go away._

_This Bella is OOC, and she does have a bit of a potty mouth._

_Many thanks to Mist for pre-reading._

_Oh yeah, SM owns everything!_

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**~B of L~**

**PROLOGUE**

_"I cannot take this anymore_

_I'm saying everything I've said before"_

One Step Closer - Linkin Park

_**BPOV**_

"You don't have to leave."

I sighed in frustration as I stuffed another pair of jeans in my suitcase. I wasn't in the mood for this shit. For the last month, the same five words had left my mother's mouth a thousand times. I might be inclined to think her sincere if I didn't see the second of panic in her eyes with the thought I might actually stay.

Every single time.

She didn't want me here, and she didn't want me to leave. I couldn't win for losing.

No, I had to escape. While I could.

Not bothering to look at her, I shook my head. "Mom, we have been over this. I want to spend time with Charlie." I looked up from my task to see my mother sitting at the end of my bed, nodding her head while she released a shaky breath. I rolled my eyes. Good thing she wasn't an actress or I would have starved to death for sure.

"When is your flight?"

How many times have I told her that? Ten, Twenty. "1pm. I need the car in the morning; I'm shipping several boxes to Washington," I said as I lifted another armload from the closet to my bed.

"Oh, I can do that for you. Why don't you get some rest before you travel?" When have I voluntarily slept in? That was her M.O., not mine. I didn't have time to sleep. Anyway, I couldn't trust her with the chore. Not if I wanted to see my possessions ever again. She can't remember fucking anything, especially if I didn't put a Post-It on her forehead first.

"No, I can." She nodded again, not even trying to fight me on it. The words leaving her mouth obviously as far as the intention had went. She got up and made her way to the door.

She hesitated for a second, mulling over her next words. "Did you get all your records from the school and doctor to take with you?"

I bit my tongue to keep a hateful comment from spewing out. God forbid I leave any trace of the last several years here. "Yes," I hissed after rolling some socks and slamming them in my carryon.

"Okay, honey. Don't stay up too late. Goodnight."

"Night," I said in relief with her departure. I should probably say something more, get everything off my chest. The resentment, the hurt. But me and my mother were on opposite sides of the Grand Canyon, and all the things left unsaid filled up the chasm between us. We couldn't bridge it now, silence made for poor foundations and she was out of time. And I learned a long time ago, neither of us could fly.

With a calming breath, I walked to my window. My spirit was as scorched as the earth outside, and I needed real change before I moved on after school.

Wild horses couldn't keep me in Phoenix and although I was less than excited about soggy Forks, I was looking forward to my last move. The last first day of school. Oh I'm sure the first couple of days will be as awkward and painful as others, but it will be manageable. No one will know me, and I didn't have any intention of knowing them. It was easier that way, and I so deserved easy.

With a sense of finality, I sealed the last box with packing tape and placed the box outside my door. I would have my new stepfather, Phil, put in the car tomorrow. I turned around and looked at the bare room. A stranger entering would never knew anyone had lived here for four years. Just like every other room I had left before. I was like a wisp of cloud blowing from place to place.

But unlike all those other moves, I felt a warm sense of ... something. It wasn't hope. I had giving up on that pipe dream long ago. Anticipation, maybe. This would be good for me. Perhaps I could find that thing I've heard about, but had never had.

Normalcy.

I scoffed as I laid my head on the pillow. _Not fucking likely._

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_A/N - Thanks for reading! Don't judge the story based only on this chapter. I promise it is better than the opening._


	2. Chapter 1 Loyalty

A/N - I own nothing! Many thanks to Mist for pre-reading.

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_**~ B of L~**_

"Stick to your guns,

If you believe in something, no matter what,

Cause it's better to be hated for who you are,

Than be loved for who you're not."

- _Help Somebody_ by Van Zant -

**Chapter 1: Loyalty**

Billy Black was exhausted.

He hadn't slept well for weeks.

Every time he closed his eyes he saw the brown eyes of his best friend's daughter, wide with fear and wet from tears. He could never see what it was she was looking at, even though in his heart he knew. She was in the forest, backing away from something with disbelieving eyes until her back hit a tree. There was no sound, save for her whimpers and then eventually a blood curdling scream. Before the scream died from her lips, he would bolt upright in bed - heart galloping in his chest, tears running down his cheeks.

He had poor Jake scared to death. Several nights he was woken before Bella could begin screaming. Jake would be looking at him, fear and disbelief shining in his eyes. Billy would try to downplay it, mumbling about indigestion or something or other. His son would just shake his head, doubt and worry marring his youthful face. The boy took on so much after his mother passed and sisters left. A child of sixteen should not have to deal with an invalid father or the safety of his tribe. But he did it with a grace and strength that reminded Billy painfully of his late wife, Sarah. And now, Jake was being woke up in middle of night to comfort a helpless old man when he rarely got five hours of sleep a night.

And even being stuck in the same wheelchair for damn near eight years, Billy had never, in all his life, felt so powerless. Caught between the loyalty of a friend and his tribe.

Harry didn't want to get involved. He never wanted to make waves, a product of twenty years being whipped into submission by Sue no doubt. And Billy couldn't understand his indifference. Harry had kids too and Charlie had been his friend almost as long as him. Hell, Billy introduced them!

Quil would have cared. Quil and Charlie were kin, and shared a closeness that had often made him jealous. Quil was so excited when Joy got pregnant. 'Maybe I will get my own little Bells,' he had told his friends one day fishing. Of course, he had been proud as a peacock when Quil V came wailing into the world, but when Quil mentioned that Joy and him were trying again there was no questions that he had his heart set on a little girl. Sadly, he died not too long after.

The day after Charlie had told him Bella was moving back, Billy went to ask advice of Old Quil. Old Quil was sympathetic to his dilemma, but said he was bound to protect the tribe's secrets. And even more, the treaty prohibited them telling anyone about the Cullens' true nature.

He had cursed his grandfather Ephriam several times over these past weeks. Had it not been for that goddamn treaty with their neighboring enemies, he wouldn't be in this predicament. The pack would have run their sparkly asses off on sight. But now they had to endure the so called 'peace loving' coven for who knows how long, all at the expense of their children's childhoods and dreams.

Charlie knew the stories though. Billy couldn't remember any bonfire of his youth that did not have his friend there. Hell, Quil, Harry, Charlie and him had played "Wolves and Cold Ones' more times than he could count after the stories were told and the adults moved onto their own discussions. And who played the Cold Ones? The pale face of course.

Why couldn't he put the pieces together now? Since the Cullens moved back, Charlie had not caught on to a single innuendo that Billy had let slip. He tried to be subtle, lest he provoke the wrath of Old Quil and the remaining Elders. But flat out refusing to go to Forks General for treatment was a pretty big indicator that Billy was serious as a heart attack about this. Charlie was a cop, wasn't he supposed to be able to read between the lines?

And in the last month, any derogatory comment aimed at the leeches was met with an angry Charlie. Billy shook his head, he didn't understand it.

He was nervous to see him again. There was now an air of tension between them that had not been there before.

At the sound of a car door, he went to the window to find Charlie being dropped off by a deputy. He was picking up the old Chevy truck that Billy was selling him. Jake had been overjoyed of the possibility of not being sentenced to driving the 'dinosaur' as he called it for his summer vacation. It wasn't much, but it was a tank and she would be safe if, Spirits forbid, she got into an accident.

Billy opened the door and made his way to the kitchen to retrieve a beer for his old friend. "Come in out of the rain you fool," he said as Charlie opened the screen door.

"How you doing, Billy?"

"Good, good." He handed his friend the Rainer, as he sat at the table.

"Here you go. I really appreciate your help finding me something for Bells," Charlie said as he handed Billy money.

"No worries, Jake is on cloud nine to get rid of the beast," Billy chuckled as he put the cash in his pocket. They bullshitted for several minutes afterward, reminiscing about other vehicles they had owned over the years.

When Charlie mentioned his excitement for Bella coming back, Billy knew he had to say something. "Listen Charlie. About Bella, why don't you let her come to school on the reservation? She'll know a few people between Jake and his friends. It will be easier on her, being her last year and all."

He looked towards the window, his eyes closed in contemplation. Whether it was his offer or something else, Billy wasn't sure. Charlie always acted funny when it came to her. They didn't have a good relationship, years being apart because of the bitch, Renee.

Turning to look at his friend with glistening eyes, Charlie replied, "No, I already got her enrolled in Forks. Be better if she was closer to home. It doesn't seem possible, her walking the same halls as me. God, has it really been 20 years."

"Yep, your a fossil."

"Watch your mouth, or I'll arrest your sorry ass for disrespecting an officer."

"Sure, sure," Billy chuckled. Never in his life had he met a man quite so touchy about his age as the Chief of Police.

The smile slid off his face as he prepared for the coming storm he could feel brewing. "Seriously Chief, I think it would be a good idea if she was in school here."

"No! What is your problem, Billy? And you better not fucking be referring to the Cullens!" Charlie erupted.

"Charlie, there are things you don't know about them. I am your oldest friend, and I only have your best interests at heart."

"Don't you fucking insult my intelligence _Chief_ Black! The Cullens have not done a goddamn thing. Carlisle Cullen is a gifted doctor and our community is damn lucky to have him here. And I don't have any problems with that brood of his, which is a hell of a lot more I can say for the kids in Forks or your reservation. I never thought you capable of such unfounded prejudice."

With that, Charlie smashed in his clenching fists the now empty can and slammed it on the table. Rising from his seat, he glared at the tribal chief. "My daughter will be going to Forks High, period. Whenever you get your head out of your ass, give me a call."

"Charlie, you're making a mistake."

"I've made many," Charlie growled. "But I'm trying to fix what I can now. Leave it alone Black. You don't know all of the situation. We've all got our crosses to bear. You keep your secrets and I'll keep mine. Tell Jake thanks for the work on the truck." With that, he turned on his heel and punched the screen door out of his way as he stomped to his recent purchase.

Billy went to close the front door behind him, and wheeled himself to the living room, his heart heavier now than it had been all month. He couldn't sit on the sidelines while Bella could be in danger. Damned if he don't, damned if he did.

_Fuck it_, he thought as he opened another beer. He would talk to Jake.

He would rather ask forgiveness from the Council, than Charlie.

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A/N - Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 2 The Calm Before The Storm

A/N: I own nothing! Beta'd by the wonderful August Shaffer. Pre-read by feebes86 and Mist. Many thanks, ladies! Thanks to all for the reviews, favs and follows. They are like candy!

Chapter 2 - The Calm Before The Storm

_'I'm looking to the sky to save me_

_Looking for a sign of life_

_Looking for something to help me burn out bright_

_I'm looking for a complication_

_Looking cause I'm tired of trying_

_Make my way back home when I learn to fly (high)'_

Learn to Fly - Foo Fighters

**BPOV**

I leaned forward in my seat to grab my backpack. Searching for what seemed a far too significant portion of my short life, I smiled, victorious, as my hand emerged with my salvation. My Advil.

The plane had just leveled off, and I was sitting, semi-uncomfortably, at thirty-thousand feet above the earth, Phoenix was now a bad memory. Semi-uncomfortable only in that I had been blessed by airplane Gods with a window seat. So instead of being sandwiched between Seinfield's Newman and a NBA hopeful, I was plastered against the hull of the plane, watching in the reflections of the window as beside me Bob, aka Newman, stared lasciviously at me. He had chatted me up relentlessly during the taxiing before takeoff until I couldn't take anymore and feigned flight nerves and put my buds in and cranked some metal. I ignored when he ogled my chest, because hey I had a good one, but when his socked foot started grazing my calf I began planning his long, tortuous death. I gave him a death glare and he wisely backed off, but stupidly forgetting the enraged lioness beside him. He could build up my ire if he liked, I needed to sharpen my claws anyway before I landed.

But nonetheless I was in an uncharacteristically good mood, even with Sir-Sweats-A-Lot and the toddler wailing in the seat in front of me. After throwing three pills in my mouth and washing it down with some water, I started to plan.

I had about two and half months before school started. The idea of being trapped in a house, even if Renee-free, for that long was too much. No, I would have to get a job. Maybe even a hobby, or at least new venues to perform current hobbies.

I'm sure Charlie, my father, wouldn't like the idea of that. But, I needed wheels, and wheels needed gas, and getting gas needed money. And I loathed the idea of taking a cent from him. Thus, necessitating the job.

I was a great cook but doubted there were many cooking jobs around Forks, and I couldn't waitress as I wouldn't make a damn dime when I broke all the dishes. I sighed, my fate would land upon a job in retail more than likely. And it wasn't the work that annoyed me, it was the people. One person, alone, could be okay, as long as they were not overly obnoxious or ignorant. However, when more than one person congregated together, their IQ points and my patience started disappearing quicker than an ice cube in the Phoenix sun. It should be okay as long as I could avoid clothing stores as I knew nothing about fashion and didn't have the inclination to pretend I did to earn some money. Perhaps, the library or a book store was hiring and ...

"Would you like a drink?" the stewardess asked, interrupting my train of thought. I waited patiently as she retrieved my answered choice, but when she handed the drink to me, my moment for revenge had come. A fortuitous moment of turbulence happened allowing me to intentionally, but believably, fumble with my drink and then throwing my elbow back and up in an effort to prevent spilling it, but only succeeding in hitting the asshole square, and hard, in the nose. And as my prevention efforts were only for show, the drink landed unceremoniously in the Creeper's lap. I did a mental fist pump. I kick ass!

He bolted up as far upright as the next row's seat and his beer gut would allow and started cursing lowly under his breath after a few louder slip-ups earned him the indignant glares of several neighboring parents.

"Oh, I'm such a klutz," although my words and tone were apologetic, my eyes were anything but. Attempting to taunt the creepy fuck to go too far and say something that would really provoke my wrath.

My eyes were pulled away from him by the clearing of a throat.

The attendant's eyes danced in mirth, her knowing damn well the spill was no accident. After giving Bob a few more napkins to clean himself with, she handed me a cup of ice and a full, chilled can of Dr. Pepper instead of the teeny, tiny cup that was usually given. I mouthed a thank you to her and she nodded her head in acknowledgment, moving down the aisle to water the remaining herd. Bob chose to ignore me like the plague after that, his eyes still shining with unshed tears from my elbow's introduction to his nose.

I had definitely inherited my temper from Charlie's side of the family, particularly my grandmother Helen. Gran was a real piece of work who gave as good as she got, often called Hellion by her friends. She didn't take any shit from anyone, but she would do anything for her family and friends.

One of my favorite memories of her was actually her last Christmas and we were having a big dinner at her house. Our cousins the Atearas and Blacks were there. Billy Black had lost his wife, Old Quil Ateara's daughter, only a few months prior and Gran couldn't bear them not having a decent meal, as Billy's daughters couldn't boil water and Billy was only marginally better in the kitchen than Charlie. Anyway, I was helping Gran get things ready, as I had pretty much done since I had gotten off the plane. I walked into the pantry for something and when I returned she was ripping into Old Quil something fierce. He had apparently snuck in and cut into one of her pumpkin pies because, as he said, the veggie tray she had laid out for the rest in the living room 'just wasn't cutting it'. Ignoring her ranting completely, he made to get another slice, but was rewarded with a wallop to the top of the head with the wooden spoon she was holding. He tried again so she picked up a large chopping knife and started wielding it like Excalibur, threatening to cut his braids off if he didn't get the hell out of her damn kitchen. She chased him out of the room, turned around, and winked at me as she passed to continue on as if there was no interruption.

Gran and Old Quil always bickered and teased but you could tell they thought the world of each other. Gran had been best friend's with Molly Swan, Quil's wife, who later introduced her to Papa Swan, Molly's first cousin. The four were as thick as thieves and when Gran and Old Quil lost their spouses only a few months apart, they found comfort in each other and their families.

Looking out the window again, I rubbed my chest. I missed her so much it hurt. It had been five years, and even now the grief felt raw.

Leaning back, enjoying my fizzy prize, I lifted my eyes to meet a pair of wide, grey eyes staring back at me. The little boy giggled when I winked at him, his laughing eyes still moist from his recent crying. He looked to be not quite two years old, with adorably round cheeks and brown, curling locks. He appeared to have been pulled from his tantrum from my neighbor's one, and in the interest of my headache, and the collective sanity of the plane, I decided try to keep the little monster entertained. I made faces at the boy and played peek-a-boo, silently laughing as his peals of delight would startle the pervert beside me and several others awake. After giving my chocolate brownie, with extreme willpower, to the little tyke in an effort to maintain tranquility when he demanded another from his ragged looking mother, I continued to try to figure out what I was going to do when I got to Forks.

An hour later, we were finally making our descent into Seattle. Looking out the window was an exercise in futility, as I couldn't see jack shit except endless grey clouds and water beads sliding down the window. One thing I was going to have to get used to was the rain. I didn't see this being an issue, kind of fitting in its own way really.

Later, I remained seated as the plane emptied, as I had plenty of time to kill. Dreading the ride home with Charlie with the intensity of thousands suns, I had decided to fly into Port Angeles instead of him picking me up at Sea-Tac. Finding the additional time in layover and transfer time to Boeing Field to be the lesser of two evils compared to being trapped an extra two hours with my estranged father in an enclosed space. My remaining journey was uneventful and as I exited the plane in Port A, I realized just how tired I was and how much I was not up for the inevitable battle to come.

After collecting my baggage, I dragged myself to where I could see my father waiting. Fuck my life.

_~ B of L ~_

**Meanwhile, back in La Push:**

Jacob Black shook out the water than remained in his hair after his phase from wolf to human. After pulling on his cutoffs, he moved from the shadow of the tree line toward his home. He frowned as he got closer, he couldn't hear any sounds from the little red house save for his father's heartbeat. Something must have been wrong. The Mariners were playing the Athletics, and his dad never missed an opportunity to cheer against the Athletics. Hell, he'd cheer for the Yankee's before he would the A's. Picking up his pace, he entered the house to find his father sitting thoughtfully in the living room, several empty cans of beer in front of him.

"What's wrong?"

"Sit down son. We need to discuss some things." Jake's eyebrow lifted in question but he obeyed, although he did grab a Dr. Pepper from the fridge first. After he was comfortably sitting on the couch across from his father, his dad continued.

"Charlie was here earlier to pick up the truck. He wanted me to thank you for your help," his father said, looking at the can of beer in his hand. Jake did a mental hand pump. Finally, he could concentrate on the Rabbit. He couldn't wait to tell Quil and Embry, his best friends.

"Okaayyyy," Jake drawled. None of what his father was saying was explaining the worried expression on his face. His father sighed and looked up, his sad eyes boring in to Jacob's, trying to convey the weight on his tired mind.

"We had an argument. About Bella. I tried to get him to send her to school here, but he ... didn't appreciate my concern."

"What did he say?" Jake asked in reply. Figured he'd have to run patrols when drama erupted at home. He always missed the good stuff.

"He ranted on about the wonders that are the Cullen's and basically called me a prejudice old fool."

Jake's mouth dropped open. "He what!" he exclaimed as he stood up abruptly, slight tremors shimmering across his skin. He clamped his mouth shut and fisted his hands closed, not wanting to be grounded a month for phasing in the house again. _Those fucking leeches_, he thought. _They had the entire town fooled, but now they had the Chief of Police turning to the dark side as well._

"I don't know what is going on Jake, but I can feel it. I've been having nightmares ..." Billy paused as he saw his son cringe and look away. "They are about Bella. She's upset and screaming. I never see what is after her but ... I always feel cold after I wake up." Jake didn't need his father to finish the thought. He knew all about the things that go bump in the night. Hell, he was one of them.

His dad went on, "I spoke with Old Quil after I found out she was coming back but he said we couldn't tell them anything. We have to keep the secret except for those destined to be in the know." He chuckled, "I was mad at the old coot for ignoring my concerns but I think he was just waiting. You see, your Grandmother Molly was a Swan. Her blood runs in the tribe, and now, it runs in the Spirit Wolves with you and Young Quil phasing. There is a possibility that one of the other wolves could imprint on Bella."

Jake did not like imprinting. The idea of your choices being taken away irked him to no end. He prayed to the Spirits that he would be immune, as he wanted no part in it. Look at the the drama it caused with Sam, Emily, and Leah. Yeah, he'd definitely pass. But he could see that Bella being imprinted on would solve a lot of his dad's concerns. How would she take being bound to Collin, Brady, Seth, Embry or *shudder* Paul? "And if they don't?" he asked his father.

"Well, we can still look out for her. We are bound to protect humans - those who know and those that don't. And we've got all summer before school starts to make her comfortable here. Although there is a chance she could run into them during the next couple months, it's small." Jake nodded at his father's words. The Cullens kept a low profile during the summer, what with the sunshine and heavy hiker traffic in the forest. He didn't know what they did, nor did he give a flying fuck, but it was a rare event to see anyone but the doctor during that time.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked his father.

"Keep watch. Be her friend and introduce her to the others. Give her a reason to come here," his dad replied. "Charlie is bringing her home from the airport tonight. Maybe you can stop by tomorrow?"

Jake just nodded his head in assent. He could do that. He hadn't seen Bella in four years. They used to keep in touch with the occasional phone call, but it just stopped. It was like she fell off the face of the earth. She wouldn't come home during the summer or even Christmas. He didn't even know if Charlie was in contact with her, he very rarely mentioned her.

Jake ran his hands down his face. He was tired and just wanted to sleep. While showering before crashing onto his mattress, he decided that he would go there first thing in the morning. He'd just have to wing it from there.

He was asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow.

A/N Thanks for reading!

Here are some excellent stories by people who actually can write, enjoy!

The Light of Day by Nauticalmass - Jasper/Bella

Divided by forthelongestday - Peter/Bella

Bluebird by meliz875 - Embry/Bella

Crazy Glue by August Shaffer - Seth/Bella

The Snow King by Bella MacLeod - Caius/Bella


	4. Chapter 3: Ants and a Camel

A/N: SM owns everything! Beta'd by August Shaffer and feebes 86. Pre-read by Mist. Many thanks, ladies, for all your help and patience with me!

Chapter 3: Ants and a Camel

_'You say you wanted more_

_What are you waiting for?_

_I'm not running from you (from you)_

_Come break me down_

_Bury me, bury me_

_I am finished with you, you, you._

_Look in my eyes_

_You're killing me, killing me_

_All I wanted was you'_

The Kill - 30 Seconds To Mars

**_BPOV_**

After collecting my baggage, I dragged myself to where I could see my father waiting. Fuck my life.

"Hello, Bella," my father greeted. He was standing by himself, people giving him a wide berth as he was still in his police uniform. I inwardly groaned. Police uniform meant police car, and if there was one thing worse than riding with Charlie, it was riding with Police Chief, Charles Swan in his cruiser.

"Charlie," I responded curtly. I caught the twitch of his seventies, porn-style, very unbecoming mustache, and the hardening of his eyes. He couldn't stand me calling him that, hence why I did. When he had asked me several years ago to call him Dad I had told him I'd be happy to whenever he started acting like one. He never mentioned it again. I could always call him 'Chief', I suppose, but that would infer some level of respect. Preposterous.

He looked down at my luggage and asked, "Is that all your luggage?"

"Yeah, I shipped the rest this morning. Should be delivered in a few days." I didn't look at him as I responded, already heading for the closest door. A goddamn Forks police cruiser parked near it.

I helped him load my luggage in the trunk as I eyed the backseat of the cruiser longingly. Would I be considered antisocial if I just climbed into the back? Probably.

After sitting down in more temporary prison, I watched in the window as the city lights of Port Angeles began to fade away. The tension was palpable, and I closed my eyes while I tried to sing songs in my head to pass the time.

The uncomfortable silence must have been too much for Charlie to bear, because after a few more minutes he cleared his throat and spoke. "I'm glad you're here, Bella," he said. I could see him eying me anxiously in my peripheral.

"Mm Hmm," I acknowledged. That was far more than he deserved.

"I know we've made mistakes ...," he stopped abruptly when my eyes snapped open. I'm sure the fire in them blazing, as red tinged everything that I saw. His gaze quickly retreated toward the road again and he continued, "I mean, I have made mistakes, and I want us to start over. I want us to have a relationship."

I squeezed the bridge of my nose, my headache back in full force. "Look, Charlie. That's nice and all but it's too little, far too late. We need to hash this all out, from the beginning. And we will, but not tonight. However, I will say this though, at the very least you're a sperm donor," I internally smirked with Charlie's cringe. I continued, "And at the most you're my grandmother's son. If you want to be more, then you need to act like we're from Missouri and just show me. It's really just that simple. I'm here until graduation, so you know where to find me."

Charlie stared ahead for several minutes, as if the headlights were going to illuminate his next words on the road ahead. After I had almost given up on his response, he finally muttered an 'alright' and continued driving.

For as long as I could remember, it had just been me and my mother. My parents had divorced when I was just three. She had high-tailed it to California to live with her mother for a while. After she found work, we moved out to an apartment nearby, but I spent most of my time with my Nana. Renee was either too busy with her next fad, or man, and Nana just wanted the company.

But with every broken heart, she wanted a new start, a clean slate. So she would pick a new town and I came with her each time. At first it was because she was my mother, my hero. I wanted to be a teacher just like her, look like her, and be carefree like her. But eventually I started to take care of her, especially after we moved to Arizona, away from Nana's influence, shortly after my eighth birthday. I paid the bills, cleaned the clothes, and I cooked so we wouldn't both starve. She wanted to be my friend and confidant, but only on the good days. It was never when I really needed her, like when I had lost both grandmothers.

She lived in her own little bubble, content with her ignorance of responsibility and life in general. But one day the bubble burst, reality found Renee Higginbotham and she lived in denial for thereafter it seemed. Keeping the happy-go-lucky attitude, 'It will work itself out Bella. Don't worry'. She kept the fear and uncertainty locked in the closet like a red headed stepchild, trying desperately to keep her head buried under the sand.

And the majority of my issues with Charlie were that he knew. He was never around and he didn't care to be. He had married her; he had divorced her. He let her take me away without so much of a ...

"What are your plans for the summer?" Charlie asked, obliterating my thoughtful contemplation.

"Get a job." Get laid. _Ha! Good one, Bella. _"Not much past that."

"Why do you need a job?"

"Peanuts," I said sarcastically. You ask stupid questions, you get sarcastic answers. I don't make the rules, I just follow them.

"You don't need to work. I can give you some money."

"Ah, no thanks, anyway, I need the job to pay for a vehicle."

"I bought you one," he said matter-of-factly.

"What?" I all but yelled.

"A truck," he said as his lips curled at the corners.

Oh, hell no! It was fairly telling of our relationship that the first thing I thought about when he mentioned buying me a vehicle was 'Beware of the Greeks, and their gifts'. Assuming this wasn't a Trojan horse, I figured I was safe.

Anyway, I guess it could be a sort of olive branch in a way. _Bribe, Bella, bribe._ Okay, so I would just have to find a way to pay him back for it so I can keep my pride and my promise to myself.

Another fifteen minutes had us pulling into the drive of my Gran's house, Charlie had moved in shortly after her passing. And sitting in the drive was a decrepit piece of monstrosity that was to be my truck.

It was reddish brown in color, with speckles of orangey rust here and there mimicking the red highlights in my hair. It had big fenders around the wheels, and a bed step side. It was a tank; a force to be reckoned with.

Bottom line - I loved it. _Damn it!_ Now, I had to thank him.

After parking the cruiser, Charlie got out and began getting the luggage out of the back. I got out as well and followed to help him, taking what I thought were covert glances at my new truck. Charlie spoke, "It was Billy's. Jake fixed it up for you and I bought it earlier today. You can drive a stick, right?"

I was tempted to say something of an inappropriate nature like 'Oh, I'm good with a stick in my hands all right' in order to make him uncomfortable. But the thought of me being sexually active was downright hilarious. Well not really, it was sad. But I know he wouldn't believe me and it was only really worth it if he did.

"Yeah," I lied. I knew the mechanics of it as I had paid attention while riding with Gran and others who were driving a manual transmission, but I had never attempted it. Of course, I couldn't share that little chestnut with Charlie, or he would insist on me mastering the ability, before I was set loose on the unsuspecting populous. Or worse yet, that he teach me. Not going to happen. The street was always pretty quiet, so I'll just practice while he's at work.

"Thank you," I all but whispered as we made our way up the walk toward the house. I was hoping that he might not actually hear it. I rolled my tongue on the roof of mouth trying to get the bad taste out, regretting giving the toddler my brownie earlier in the day.

"You're very welcome Bella," he said with as much sincerity as I had ever witnessed before from him. He stopped to open the door for me. _No! Stop being nice, your confusing me._

Making my way inside made my heart sink. I knew she wasn't going to be here. She was gone. But the little girl in me had hoped, like only children can, that even though she was gone, her presence would still be felt in the house. However, the house I entered was cold, detached and lifeless, things that Helen Swan was not.

In the living room I noticed there were no pictures, no antiques, no half completed quilt in her now absent rocker-glider, chair by the bay window. Moving on, I realized that the differences in these areas were nothing compared to what I found when I stopped at the entrance to the kitchen. The room was completely filthy, a thick layer of grease and dust seemed to cover everything. It appeared Gran herself was the last one to have cleaned it. Her island was gone, as were the pot rack above it and the baker's rack that should be on my right. The table in the windowed nook was full of pizza boxes and old newspapers. If Gran were alive, this would kill her.

"Where's the island?" I asked as I looked at the abomination in front of me. "And the racks?" _I swear to God if you got rid of Gran's stuff..._

"Attic."

I didn't comment on that, since I was in shock at the sight before me. Fuck, I'll never sleep tonight knowing this mess is downstairs!

I could almost hear the grease multiplying as I stand here. It's like cockroaches. Shit! Cockroaches eat grease! I stared at the wall as if I were Superman, as if I could see the vile creatures laying in wait in them, until we turned off the light and they could scamper out and gorge themselves on piles and piles of grease. They would eventually climb the stairs and consume me and Charlie in our sleep, getting so big that only Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones would have a prayer of exterminating them.

As if he was could read my thoughts, Charlie spoke up "We got a little ant problem." Oh, God help me. And so we did, I could see several crawling around on the counter between the sink and fridge. Those little bastards got into everything! Gran loathed them, said she'd invite a family of raccoons in for dinner before she would live in peace with ants for fifteen minutes. If she saw even one, we had to clean the entire kitchen, and I mean the ENTIRE kitchen. Poor woman is rolling over in her grave right now.

Okay, I may have inherited a little bit of OCD from her. But ants? Come on!

"I put some Terro out, may take a few days," Charlie said quickly seeing the sheer panic on my face.

Before I could stop myself I asked, fear evident as my voice cracked, "Roaches?"

"Nah," he replied. I released the breath I didn't know I was holding. "That's more of a winter problem." My head snapped up to find the retreating form of Charlie, shoulders shaking with laughter. Men! Can't live with them, go to jail if you get caught killing them. I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not, but vowed that any roaches checking in, checked out. Permanently.

Too tired to deal with the mess right then, I made my excuses and got ready for bed. I didn't unpack, didn't look around my room. I just crashed.

I slept like the dead at first but then I started to dream the strangest dream. The giant cockroach from the Men In Black movie was chasing me around the woods. I was crying and frantically screaming for help that seemed to be as elusive as talent on reality television. Finally, I was cornered, my back against a tree, and its red eyes were boring into mine. Just before it took off my head with its mandibles, I was suddenly transported to the clouds. To my astonishment, I was flying! Diving and somersaulting in the cottony clouds like I was a Lost Boy in Never-Never Land.

After a time, I floated up to a large chair facing opposite me. When I stopped behind it a moment later, I recognized it as an airplane seat. The small boy from my flight to Seattle jumped up, startling me, and turned around. His delicious peal of laughter was instantly comforting to me. He beckoned me closer until our faces were inches apart. I was staring into his wide, dark grey eyes while his hair, slightly darker than I remembered, waved in the breeze. He placed his small hands on either side of my head, and smiled at me with a geniality that belied his age. He inhaled deeply, and then slowly and steadily blew the breath into my face. Giggling at my obvious surprise, he simply said, "Boo."

I shot up in bed, my heart galloping in my chest, my breathing was labored, and my head was splitting. That was definitely a mind fuck of a dream. I rarely dreamed anymore, that I could recall at least, and never had I been left so unsettled by one before.

I shook my head, and got up. After my morning routine, I drug myself downstairs. The clock on the hallway wall showed the time to be just after five in the morning. Cringing as I walked into the room that must be cleaned, I made a pot of coffee. Moments later, I poured it into a cup, ignoring the potential bacteria that could be lurking within. Worse yet, I had to drink it black, because of the expired milk and canister full of sugar ants. _Bastards!_

I decided before I could clean anything I had to clear the crap out first. I started pulling food out of the cabinets and fridge left and right, checking and sniffing, and near gagging several times. With the fridge now devoid of anything but empty ice trays, I decided to clean it first then I could go buy some groceries. Of course there was nothing to disinfect it with, so I added cleaning supplies to the train length, list of items that were needed. I continued pulling stuff out of the cabinets, putting things either on the table or in the trash. By the time Charlie materialized downstairs, the table was covered in cans of soup and a stack of dishes to be cleaned.

"My God! What happened here?" he exclaimed.

"Exactly! How could you eat and cook in this pig sty?" I vehemently defended.

"I don't cook." See! Positive proof right there that my theory about grease multipling was true. The thick layer coating everything now, was the progeny from Gran's last batch of bacon she fried. Ugh!

"I need the island and the racks brought down so I can clean them too."

"I like it open like this, so there's more r..,"

"I wasn't asking Charlie," I snapped. There would be no negotiating on this. This kitchen was going to look like the last time Gran was in it, come hell or high water.

He mumbled something, unintelligible to my ears, as he turned and went upstairs; I assume to finish getting ready for work.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. Beyond confused, I walked into the hallway to find it was only a little after seven.

I opened the door, hesitantly, only to find a giant waiting on the other side. He looked damn near seven feet tall, effectively dwarfing my respectable five foot five inches. He gave me a sunny smile, his eyes laughing at my visible awe.

"What? Nothing to say to your favorite cousin?" Realization dawned on me at once that this was Jacob Black.

He made to give me one of his signature bear hugs, but I deftly avoided it. Giving him a small punch to the shoulder instead, grimacing slightly at the pain it caused in my hand to do so._ Shit, is he made of granite? _"Hello, Jacob," I said. His smile clouded over with my using his full name. The last time I had seen him had been a lifetime ago, and a lot had happened in between. I wasn't the same person, but I was somewhat pissed that I hadn't heard from him since then. I had always been closer to him than Quil, but I guess out of sight is out of mind.

"What brings you here so early?" I asked.

"I'm on my way to Port Angeles for a part. Heard you were in town and thought I'd stop by and make sure you know the ins and outs of the beast so she will treat you right." You could tell that my lack of elation to see him had thrown him off.

Charlie chose that moment to come out the door. It was obvious to me that he was no happier to see Jacob than I was. "Jacob," he acknowledged. "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd say hello and make sure Bella could change the oil in the ole girl before I went to P.A. to get a part." They started talking about some new Mariner's player that was showing promise as they both walked to the truck. Charlie finally said he had to go to work and took his leave.

"So what rock have you been hiding under these past four years, Bells? Do ya got a beau?" he said batting his eyelashes like the debutants of old. Turning to unlatch the hood and peering inside he went on, "Gotta admit, I was a little hurt when you stopped calling."

What the fuck?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie stiffen for the briefest of seconds before continuing to open his cruiser door. And after he sat himself inside and looked up and met my eyes, I knew. The bastard hadn't said a word. Not a goddamn word to anybody, about the shit I had been through. Nothing about where I was or what I was doing. I stared at my father through the windshield in disbelief, a silent 'Why?' escaping my lips.

Choking back a sob with a shuddering breath, a single tear slid down my cheek out of Jake's line of sight. I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing. I could breakdown later. Crying would only peak Jacob's curiosity, and a curious Jacob was a dangerous thing.

And here I had thought no one had given a damn. I wasn't overly close with anyone left in Forks and La Push, but I knew them better than anyone else, and it had hurt badly when they had avoided me too. If nothing else, they were Gran's family, my only link I had to her, from twelve hundred miles away.

"Bella?" Jacob said, concern lacing his tone.

I shook my head of the thoughts bouncing around like a pinball. I opened my eyes to my lonely existence. Looking back down the drive showed Charlie had apparently escaped during my preoccupation, retreating like the coward he was.

"Sorry, just busy I guess," I decided to reply, thankful that my voice didn't crack. Perhaps Charlie's omission was a good thing. Not much I would get now but pity, and there were few things on this earth that I hated more than sympathy, of any form.

"No on the beau then?" he asked.

"Definitely no." Jacob chuckled and proceeded to show me how to check the oil. Then he made me show him twice what I had learned. _Anal, much?_

As he put the hood down, he announced "Hey, Grandpa wants you to come see him, says he has something for you."

"Liiikkke?" I drawled.

"Don't ask me, I'm just the messenger. Anyway, you know him, he wouldn't have told me. Everything has to be all mystic and shit," he rolled his eyes while shaking his head. He looked fairly comical when he did that, but the fight to keep the tears at bay kept the smile from forming on my face.

"Kay, when I get the hang of the truck, I will."

His head jerked to a stop quickly, looking at me with a quirked brow. "You can't drive it?" he asked incredulously.

"No, I'm just not that good," I snapped. "I've only driven an automatic."

"But Charlie didn't mention ..."

"Charlie seems to have not mentioned a great many things," I cut him off, unable to keep the venom out of my tone. I sighed, running a hand over the bandana I had thrown on before starting to clean out the kitchen. "Look, its fine. It's just the clutch giving me trouble."

Jacob looked at me as if he didn't believe me. He could tell that I was upset, but I was hopefully banking on the male species' trepidation of tears that would keep him from prying.

"Tell you what, why don't I have Quil or Embry drop me off later this afternoon and we can go see Grandpa together. I can help you learn the clutch and you can stay for dinner."

I raised an eyebrow, "Will it be edible?"

"Will be if you help," he smiled cheekily. Trying to get him to leave before I lost my fight with my emotions, I just nodded my head and agreed for him to come back around three. Hopefully, I could put a dent in the kitchen by then and it would be before Charlie would get home. Not that I expected him back anytime before midnight in effort to avoid me. Perhaps, I'll pack a bag for the weekend just in case.

Drowning once again in the pain, despair, and loneliness of the last four years, I watched Jacob back out of the drive. I slowly turned and walked back into the house, tears already running down my cheeks. Shutting the door softly, I leaned back and rested against it. A sob broke free as my emotions got the best of me, and I slid slowly down to the floor. There, in the cold foyer of my grandmother's empty house, I did what I had not allowed myself to do in well over a year, I cried.

A/N - Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 4 Distractions

A/N - As always, I don't own jack shit. Many thanks to my wonderful beta August Shaffer. Also, special thanks to pre-readers feebes86 and Mist. Thanks to all for the favs, follows, and reviews. They are better than Dr. Pepper!

Chapter 4: Distractions

_'I need some distraction,_  
_Oh, beautiful release._  
_Memories seep from my veins.'_

Angel - Sarah McLachlan

There, in the cold foyer of my grandmother's empty house, I did what I had not allowed myself to do in well over a year, I cried.

I sat there on the floor with my head resting on my knees, arms encircling them, for at least thirty minutes. It was best just to get the entire crying jag over with, so that I could actually do something constructive with the rest of my day. Slowly rising to my feet, I breathed in deeply and walked to the entrance of the living room.

On my succinct glance of the room last night, I had noticed that there were no pictures or evidence of me to be found. When Gran lived here, she had pictures of me everywhere. Group pictures with me at Jake's house with him, Quil, and Embry. One of Papa Swan with me asleep in his arms, sitting for the first time in the rocking chair he made for me. Christmas' of when Charlie or I were little, shredded wrapping paper surrounding us as we beamed at the camera holding our gifts. Another of me in the kitchen by a batch of cookies I had made totally by myself, my proud grin surrounding an oatmeal raisin cookie. There had even been some gifts I had given to Gran displayed with her various knickknacks that I had crafted for her. You know, like the ceramic mug or ashtray that is so hideous that only a mother's or, in this case, a grandmother's love would entice them to display the monstrosity.

All of these reminders of my existence were absent. It wasn't enough that I lived so far away. No, Charlie had to eradicate me from the living room as well. Perhaps the reflection from the pictures was interfering with his view of Sports Center or whatever shit he watched on TV.

I guess I should have figured Charlie hadn't told anybody anything. All the times I had visited, I had stayed with Gran; Charlie coming over for meals and interacting with me as an uncle would with an annoying niece. The one time I visited after her death I had spent the majority of my time in La Push.

So, none of this really surprised me deep down. I had long thought that my parents felt I was a load that would have best been swallowed. It mattered little; as long as he stayed out of my way, I would stay out of his.

When I entered the kitchen, I immediately noticed some cash on the fridge. Walking closer I saw a note on the dry erase board that stated the money was for groceries and for me to have a nice day. I just rolled my eyes and checked on the progress of the defrosting freezer. Deciding now was the best time to go to the store, I threw a ball cap to hide the state of my hair and walked out into the damp air.

Getting in the truck, I decided I would go to the Thriftway. It was the closest, at a quarter of a mile away and Gran had always shopped there, so unless they completely changed their layout I could be in and out in a jiffy. It took a few times but eventually I remembered how to get the truck started. Wincing at the cacophony elicited by the gears when I shifted the monster into reverse, I slowly started backing out.

Only to lurch to a stop not two seconds later.

Two more false starts had me questioning if is was worth the trouble, and I was dangerously close to just saying 'fuck it'. But I had to get cleaning supplies today, come hell or high water. I couldn't deal with the mess any longer! It was close enough I could walk there, but I could just see me walking back in a downpour with paper sacks; my eco-friendly shopping bags were stupidly being shipped here. Half the town would not survive the fallout of that situation.

On the sixth fucking time, I finally made it to the road. Cringing as I ground the gears once again, I began to move forward. I was high and dry until I got to stop sign at South Forks Ave. I had to wait a good five minutes for traffic to clear. When my opening appeared to safely turn left, I pulled out.

Or attempted to, because I released the mother fucking clutch too quick. Again! Another two tries later had me full out raging, and I was damn close to stomping out the floor board and just Fred Flintstoning it back. Looking in the mirror, I saw a strange purplish-red tone to my usual light complexion. _That cannot be healthy._ I took deep. calming breaths to help myself relax, not wanting to be involved in any road rage incidents. I began to panic when I noticed someone coming up behind me on the road, but the driving Gods gave me a reprieve and I was able to successfully pull onto the avenue with my next attempt.

The smile from my victory was wiped quickly off as I pulled into the Thriftway not fifteen seconds later, because I was going to have to do another goddamn left-hand turn to get home. Fuck my life!

The three-minute drive that took twenty minutes had rattled my nerves something fierce, so I was in no mood to be here. So, I decided that I was on the Chuck Norris Plan: get in and get out. So, I grabbed a cart and started weaving in and out of the aisles like a crazy person, only slowing for the elderly and small children. I collected, purchased, and loaded my groceries in just under forty minutes, a personal best, and I was now sitting at the road again trying to make another left-hand turn.

Ten minutes later, I pulled into the driveway again with a horrible headache, praising the inventor of the automatic transmission as the smartest damn man to ever walk the earth. Unloading what I could on the table, I put the rest of the groceries in a cooler I had found in the pantry with some ice while I got the fridge cleaned. But first things first. My nerves demanded that I drink a Dr. Pepper, and I decided that I damn well deserved some Ben & Jerry's for my toils so far this morning. After chasing some pills down with some Dr. P, I planned my method of attack while I indulged in creamy goodness. _Blessed are the lactose intolerant; their loss is my (weight) gain._

I worked efficiently and methodically through the kitchen, cleaning every nook and cranny. I scrubbed the floors and countertops and took near psychotic glee with every ant I got to kill. I moved next to the pantry, storing some of my purchases of the day in there where I could.

At a quarter past two, I decided to call it a day and it was time to take a quick shower. After washing the chemical smell off my skin the best I could, I dressed in a pair of cargo shorts and a Hard Rock shirt and quickly did a French braid, being careful not to leave any gaps. I put minimal makeup on: eyeliner, mascara, and some strawberry chap stick.

Looking forward to the evening with all the anticipation of a root canal, I made my way downstairs with a sweater in hand.

I heard the sound of an engine idling outside shortly thereafter and then the sound of a car door closing. I hurried to scribe a note on the fridge to the parental unit that only read 'Rez'.

"Hello, Jake," I greeted as his hand was rising to knock on the door. He looked surprised I didn't use Jacob instead.

"Hi," he replied, clearly apprehensive after his reception earlier in the morning. I sighed.

**"**Hey, I'm sorry for acting like such a bitch earlier." I said, tilting my head back so he could see the sincerity behind the words in my eyes. "I'm not a morning person. It wasn't my intention to take it out on you." A lie of course as I had been very upset with him and the rest of our mutual friends and family only a few hours prior. But the realization of my father's silence on certain matters, quelled my ire. But he didn't need to know all that and lying had become something of a necessity over the past few years. Of course, this was one instance where I would agree that the apple did not fall far from either tree, I had learned from the best.

"No worries. Glad you've woken up.' He gave me the same impish smirk he shared with Quil V. I nodded my head, and started to turn to go to the truck, but a scorching hand halted my movement. Before I could fathom what was happening, I was wrapped in an iron cage in one of Jake's bear hugs. The heat was unreal and if I didn't know better I would swear I was standing in the Phoenix sun. After a moment, he returned my feet to the ground. Giving me one last squeeze, and what sounded like a sniff, he stepped away from me, the heat of his embrace being replaced by the warmth of his smile shining down on me.

"What have you been doing today?" he asked.

"Cleaning the kitchen. I should have just lit a match and been done with it. Good Lord, it was disgusting. What? Do I still smell?" I embarrassedly questioned as I noticed his nostrils flare.

"Nah, its not bad. You just smell a little off." He replied as we made our way to the truck.

_~B of L~_

"Do you want to fucking drive?" I growled. I was exasperated with Jake's fidgeting, bitching, and butt-clenching for the last twenty minutes.

"I want you to learn how to drive! Preferably, without you killing me or trashing the transmission," he chided as he sat in the passenger seat. He had an arm resting on the door with the window rolled down, a white-knuckled grip on the mirror outside his window, and the other arm was slung over the back of the seat with his fingers digging into the worn leather. His reactions to my driving were funny for the first five minutes, but now they just plain outright insulting. _Ass!_

"Hello! We're moving aren't we? I'm doing fine." And I was, exponentially better than my little adventure this morning. If I didn't think it would backfire on me, I would give him something to complain about, but I didn't want the deluge of women driver insults that would be hurled at me until the end of time if I did. Anyway, I didn't think my stomach could handle that again. "Stop your bitching! Now, what have you been doing besides steroids lately?"

Jake really didn't look his age at all, looking closer to three years older than me instead of two years younger. Although there was a still a bit of youthful softness, his features were quite chiseled now. I wasn't blind to the fact that he barely had enough leg room in the rather large cab of my truck. And cousin or not, I could see the six-pack he was donning under his black tee-shirt that was so tight at the biceps that it could double as a duel tourniquet. If he wasn't as close to a brother as I would ever have, I would be drooling at the sight of him.

Thirty minutes later and several homicide attempts according to Jake, we pulled to the house and saw his grandfather waiting for us on the porch swing.

Quil Ateara III was an opposing man, even at the tender age of seventy. He was probably around six foot tall in his youth, but now he was hunched over a bit, clutching a cane that had Billy Black made him years ago. His dark-grey hair was woven into two neat braids on either side of head. His aged face was tempered with a smile of the young at heart. And although he had the misfortune of burying the love of his life and two children, he still had a twinkle in his dark eyes that I could see even from a distance. He really hadn't changed at all.

I got out of the truck and walked around toward the house. Rounding the front bumper, I found Jake on his hands and knees, mock kissing the ground exclaiming, "I'm alive! I'm alive!"

Narrowing my eyes at the not-so-little fucker, I made my way again towards the house. However, just as I reached him, I pushed his butt that was in the air hard with my foot. His mouth went right into the earth, still open from mumbling his snark, rewarding him with a mouthful of mud. He shot up to his feet sputtering, spitting, and cussing me. "What the fuck, Bella?"

I raised a hand to my cheek, feigning thoughtful consideration of his comment. "Hmmm, I don't know," I sarcastically replied.

I looked up to see Old Quil was now standing by the railing, full-out laughing at his moronic grandson. "Jacob, what on earth is your problem?"

"I hope you have something for him to eat; it seems he has resorted to eating mud in his hunger crazed dementia," I laughed. I heard what could only be described as a low growl from behind me, and I hissed in reply. His eyes got wide at that, but I just continued laughing at him and made my way toward the house again.

"Oh course you know, this means war," I heard Jake snarl at me. I just turned my head and smirked at him, acknowledging his declaration.

"Now, now son. You know you shouldn't dish it out if you can't eat it." I could distinctly hear Jake behind me mumbling something about he wasn't throwing any mud. I just snorted another laugh as I climbed the steps. Walking over to the elderly patriarch, I gave him a quick hug and escorted him back to the swing he was occupying before.

"How are you? You're looking well," I politely inquired.

"Can't complain. Knee is acting up but other than that, I'm fine. I must say my dear, you are lovely. Helen would be so proud if she could see you now. "

I didn't say anything, knowing my voice might crack. I just gave him what I hoped was not a wet smile.

"Well, I'm glad to see you. I have something for you." He whistled sharply and a short time later the screen door to the house started to open. A large Siberian Husky pup, probably around six months old, loped over to us and sat down on his haunches in front of the swing with his dripping tongue lolling to the side. He was almost the spitting image of Jack, one of the dogs Gran had before she died.

His coat was a blend of different shades of grey, white, and charcoal except for his face and paws that were snow-white. His eyes were a brilliant blue, and he was absolutely gorgeous.

"This here is Jax. He is a grandson of your grandparents' dogs, Jack and Jasmine. Helen always wanted you to have one of their pups. Since you are living here now, there is no reason for you not to have one. He is the best of the last litter; I trained him myself."

I choked out, "I can't take him Quil; it is too much. He is your dog, you should keep him."

"I'm too old to play like he needs. I'm sure you will want to rediscover the area and he will keep you out of trouble." Jake snorted at that, but Old Quil continued, "Promise to bring him here every week, maybe along with a pie or two, and we will call it even."

I nodded my head and reached over and gave him a tight hug. I whispered a thank you in his ear as I felt a few tears run down my cheeks. _Cut this shit out now, Swan! _Old Quil patted my back and kissed my forehead tenderly. I pulled away, my cheeks painted from embarrassment, and replied "Fine, but you lose one pie for making me cry."

He just chuckled and spoke to the waiting canine, "Jax, this is Isabella." As his hand gestured to me, Jax lifted one of his over-sized paws to me to shake. I couldn't help to giggle at how adorable he was. "She is your new master. If anyone gives her trouble, you take care of it. Okay, boy?" I wiggled my eyebrows at Jake as a dare, but he didn't seem to be concerned in the slightest.

"Hi, Jax. We are going to get along just great as long as you stay out of my kitchen." Old Quil laughed heartily at that. Gran had always had a sixth sense if the dogs were eyeing something to steal in the kitchen. She would be hunched over her latest quilt listening to some old record when all of a sudden she would say 'No' forcefully. Not two seconds later a dog would come in, looking thoroughly chastised, and lay down at her feet.

"You need someone to watch after you while your father is at work. He is well-respected but it only takes one person." I didn't comment on that but I'm sure he saw my doubt.

I always remember a dog at Papa and Gran's house. But after Papa passed away, Gran had said she felt safer with the dogs there. Not that she really needed to worry with Charlie being a cop and her being meaner than a rattlesnake. She said that an intruder might underestimate what she could do if they were insane enough to break in, but most people will error on the side of caution when a dog is involved. Nine times out of ten if a thief is presented with two houses, one with a dog and one without, they will go to the one without unless they knew for certain what is in the house with the dog and feel it is worth the risk of getting bit. I remember several times when Jack and Jasmine had had a litter of puppies, Gran tried and tried to get me to take one back with me at the end of the summer but I steadfastly declined. Renee barely could feed me, let alone a massive dog. It would have been cruel to bring another mouth to feed into that environment.

"So, I hope you don't have plans for dinner," Quil commented to me, drawing my attention back to him.

"No, Jake mentioned my helping cook."

"Jake!" his grandfather admonished.

"It's okay. You know I love to cook," I laughed.

"Well, actually we are having a bonfire tonight." _Ambushed!_ _You better watch yourself Black, _I thought. Old Quil continued, "Perhaps you can take a look in the kitchen and see what you can whip up. We can always send Jake, here, down to the store if you need anything."

Jake could tell I was pissed about his omission and was chuckling while I passed by him to go inside the house.

"Laugh it up fuzzball. I foresee some Super Lax in your future," I threatened, ending his mirth abruptly. To my utter delight, Jax growled at him as he followed behind me.

"Good dog," I chuckled.

Once inside, I was relieved to find the home was neat and tidy, the result of Old Quil's daughter-in-law, Joy, no doubt. Joy Ateara was an amiable, sweet-tempered woman with the burden of raising a son without a father. The boy, rambunctious as boys tended to be, was lucky enough to have the guidance of his eldest namesake after his father's tragic passing.

After a quick perusal of the kitchen, I determined I would make some cookies and a large pasta salad. Sending a grumbling Jake to fetch a few items, I quickly made short work of my tasks while I caught up with Old Quil. Jax was lying down obediently outside the entrance to the kitchen with his head resting on his large paws, his eyes moving from Old Quil to me as we spoke to one another. Yep, Jax and I were going to get along just fine. I was deftly dodging questions left and right about my absence the last few years, and while Old Quil didn't press the issue, I could tell by the concern on his face that he knew there I was keeping things close to the chest.

After many heated accusations and vehement denials between Jake and me, Old Quil closed the door on the passenger side of my truck to go to First Beach with me; Jax happily riding in the bed. Jake was convinced I was going to put the old man's back out with all the lurching stops. Ten minutes later, we arrived and Old Quil assured me that I did just fine. I could tell it was a bold-faced lie as the trip had taken double the time it should have, but I figured he didn't want to jeopardize anymore future pies_. _Wise man.

Making our way to the bonfire, my eyes widened as we drew near.

_Good God! What the hell is in the water here?_

A/N So this was mostly a filler chapter, hope you don't mind. But next chapter she will meet the pack, including Paul. Thanks for reading!

Some great stories to check out:

American Wolf in Forks by feebes86 - Jake/Bella

A Marriage of Convenience by August Shaffer - Jake/Bella

A Forest Fire by Bedelia - Jasper/Bella

Life's Always Turning by lilytimes - Paul/Bella

Gods & Wolves by bmitw (MrsEphriamBlack) - Ephriam/Bella

An Unobservable Entity by Mortissues - Jasper/Bella


	6. Chapter 5: Introductions and Regrets

A/N - As always, I own nothing. Many thanks to my beta August Shaffer. Also, thanks to pre-readers Feebes & Mist. Check out these ladies' banners and stories if you haven't already. Thanks to all for the favs, follows, and reviews.

Chapter 5: Introductions and Regrets

_'When you came in the air went out  
And all those shadows there filled up with doubt  
I don't know who you think you are  
But before the night is through  
I wanna do bad things with you  
I wanna do real bad things with you'_

Bad Things - Jace Everett

**BPOV**

_Good God! What the hell is in the water here?_

I walked slowly, eyes wide at the sight before me. There was a large group of people down the beach. It wasn't the number of them that caught my attention. It was the eight large guys littered among the fold that drew my eye, each standing over six-feet, four-inches. Jake, who came ahead of Old Quil and me and swore he would not ride with me again for love or money, was included in the fray.

Carrying my rather large pasta salad with several sacks of cookies on top, I kept my pace to match that of Old Quil, who was slowly traversing the sand beside me. Upon jumping out of the bed, Jax made a beeline for some birds that were resting farther down the beach. Once they flew out of his reach, taunting him with their evasiveness, he turned back, stopping every few yards or so to sniff or paw at something. When he reached a rock and made to lift his leg to it, Old Quil barked something in Quileute. Jax immediately ceased his relief efforts and went into the neighboring forest, returning a few moments later.

"What did you say?" I questioned, acting as if I didn't know.

"Told him no. I'll have to teach you some of the commands for him." I nodded my head. During my summers, I spent **a lot** of time in La Push. I could be found either helping Gran visit the sick or elderly with Molly, or causing mischief with Jake or Quil. Actually, they caused all the trouble, and I always got caught because I couldn't run as fast. Anyway, I would pick up words here and there, especially when visiting people with Molly as some people didn't know English and others would mumble in Quileute under their breath or amongst themselves to exclude us, not realizing that Molly understood everything they said. Molly, of course, got pissed and ended up teaching Gran and me some Quileute. I really only knew enough to be dangerous.

Reaching a large folding table overflowing with food, I placed my items on it, wondering why in the hell Old Quil had insisted for me to double or triple my recipes. There was no way this group could eat this much food. As soon as my hands were free, a pair of deeply tanned arms extended around me and lifted me off my feet in a tight hug.

"Hells Bells. Man, I've missed you!," Quil V, or Young Quil as some of the older population called him, said as he tried to squeeze me into a diamond.

"Quil...can't...breathe," I gasped, hearing Jax growling beside me. Quil loosened his hold on me and the rush of air to my awaiting lungs was almost painful. He pulled back a little to look at me, dangling in his arms, with an apologetic grimace on his face.

"Sorry." He also looked far older than his age. He was several inches shorter than Jake, probably six-feet, three-inches or so, but what he lacked in height he made up for in width. He always was rather stocky, but now he was just unreal. He was all muscle and sinew and his arms were near double the size of my thighs. He looked like he could bench press my truck!

Dropping me to my feet, he put one of his massive arms around my shoulders and started walking me to the young group a few yards away. "Let's get the introductions done so we can catch up," he said as we approached. "You remember Embry Call."

Embry shyly greeted me, "Nice to see you again, Bella." Embry was tall, but he had a swimmer's build with long, lean muscles. He was extremely handsome with a chiseled jaw line and dark, almost ebony, eyes. I fought hard to keep the pink off my cheeks as I remembered my first kiss at another bonfire many years ago. An eight-year-old Embry stole it from me, and was rewarded with a beat down from both Quil and Jake. He never attempted anything again in fear of his best friends' reaction, much to my disappointment.

Quil continued, "Moving on, we have Jared Cameron and his girlfriend Kim Collins." I gave them a small wave. Jared was close to Quil's height but nowhere near the same muscle tone. Kim was a cute enough girl, maybe a tad on the plain side, with a short bob cut to her black hair. Quil's comment on their status was a waste of his breath, because they were all over each other. And although Kim's demeanor was pleasant, the hold she had on Jared and the set of her eyes when she sized me up screamed possessiveness.

"This is Sam Uley and his wife Emily. They just got married last weekend. This is Bella, my cousin," Quil moved on. Sam was the same height as Jake, and seemed to be oldest of the brood. His expression was stoic until Quil mentioned the word wife, and then it turned adoring as he looked down at Emily. She was an extremely beautiful woman, but she had three long scars from the corner of her left eye down to the corner of her mouth.

I kept my eyes on her doe-like brown eyes as I greeted them, "Congratulations, it is lovely to meet you." Although the possessiveness was in Emily's stance as well, what really caught my attention was the guilt in Sam's expression when he looked at her scars. It was very subtle, but I was positive I didn't imagine it. _Perhaps love does leave the deepest scars or was it the scars that left the deepest love?_

"These three are Brady Fuller, Collin Littlesea, and Seth Clearwater." The former two smiled warmly at me; Collin going as far as to give me a quick wink when Quil was looking around for someone. Seth merely nodded at me in acknowledgment. Although I kept my features even, I was flabbergasted at the sight of Seth. He looked several years older than me, but in reality was a year or two younger than Jake and Quil. _What the hell is going on?_

"There are two others to our group that you'll meet later. Let's take you to see Uncle Billy before he drives Grandpa insane asking about you." Turning with Quil, we walked back to the elder group congregated close to a large pile of driftwood for the bonfire, waiting for darkness so it could be lit.

I bent over and gave Billy Black a hug saying, "Hello Billy." I was saddened to see him in a wheelchair because of his diabetes. It aggravated me that Jake had failed to mention it on our way to the reservation earlier, because I would have made some special treats for him as I knew he couldn't eat my cookies. He didn't look well, and I cursed his daughters for leaving Jake and him high and dry, talk about a couple of bitches. They were always selfish creatures and Gran said she would never have believed, not in a million years, that they were Billy and Sarah's children, if she had't been in the room at their birth. They never cared about anything but themselves and seemed to take joy in torturing others, particularly poor Jake. They flat-out loathed me because Old Quil treated me like a granddaughter, and I ragged on them constantly because of their treatment of Jake.

After speaking with Billy for a while, I sat down against the logs dispersed around the bonfire. I made sure I was downwind from the group, as I noticed several noses flare when they were around me. I guess the kitchen really must have reeked; they couldn't be acting this way because of Pine-sol, could they?_ It smells so good! _Jax was lying on my legs, pretending to be my own personal movable blanket, as the wind from the ocean was a little chilly. He would make some odd yipping noises in his sleep and his legs would twitch periodically. I figured he was dreaming of chasing more birds.

I always enjoyed coming to bonfires when I was younger. I stuck out like a sore thumb, being the only white girl running around in a sea of bronze faces, but it was always a lot of fun. Gran would sit talking with Molly and Quil III and their mutual friends, while Charlie drank himself into oblivion with Billy and Harry. In many ways I felt more at home in La Push than I ever had in Forks. I always felt a part of something here, not like I was outside looking in. I wasn't an anonymous statistic here; no matter how insignificant my life was. With only a few exceptions, people were friendly and welcoming in a way that I had never found anywhere else; not that Renee's constant moving around afforded me any ability to get to know people.

Talking to Quil, Jake, and Embry, I learned that the missing people were Paul Lahote and Leah Clearwater. _Oh joy_. I didn't know the Paul guy, but Leah had always disliked me. I had never done anything to her, but she rarely missed an opportunity to harass me. I suspected it originated from her parents, because Sue had always been cold to me.

I first noticed the Clearwaters' animosity toward me when I was six, and Gran, Papa, and I were visiting at Molly and Old Quil's house. A large number of kids were there: the Blacks, Quil V, Embry, and the Clearwaters. That was the first summer I remember Gran having Jack, and he was visiting with us. While we were playing I noticed that something had caught the dog's attention near the edge of the woods. I walked over and stood next to him, trying to figure out what it was, as I had never seen anything like it. Quil, Embry, and Jake soon appeared as well, equally puzzled, but I kept them from getting any closer. If that was as far as Jack went, we wouldn't go any farther either. Rebecca, Rachel, Leah, and Seth, always bossed around by his older sister to follow her, came then, concerned they were missing something important. Rebecca, always the bossiest of them, declared the creature a cat, which I scoffed at; I knew it wasn't a cat and told them as much. Pissed at being called stupid by someone younger than her, Rebecca went to retrieve the supposed cat, dragging her entourage with her. When they got about two yards away, I noticed Jack take a step or two back. I retreated with him, dragging my boys with me. The 'cat' turned as if it too was going to retreat, but instead sprayed the most God-awful stink, that I have yet to encounter again, onto the unsuspecting girls and boy.

I swear, the people in Forks could hear the screaming and wailing that ensued then. After running a safe distance where the air was not tainted, I fell to ground laughing my fucking ass off. When the adults came out to see what the commotion was, the girls tried to blame me and the boys. We received stern looks until Sarah and Sue walked the reeking kids home, as Molly refused to let them in her house. I thought we might get chewed out when they left, but Papa and Old Quil actually fell to the ground because they were laughing so hard, tears coming out of both of their eyes. Gran and Molly were chuckling too and decided to bribe us remaining kids with some ice cream so we would never mention their reaction to the others. Needless to say, Sue and Sarah were not happy with us for some time. Sarah got over it pretty quickly, basically when she got the smell of skunk out of her bathroom, but Sue was always pissy towards me after that. Oh well, that shit was funny, I don't care who you are. _Ah, good times._

"Hey, Bells?" Quil questioned, drawing me out of my memory. When I met his joyful eyes, he continued, "You better go swimming now before we eat. Otherwise you will have to wait a while."

"I'm not going swimming." I have a really bad feeling about this. He was showing far too many teeth in that impish grin.

"Are you sure?"

"Do the words, 'Hell hath no fury' mean anything to you, dumbass?" I snarled as I tried to make myself look intimidating, ignoring the fact that Mr. T would give Quil a wide berth.

"Nope!" he said, popping the 'p' at the end, as he swept me up from my seat and threw my over his broad shoulder. I screamed and hit him but it was pointless. He waded about two yards into the surf and then launched me into the cold water of the Northern Pacific, the water drowning my curses as I entered the frigid water. When I finally emerged, gasping and sputtering, I was a good fifteen feet from where he stood.

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You." I seethed, checking if my hair was still tightly woven. I looked to the beach and noticed that two newcomers had joined the bonfire.

"Who's the white chick?" a loud, obnoxious voice asked, slurring the words slightly.

I lifted my eyes to see the voice's owner. He was facing away from me, and God help me, he wasn't wearing a shirt! He was shorter than Jake, but still impossibly tall, and his back was covered in layers and layers of muscles. He also had what looked to be the tightest ass on the planet hidden underneath those denim cutoffs. _Oh yes, mama likes!_

He turned around, slowly like a fashion model, letting me savor every drop of his perfection. He was a chiseled Adonis in the flesh. When I got a full view of him, I literally almost melted into the water. My eyes started at his bare feet and moved upward, noting his muscular legs, and admiring what looked like a very large endowment. _Please don't let that be a sock!_

Moving on, I drooled as I counted his eight pack, yes eight pack, and noted his muscular chest and huge, bulging biceps that rivaled Quil's. When I got to the smirk he was sporting, I quickly moved my eyes to meet his. I couldn't tell the color from this distance but they seemed to glow, either in mirth at my blatant eye-fucking or from the reflection of the setting sun. And although such arrogance would normally turn me off, I couldn't help but smile back at him.

He literally was God's gift to woman, and you could tell that he knew it. As a woman and a virgin, I felt obligated to throw myself at his feet. Oh, and how I wanted to! I could tell with one smoldering look that he could make my cat meow, and quite loudly. And even the thought of, who I assumed was Paul, touching me, my lady bits were already tingling. If I wasn't treading water right now, I know I would be feeling my panties dampen. The water was cold, so I was pretty sure I was already sporting headlights before I saw him.

I was yanked from my enjoyable daydreams of this sex-God and me rolling around on the beach naked by the annoying cackling that was Quil's hyena-like laugh.

"Jax!" I called. Jax raised his head from where he was laying down, cocking his head to the side. I raised a shaking arm, freezing from the cold water, and pointed my finger at Quil who was chuckling to himself as he waded out of the ocean, oblivious to edict I was getting ready to lay down. I drew in a deep breath and then ordered in Quileute, "yali.l!"

And the chase was on. _God, I love this dog!_

~B of L~

**_Meanwhile back in Forks:_**

After killing the engine to the cruiser, Charles Swan ran his hands through his hair and then down along his face. It had been a long and hard day at work. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the absolutely devastated look in Bella's eyes out of his mind. If only he could go back fifteen years and re-write the relationship he had with her. Right all the wrongs.

Charlie walked in and he could immediately smell the cleaners. Walking into the kitchen, he realized how he truly he did not deserve his daughter. She had cleaned it until it shined; she had even scrubbed the cabinet faces. He knew this was only the initial run through; she was so like his mother it wasn't funny.

How had he not really noticed that before? How had he screwed up so bad with her?

For the rest of his life, Charlie would never be able to rationalize how he believed that lying, cheating, whore that was his ex-wife. She knew exactly what to say to get what she wanted. He was so hurt at her betrayal that he just wanted her gone, damn the cost. When he looked at Bella, he couldn't help but see his ex-wife; she was the spitting image of Renee except for darker eyes and hair and that may have been a contributing factor of why he believed that she wasn't his child.

His parents were devastated that Renee had taken their little Angel away, and his mother begged, tears streaming down her face, for him to fight for custody, but to no avail. She tried and tried to get him to have Bella stay with him when she visited, but he wanted nothing to do with mini-Renee, as his stubborn, irrational twenty-four year old self thought of the young girl. He never told his parents what was really going on; there was nothing on this earth that his mother loved more than that little girl. It would have crushed her, in more ways than one. He didn't breathe a word to anyone of what was going on in his mind, the hell he was living in; it would have shattered more than just his life.

He endured having Bella spending the summers in Forks. After his father's death, her visits were the only things that kept his mother going. Bella seemed to sense that she needed to keep her distance; if she wasn't with his mother, she could be found somewhere in La Push, keeping a wide berth between the two of them.

And his mother was always furious with him. She didn't know what could cause someone to turn their back on their own daughter. When his mother suddenly passed away, he was almost relieved that he wouldn't have to keep up the charade any longer. Bella stayed with him for a week in his apartment until a few days after the funeral, when he couldn't handle her tears anymore. While she was staying in La Push, with either Joy Ateara or Billy Black, he found out his mother left Bella the house and all of its contents.

And. He. Was. Livid.

Not necessarily out of any sense of entitlement, because Charlie Swan was a simple man, a bottle of Rainer and a fishing pole were his only necessities in life, But with himself, since he had never told his mother the truth, at least what he thought was true at the time: that Bella was not his child. When he entered his parent's home the first thing he thought he saw was a young Renee staring back at him from a picture in the living room, and suddenly red bled into his vision. He didn't remember trashing the house, but when he woke up from his alcohol-induced coma the next morning, face down on the couch, he was surrounded by broken glass. None of the pictures in the living room or hallway survived. When he got done sweeping the glass up from his tantrum, he moved all he could to the attic for storage. Furniture, dishes, anything really that reminded him of his mother.

The pieces that made him think of Bella? They met the same fate as the glass in the dustpan.

He avoided Bella after that; feigning an inability to deal with her due to his grief over his deceased mother. When he came back from dropping her off at the airport, to the house that he was assigned guardianship of until she came of age, he could swear he heard his mother's crying. Charlie felt a chill go down his back at the sense of déjà vu; she would always cry for at least a week after Bella would leave to go back to her mother's side. But that would be the last time that Bella would return for four years. And somehow, where ever she was, his mother had known that.

For the next eighteen months he went along with his life as if Renee, and consequently Bella, were nothing but a bad dream. He pretended he knew what was going on in her life so that he could answer inquiries from his friends and co-workers about her. He never phoned, and neither did she. And then he got that fateful call that knocked his world upside down once again. He dropped everything to go to Phoenix and what he found broke his heart: Bella was indeed his daughter, and he might never be able to gain her trust again.

He had undeniably and irrevocably fucked up; there was no other way to put it. He ruined the relationship with his only living relative, his own flesh and blood. There was no one to blame but himself, his own foolish pride and stubborn nature the root cause. His only comfort was that his parents were not alive to see what all he had done to their grandchild; they saw some things but not everything. Bella always kept her mouth shut about the things going on with her parents, and he suspected it was so that it wouldn't hurt his mother. Children are selfless like that. Ten lifetimes would not be enough time for him to make up for all the shit he put his daughter through. He spent the remaining years from then on trying to build a relationship with her, but it was just impossible from that distance. He was too ashamed to speak to anyone about what he done, too many secrets still needed kept. Bella avoided him like the plague and refused to come back during the summers, or allow him to visit her. He couldn't blame her; it was the least he deserved. The whole situation screamed of a much more tragic version of 'Cats in the Cradle'.

When he had found out that she was coming back to live with him he was beyond ecstatic. But the smile he was wearing while he waited for her plane to taxi and empty was wiped off his face when he saw her from a distance. She trudged along, melancholy eyes on her dragging feet, as if she was pulling a semi-truck behind her. He could tell she was dreading coming back, back to him. He could only figure that he was the lesser of the two evils in her life.

He made his way upstairs. After changing into his civilian uniform of jeans and a flannel shirt, he pulled the cord in the hallway to open the attic hatch. He had to wipe his eyes after the two-minute sneezing fit brought on by the swirling dust that his presence elicited. He surveyed the contents of the cramped space. He would take Bella's advice and just show her what she meant to him.

One small gesture at a time.

With a deep sigh, he went to the closest box and got started.

A/N Thanks for reading!

Oh, I'm not even going to pretend I know Quileute, English continues to prove a challenge at thirty-something, but the translation I found is: yali.l = kill

Some great stories to check out:

Iris by dragonfly76 - Jake/Bella

Part of the Pack by evieeden - Bella/wolf

Everything Goes by August Shaffer - Bella/Jake

Poison and Wine by Iamtwilightobsessed-MP - Jared/Bella

From Rags to Riches by Kiki-rosa - Sam/Bella


	7. Chapter 6: Cold Shoulders

A/N - Me no own. Thanks to my beta August Shaffer and to pre-readers Feebes86 & Mist.

Sorry its been a little while, but RL happens. Thanks to all the reviews and favs and follows. They keep me motived.

Chapter 6: Cold Shoulders

**PPOV**

Fallen tree. Boulder. River. Another fallen tree. _Fuck! This is boring._

I made one more loop around the reservation before my patrol was over, my lupine form running between the trees at impossible speeds with amazing agility. As I passed the area of the treaty line closest to the Cullen compound, I fought the urge to sneeze. That god-awful smell never got better, no matter how many times we passed by. Not sure if it was the fucking bloodsuckers themselves or the number of their coven that got to me so bad. Always made me want to find a pile of bear shit to put my muzzle in. Overkill? Sure, it would stink, but it wouldn't burn my nostrils like the putrid, sickly sweet, bleach scent of a vampire did. It was worse if we actually had to meet with them. Not only would the smell get to me, but I would have to literally dig my claws in the ground so my wolf wouldn't attack them. Mainly the copper-topped ass jockey, who could read people's thoughts, irked me the most. I couldn't place exactly what it was about him, but I was certain if I ever caught him by himself, I would kill him.

Fucking vampires thought they were entitled to camp outside of our tribe's door just because they were able to deceive some of our ancestors of their passive behavior. They knew what their presence did, activating the curse of our tribe. Turning a bunch of kids into warriors, and robbing them of what was left of their fucking childhood. Forever chaining them to the reservation. Nine lives were a small price to pay for a few years convenience in their eternity apparently. _Cocksuckers, every last one of them!_

After Collin and Brady came to relieve me I made my way back home for a shower. I was being forced to go for a last-minute bonfire. I fucking hated being mandated into doing anything. I actually had the night off for a change, so I had plans to get drunk and to get balls deep on the first willing pussy that presented itself to me tonight. But one fucking Alpha order changed all that, or at least delayed it.

Even though my Mom taught me far better, I used women. I couldn't help it. The area was packed with those who needed a real man between their thighs. Any given day, I would have at least five females throw themselves at me, panting like bitches in heat. Cougars, cheerleaders, honor students, housewives, virgins and whores all came to me to scratch their itches. I was very good at it and enjoyed my work very well. But I wasn't an idiot, no matter what Jared might think. I was careful: always wrapping my dick and screening for potential jailbait, as the wolf vision detected the false IDs, and I could usually always scent out those lying about their age. Anyway, pretty sure the wolfy super immune system would prevent me getting any STDs.

Crabs, unfortunately, were a different matter entirely. _Fucking Lauren Mallory!_

The real obstacle for me was avoiding my conquests after I fucked them, if you could call them that with the little effort I had to put forth. Jared called me 'Lightning', as I never hit the same place twice. I wouldn't bring them to my house, and I made sure to never go to sleep at theirs. Paul Lahote does not snuggle, cuddle, or any other thing remotely similar to it! Yeah, yeah. I'm a fucking, womanizing asshole. But the way I see it is if you don't get too close, you can't get hurt. And each and every pussy I have fucked has been informed of EXACTLY where they stood before hand. Not my damn fault they forget the words somewhere between nodding their heads in agreement and shaking their heads in ecstasy.

I had gotten hold of some of Old Quil's shine. (Actually, I traded patrol with Quil for it so he could get to the bonfire early.) It was basically lighter fluid, but had the advantage of being one of the few things that could knock a werewolf on their ass. And I was going to do that today. I found pack events painful on the best of days, for which today was not. The sickly sweet way the others looked at their imprints made me want to fucking hurl. The pride pouring out of the elders eyes as they looked at their children and grandchildren just added to my ire. There was nothing good about this goddamn curse. Well, maybe the speed, but that was it. My enhanced physique was nice and all, but I had been making the opposite sex cum since I was fourteen.

I wasn't swayed by the elders dreamy-eyed talk that this was all a huge gift, my destiny and shit like that. Nothing was secret, every thought out there for the pack to hear and feel. Although, I was pretty good at hiding my thoughts, better than our Alpha, Sam, or baby-Alpha Jake. My main area of contention? I was stuck in this hell hole for the rest of my unnatural damn life. This place held bad memories of my mother dying shortly after she moved me and my sibling, Max, back to the reservation after my piece of shit father skipped out on us back in Tacoma. It was just as well he left; he only came around to beat me. I would always provoke him so he would come after me instead of the others. And I had every intention of going after his sorry ass when I got old enough, before I fucking started turning into a giant fur ball of course. I may yet go after him; the Spirits owe me.

Today was actually the anniversary of my mother's death, hence the need to forget.

After drinking half the bottle of Old Quil's shine, I leisurely made my way to First Beach. I wasn't drunk, but rather had a nice buzz going on. I arrived at the beach to find a show. Apparently, Quil was getting ready to throw some chick in the ocean. I couldn't get a good look at her as Quil marched to the water, but I sure as fuck could hear her. Her banshee wailing continued until the ocean's water cut her off. Figuring the show was over, I turned to say something to Jared. When I heard her practically growl at Quil when she came back up for air, I could feel my dick twitch. She was pissed! And for the first time since turning wolf, I wondered if a human could actually harm one of us.

Curiosity got the best of me and I asked who she was, to which Jake answered lowly, "Bella Swan."

Ah, so this was the girl Quil, Jake, and Embry had been looking forward to coming back to town. I guess she was related to Old Quil's late wife and was therefore a distant cousin to Quil and Jake. Embry, I hope, was not related to her, because the daydreams he had on our last patrol together of her sucking his cock off were way too fucking hot to be tainted with the thought of cuzin'-lovin'. Who knew the douche had it in him?

Her dad was Charlie Swan, and I had always felt Chief Swan was hiding something. Before my first phase, I would call it a gut feeling, the fact he never mentioned her, at least not in my presence. Plus, he always seemed to dislike me for some reason, and that only grew when I started acting out after my Mom died and found myself in the backseat of his cruiser several times. I saw him and thought instantly of my old man, and that didn't win him any respect from me. I had met Helen Swan a few times before her death, and even the young, pre-teen me could feel the tension between the mother and son. He was hiding something, and if he had earned the disapproval of his mother, it couldn't be good.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the feeling of eyes on me. Female eyes. Wanting to give my little voyeur more to see, I slowly turned around, deliberately rolling my abs and flexing my pecs.

I could only see above her shoulders, as she was several yards in the ocean. Although I couldn't tell the color, I could tell she had a dark hair, pulled back in some sort of braid. Her skin was pale, much lighter than my own russet tone. She was obviously freezing cold in the water she was fighting at the moment, the goosebumps were easy to see with my wolf vision. When I met her dark brown eyes, the same color as chocolate, I noticed they were hooded in lust. She was completely eye-fucking me. I cursed the water she was in, because I couldn't help wonder what her arousal smelt like.

She obviously was enjoying what she was seeing. When she caught my smirk at catching her, she smiled back at me. _Well, well, well. _Looks like I found me some pussy for the evening.

I licked my lips in anticipation. And to think, I wasn't planning on showing up.

The view of my prey was suddenly obstructed by Embry's lithe frame. "Did you?" he demanded.

I was completely clueless to what he was speaking about, but could clearly see he was pissed. "What?"

"Did you fucking imprint on her?" Why the fuck would he ask me that? I was just in the right mood to fuck with him, but before I could answer him my train of thought was diverted. I heard the little hellcat sic Old Quil's dog on Quil. In fucking Quileute! My fucking cock definitely jumped at that. Taha Aki, I was actually a little disappointed I hadn't imprinted on her.

At first Quil stood still, not fearing injury should the dog actually attack him, but then Sam ordered him to play along and act like he was scared of the dog. Truth be told, he actually was at least apprehensive of it. Most animals gave us a wide berth, dogs being no exception. However, Jax, as I think he was called, didn't seem to give a shit that we phased into massive fucking wolves. We were at the top of the fucking food chain, not that we were going to eat dogs. Even grizzlies turned tail and ran from us in human form, but this pup treated us the same as any other human. Strange.

As the majority of the group watched dog chase dog, I watched one furious little tiger make her way out of the water. She was five foot, five inches and looked like she may have been a hundred and ten pounds soaking wet. Despite her being on the thin side, she had curves in all the right places. Her hips had just the right amount of flare and I couldn't wait to bury my head, or hell my cock, in the valley of those fucking C-cups. I caught the scent of strawberries and vanilla that damn near made my mouth water. The smell of brine stuck to her from her recent bath, and I also caught a faint smell of mildew and ... cleaners?

She didn't spare anyone a glance, just marched over to Old Quil. I heard her growl for the fire to be lit or he wouldn't get any pie for a damn month. Gonna trust that wasn't an euphemism for something else, but I would gladly take whatever she was serving.

I was pulled from my voyeurism by a low, menacing growl. I smirked at the murderous glare Embry was giving me.

"No, was I supposed to?" I answered his earlier question. I looked up to see most of the pack staring at me curiously, even the elders were discreetly watching our conversation.

Jake walked in between us. "We were kind of hoping someone would. We can't tell her the secrets unless someone does, and she is supposed to start school in Forks in August." I heard Embry growl again and I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in silent question to Jake. He shook his head and then just shrugged his shoulders.

Poor Embry, he didn't get a Swan to make ugly ducklings with.

I could hear Sam update the elders about the lack of imprint; Billy looked particularly disappointed about it.

"Well, I've already told you guys I don't want an imprint," I growled.

"Taha Aki is not sadistic enough to give you one." Jake quipped, slugging my shoulder.

"No, he just doesn't want all of you dicks to get jealous with the three women it would take to keep me satisfied," I smirked.

"Just leave her alone. I'm trying to keep her on the rez as much as possible. She's more of a sister to me than Rach or Becca ever were. If you fuck her and ditch her like we all know you will, she will feel awkward and will try to avoid you, and therefore us. You have all of Washington and Vancouver for your fucking pleasure. Just leave this one girl alone," Jake pleaded.

"Fine," I snarled. "But I get to borrow the Sprint for the next two weekends." A look of uncontrolled terror spread across his face. Jake had a Harley Sprint that he had saved from the scrap pile and fixed up. It was kick-ass, and I had tried to get him to sell it several times, to no avail. My compliance of being forced into yet another fucking thing was going to come at a price. I mentally began to catalogue all the places within a day's drive.

"You better fucking leave her alone is all I have to say." He seethed as he walked back toward the fire.

A short time later, we were allowed to finally eat. As usual, the ladies and elders had first dibs, but then the wolves descended. It was always comical watching someone observe our appetites for the first time, and Bella did not disappoint. She had a look that teetered between awe and disgust as she watched us devour the food in front of us, sometimes not even bothering to chew. Okay, so the metabolism and lack of indigestion was definitely another perk of the wolf.

After the carnage was cleaned up, Bella politely asked Emily for a recipe and did some small talk for a moment before moseying her way over to me.

"Hi. I don't think we've met. I'm Bella," she said with a warm smile on her face. Although she was clearly checking me out earlier, she seemed perfectly at ease now, raising a hand for me to shake.

"Paul." I said noncommittally through a mouthful of my cookie, wishing she'd get the fucking hint and move along.

"Kaayyy," she drolled, rolling her eyes in indignation and dropping her hand. She turned to ignore me and watch the fire, its reflection dancing in her expressive eyes. After a while she closed them, acting like she was meditating or something.

"I've been told to keep my distance." I shut my eyes at my fucking word vomit. Why did I feel compelled to explain myself?

She gave me a skeptical look out of the corner of eyes, and I noticed her eyes meet Leah's contemptuous stare from across the fire. She gave a humorless laugh and nodded her head. "Okay."

"So, don't consider me rude." _Shut the fuck up, Lahote! _I could hear Sam and Jared's amusement at my lack of filter. However, Jake and Embry were anything but amused. Jake fished his keys out of his pocket and jangled them, chastising me to back the fuck off. I was trying!

"Okay."

"You could at least acknowledge me," I seethed. I wasn't sure why she was getting under my skin so bad.

"If you let others dictate whom you should speak to, that's your business. I'm not going to force you to speak to me and I won't lose any sleep if you don't. Telling me that only made yourself feel better, and make me think you don't have any damn balls." _ Oh no, she didn't just go there!_

"Your kind of a bitch, aren't you?" I replied rhetorically. She just shrugged her shoulders and went back to studying the blue flames of the fire.

After a while, she looked around until she noticed Leah sitting on Quil's lap. I noticed as astonishment crossed her face, and then she quickly masked her surprise. Shaking her head slightly, she breathed out an almost silent, "Figures he'd be seduced by the Dark Side."

"They've been together about three months." Again, I felt compelled to fill the silence. _Moron!_

"That's too bad."

"Why? You don't know her? Maybe they are good together," I lied. Leah was a complete bitch, and I theorized that Quil must have killed someone in a former life to have imprinted on her. I had the misfortune of fucking her once while she was wallowing after Sam left her for Emily. The sex wasn't memorable, but I definitely recalled the regret of both Sam and Quil beating the shit out of me when they found out.

"Please," she scoffed. "I spent every summer growing up here. Flower was always a fucking bitch, rivaled only by Jake's sisters." Bella looked over to where Leah was sitting. The cunt was staring at us unabashedly, trying unsuccessfully to shoot laser beams through her eyes at Bella. Bella merely smiled wryly and gave her a wink. I had no doubt that if females had the ability to phase, Leah would be a snarling piece of fur at the moment. Thank fuck for small favors because if I had to share a pack mind with the cunt, I would fucking kill myself. Turning to look back at me Bella smiled, "Yeah, same old bitch, just a different day." I had to applaud her bluntness. Most girls tried to be either the girl next door or the hooker down the street around people they didn't know. She didn't seem to give a flying fuck about pretenses.

"Flower?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

She chuckled, "Yeah, a nickname I have for her. Pretty, huh? You should start calling her that." I could hear Seth growling at her from where he sat next to Leah. However, Quil was chucking along with Jake and Embry, while Jared and Sam looked as confused as me.

"Well," she said as she rose to her feet, brushing the sand off that spectacular ass of hers. "It was nice not getting to know you. I'd say I'll see you 'round but ... you know." Her tone was mirthful, but her dark eyes belied the playfulness she was trying to portray. I thought about shaking her hand as I had so rudely refused to earlier, but my lameness meter started going off and saved me the embarrassment.

As she walked past me, she tousled my short hair, like a dog. Fuck if I didn't have to swallow a purr that threatened to slip out, as in my head my wolf was laying on his back, begging her to stroke our stomach. It took real restraint not to watch her walk away, as I could just imagine the view of her ass sashaying away from me. I tried to discreetly adjust the semi in my cutoffs, but in my peripheral vision I caught the death glare Embry was giving me. I couldn't figure why the fuck he was mad. I had set off to blow her off, and instead I'm the one who ended up feeling dismissed. _Fuck! How did I grow a vagina in the span of an hour?_

Munching on a bag of delicious cookies I swiped at dinner, I listened for the rest of the night as she talked to Jake and Embry. She gave the couples a wide berth, which I found funny. Leah kept glaring at her, silently screaming 'Keep the fuck away' but looking oddly offended that Bella was ignoring her so completely. Quil seemed saddened by his imprint's hostility, but was otherwise preoccupied in an animated argument with Jared about the pros and cons of the designated hitter in baseball. This is why some people had to imprint! They would NEVER get laid otherwise. _Fucking idiotic bastards!_

After a while, Billy and Old Quil actually started telling the legends, at least the public versions of them. This shocked me, but Jake saw my bewilderment and said too low for human ears that she had heard them all before, and for us not to share tonight might seem odd to her. Seemed weird to me, but this clearly fell in the 'I don't give a flying fuck' category. Bella sat and listened intently to all the stories, occasionally looking around every now and then to gauge others reactions to them.

After the stories were over, she started getting ready to leave, giving Old Quil and Billy a hug. When she offered to take Old Quil home, Billy was quick to say he and Jake would do that, much to Old Quil's relief. Apparently, there was a story there. Quil pried himself from Leah to go give her a hug, and Jake tried to squeeze the shit out of her with one of his lame bear hugs. I chuckled when Embry got an awkward, one-armed hug. He was cemented in the friend-zone, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

Apparently Old Quil had given the dog to Bella as a gift, as she mentioned she would be back tomorrow to get him. When she stooped down to say goodbye to the mutt, he rolled over on his back so she could rub his stomach. My wolf snarled at that, and tried to get me to rip the dog out from under her hand and take its place. I have been reduced to being jealous of a dog. A fucking dog!

Sighing heavily, I did a mental face palm. Yeah, avoiding Bella Swan was fucking worth a hell of a lot more than the Sprint for two weekends!

A/N Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 7: Kitchen-Aids and Milk-Bones

_A/N - __Thanks to AugustShaffer, feebes86, and Mist for their time and support. _I own nothing related to Twilight. SM owns her characters, but I'd like to think Jax is mine. ;D _Any errors are my own._

**Chapter 7: Kitchen-Aids and Milk-Bones**

_Song: Shake It Out by Florence and The Machines_

_BPOV_

_I had been walking in the woods, Jack and Jasmine for once not in tow, when I got lost. After walking for what seemed to be hours and hours, the forest grew impossibly dark. The sun had finally sunk into the horizon that I couldn't see, and I tripped along blindly for several more hours. I crumbled by a log, after I succumbed to fatigue. I assured myself that it was only to rest for a few minutes. I was worried that Gran would be upset because I had been gone so long. _

_When I could feel the warmth on my cheeks and see the faint light behind my eyelids, I made to open my eyes but could only see a blinding light ahead of me. __ I immediately cringed; the soft light of the room was downright painful to me. I took a deep breath to quell my harsh breathing. My head felt like someone was trying to open it with a jack hammer; a high-pitched sound was ringing in my ears. I cautiously tried to open my eyes again and when the blurry fog lifted, I instantly remembered where I was and why I was here._

_I turned my line of sight to the left and saw Charlie lounging in a chair, looking like he was having the worst night sleep of his life. His expression was stoic and his face looked unusually pale, making the stubble on his face much more noticeable. He wasn't in his uniform, thank God, but he was in a long-sleeved, flannel shirt and jeans. Yeah, because that isn't going to make you stand out in Phoenix at all, even in January._

_The loss of Gran almost two years before had been particularly hard on me, and I couldn't help but wish that she was the one sitting beside me. I would be able to talk to her, but not Charlie. Why was he even here? If he was alone in a room with me, he might actually have to acknowledge that I exist. I hadn't heard a goddamn word from him in a year and a half!_

_Looking down, I saw he had an iron grip on my left hand, the alien feel of his touch sending a shiver down my spine. The urge to jerk it free tore through me with a vengeance. He had no right to such familial intimacy. But trepidation of waking him if I severed our link stilled my hand._

_I looked down at my right arm, wincing at the sight of the unnatural color of it. It was still in a brace until the swelling went down enough to put the cast..._

Waking suddenly, I opened my watery eyes to stare at the popcorn ceiling, feeling a few tears slide their way to the pillow beneath my head. _Damn it! _I left fucking Phoenix; I left all of it! I shouldn't have to be reminded of anything in my dreams.

Weren't dreams supposed to be filled with fantasies and possibilities? Dreams were a place where Jesse Metcalfe was always caught in sprinklers on a constant loop, a pair of dripping boxers taunting me as they hid what was at the end of his pleasure trail. Or a place where you could pretend eighties hairstyles or seventies music never happened. Perhaps you could dream that someone smothered Jerry Springer in his sleep before he had the chance to start the whole 'Give me my fifteen minutes of fame' phenomenon. _Bastard!_

Why was I being subjected to this shit, these memories? This was just one of the many episodes of my cluster-fuck of a life that I would rather die than to relive. I was sure it had to do with the sight I was met with last night after I came home. Charlie was playing century in his recliner, obviously waiting for me. It seemed like he wanted to act like a father now. Laughable. Curious, as there was no one left to watch his performance. He would always do the bare minimum for Gran's benefit when I was growing up and, hell, he deserved an Oscar compared to Renee's abilities.

All I had to do was survive the next six months. Six fucking months! And then I would be free to do what I wanted. I wouldn't have to live with a man who had done nothing but show his absolute indifference of me for a decade and a half.

Really the only thing keeping me here now was a sense of duty to Gran; say goodbye to her before I left the western U.S. for the rest of my life. I would never go west of the Rockies again, if I could help it. There was no reason to. Sure, I would miss people in La Push. But I had always been only a transient fixture in their lives over the years. They would get along just fine without me, just as they had done in recent years. And although I know now that they didn't know what had been going on in my life, they still didn't actually try to find out either. Out of sight, out of mind. They would forget about Bella Swan within a week. And if they did try to find me, they wouldn't. I had every intention of changing my name the first chance I got; I wasn't a Swan. Hell, I didn't have a fucking clue who I was.

Anyway, Gran would have wanted me to get the diploma. Although I was beginning to wonder if I really shouldn't just pack a duffel bag and head east, I know that stupid slip of paper would make getting a job easier. How bad could a few months with the sperm donor be, really? I had already been to hell and back several times over. This was a fucking cake walk. _Mmmm, cake. Must find food._

Dragging myself out of bed, I quickly checked to make sure Charlie was gone. My headache and the dream had me agitated, and I wouldn't be able to keep up the needed level of indifference with him, once I saw him. Anyway, I wanted Jax here if there was going to be any fireworks. Charlie had never hit me, but he had a temper. I had always been meek and invisible around him, but now I wasn't going to pull any punches. I wasn't stupid enough to hit him, but I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't throw something. Jax would help keep things in check I thought.

Remembering Jax's antics made chuckle as I went about my morning routine. His chasing Quil was priceless. I might not be able to harm those behemoth cousins of mine, but my little personal Cujo could. _Mwahahah!_

When I had returned from the bonfire last night, I found Charlie had made good on my demand for the kitchen furniture to be brought down from the attic. It looked like he had even tried to clean them, because the fact that they now had no dust on them after five years in the attic, just did not compute.

I had gone upstairs shortly after returning last night, soothed my achy muscles in a hot bath, and then crashed in one of the best night's sleep of my life. The fuck-hot Paul starred in my dreams most of last night, even though he had turned out to be a disappointment in real life, basically telling me to get lost at the bonfire. I rebounded well, I thought, although I really had to concentrate on not jumping his ass while I sat next to him. I finally had to retreat and go talk to Jake and Embry.

Embry was going to prove to be a problem, as he seemed more than willing to start something with me. Years ago I would have jumped at the opportunity, but now I couldn't do that to him. I wasn't staying; I was leaving, before Christmas if I got my way, and he was too good of a guy and friend to give the wrong idea. Not that I wanted to give anyone false hope of a relationship that would never happen.

That had been the allure of Paul, besides the many, many obvious other reasons. I practically swooned when he smirked at me while I was in the ocean. He looked delicious, and I could tell he was the love 'em and leave 'em type. He was the quintessential bad boy that Gran had never got the chance to warn me about. I would only be another notch on his bedpost and he would go on to the next piece of ass on his list, forgetting that I ever existed. Strangely, I was okay with that. Did it make me a slut? Possibly, but I couldn't be bothered to care. All I knew was that I felt more alive in that one minute treading water, surveying his chiseled body, than I had in all of my almost nineteen years.

But it appeared I didn't stack up to his expectations, or Leah had more clout than I figured in the group. Shudder at the thought. The rejection was short lived, as I rallied my inner-bitch and caught up with the others. I could feel his eyes on me all night, but I kept firm to my mandate to ignore him. If I wasn't worth his time, he wasn't worth mine.

Walking into the kitchen, I poured a cup of coffee with Paul still on my mind. Of course, just because I didn't get the live show, didn't mean I couldn't use him for my 'alone' time._ Yummy!_

I had only done a cursory glance in the kitchen last night before my retreat upstairs, so I didn't notice until this morning, that Charlie had also brought many of her pans and canisters down as well. He had placed them on the table. The morning light shone from the window, illuminating the table as if the heavens were saying 'Look here, Bella.' That is when I noticed my Gran's red, Kitchen-Aid mixer, the crème de la crème of all kitchen appliances. He had kept this modern marvel in the attic? _Sacrilege!_ That was a fucking culinary crime! Didn't they teach cops anything?

Gran had received the shiny gift her last Christmas. The Atearas, Blacks, and Charlie had all pitched in together to get her the standup mixer. To this day, I'm not sure who was more excited about it, me or her. We had spent the rest of my visit going through the little book of suggested uses and recipes. We made each recipe in the book that we could and several of Gran's favorites. Both of us were in awe at how well it worked. We made a list of all the attachments she needed for it, and she promised we would use it to make pasta when I visited over the summer.

We talked a lot about going into business together. We loved cooking, so obviously it would revolve around food. A bakery, catering business, or a little tea room were our favorite options. I could bake almost anything; I had better luck than Gran even. She wanted a little antique store that had a tea room operating in it a few days a week. I would make all the desserts and Gran would be in charge of running the antique store. We would serve sandwiches, wraps, soups, and salads until we ran out of food for the day. I liked the idea of a bookstore a little better with a tea room, but hey, I was flexible.

It didn't matter though now. I had buried that dream when I buried Gran. It would take years, if not decades, to come up with the cash to start a business. I didn't have a cent to my name except for the couple hundred bucks that I had saved for several years from Renee's clutches. I guess I could always try to seduce a banker into giving me a business loan, but unfortunately Gran taught me better than that. _Damn it!_

So now that I'm in one hell of a shitty mood this morning, I remember that I need to find a fucking job. _Perfect!_

After cleaning the kitchen again and putting all of the stuff Charlie had brought down into either the island or baker's rack, I moved on to dusting and cleaning the entire house except for his room. _Not going to happen!_ The windows sparkled, the floors shined, and I used enough Febreeze to finally get the damn smell of stale beer out of the fabrics and air. Unfortunately, the bathroom was so hauntingly disgusting I knew a had new nightmare material for tonight. I had to open the tiny window in the shower, because the toxic level of the fumes was getting to me and exasperate my already bad headache.

I started to clean some in my room, but instead decided that I should run a few errands. I needed supplies for Jax before I picked him up later today. I had already made sure to open and clean out the dog door on the back door. I also needed to change the quilt on my bed to something that Gran hadn't hand-stitched herself.

And, of course, I still needed to find gainful employment. Fuck my life.

**_~B of L~_**

"Look Mr. Newton. If my employment is contingent with you speaking with the Chief, then I don't think this is going to work. I'm punctual, honest, and friendly." _Keep a straight face. Keep a straight face._ "Either you hire me for my merits, and not my father's position, or don't hire me at all."

I was standing inside the owner's office of Newton's Outfitters, attempting to get a job. I had checked a few bakeries, but they didn't have any openings and I hadn't thought to make any brownies before going. I blamed the state of the current migraine assaulting me for my lack of preparation. Oh well, I would have ate all of my culinary creations anyway. _I know, I know, sour grapes._

I was starting to get scared that I might have to actually wait tables. _All those broken dishes and coffee scorched laps!_ When I was discussing my plans for the summer, Old Quil suggested I should get a job at Sue Clearwater's diner. The livid expression I caught in the corner of my eye that she shot him told me the likelihood of that happening. She couldn't help she was a bitch; she was her daughter's mother. I'd be one too if I had given birth to the anti-Christ.

Luckily, I passed by Newton's and thought, _'What the hell'_. I had spent enough time camping and running around the woods to be helpful in the store. Mr. Newton seemed like a nice enough guy. He had a little bit of a beer gut but an otherwise decent physique for his age. His demeanor was unassuming and pleasant, and it appeared you got what you saw with him, which I appreciated. My only annoyance was that he wanted to speak with Charlie before hiring me. Of course, that shit didn't fly well with me, at all.

I looked at him again and he gave me a satisfied smile and nodded his head, apparently impressed with my response. "Okay, you come in Monday afternoon at twelve-thirty and we will see how it goes. We can work out a schedule after that. Will that work?"

"Yes, thank you. Monday afternoon sounds good." At least I could attempt to sleep in and then avoid Charlie in the evening. _Sold! _However, I still had all day tomorrow at the house alone with him.

I made my way to the reservation after that, my mood surprisingly lifting as I crossed the borders. Jax was extremely happy to see me. I made Old Quil some lunch, and as if they had a sixth sense for food, Jake and Billy showed up. I quickly doubled my portions in the hopes that I could feed us all, because Jake ate more than the other three of us combined. I was astounded last night at the amount of food he and his friends could put away. It wasn't normal, not that I had ever thought Jake and Quil were normal. Perhaps it was a teenage male thing, but I suspected it was something more.

Although I had a good time at the bonfire, I just couldn't shake the nagging sense that something was ... off. First, there was the disturbing food massacre that I witnessed. Next, it was the physiques and high body heat of all the guys. Not that I was complaining, they were all drop dead gorgeous. But unless you are putting steroids in the drinking water, the likelihood of so many guys being that big just didn't make sense. And what was with the heat? They should be dead with the temperatures it felt like they were running. But it did prove useful in the chilly air last night, being sandwiched between them.

Next, the way everyone listened to the stories was extremely unusual. The last bonfire I went to with Gran, probably five or so years ago, we had heard the legends as well. However, this time everyone listened with a reverence that you didn't get from teenage boys and young men unless exotic dancers were involved. Seriously! Even the adults seemed to have a renewed sense of pride in the stories. They were great stories and I had always loved them, but I didn't see what could have changed so damn much in five years. Except my cup size. And the guys too for that matter. *wink*

Lastly, it was the couples. They down-right sickened and scared me at the same time. I mean, what the fuck! The level of adoration and love coming off of them was staggering. And it wasn't lust, although I did see that too. It was 'can't live without you, let's grow old together' L O V E. My discomfort was more than the smidgen of jealousy I might have because they possessed what I clearly never had, and probably never would. It was also in the unnerving way that they seemed to gravitate and move together, as if each person in the couple were an extension of the other. When one moved, the other immediately compensated their position. They seemed to be in constantly touching each other, not necessarily groping , but as if there was an unconscious fear that if they lost contact the other one would vanish. _Freaky!_

And don't even get me started on the Leah/Quil abomination. I knew all that mud he ate as a kid was going to fuck him up. _Idiot!_

About three in the afternoon, Jax and I made our way back to the house. I unloaded all of my purchases into my room and then gave Jax the tour of his new home. I showed him the dog door and the rooms of the house. He had free reign except for in the kitchen and bathroom, because ewww. I took him walking outside on the trails behind the house, reminiscing of all the times I had walked the same paths with his grandparents, Jack and Jasmine. He needed to bond with his new environment and mark his territory. I was scouting a place to put a hammock, but was a little apprehensive of putting one in the tree line. I had always wanted one here, and I could offer the squirrels entertainment with trying to get in and out of it.

I decided to take a quick shower before I started making some dinner. I had just put on my clothes and was pulling a brush through my wet hair when I heard all hell break loose downstairs. "BELLLLAAAAAA!"

I tore down the stairs, damn near falling, and turned the corner on the landing to see Charlie below, plastered against the front door with a snarling Jax only a foot in front of him. I saw Charlie's hand twitch toward his gun holster and Jax let loose a feral growl. The unadulterated fear pouring out of Charlie was palpable; I highly suspected that Charlie was close to pissing himself, if he hadn't already.

_My God, I love this dog! _

Trying to keep a callous smirk off my face, I leisurely finished descending the stairs and walked beside Jax, securely gripping his collar.

"What the hell is that?" Charlie screamed with a petrified look on his face. Clearly, Charlie was not a dog person. _Oh, this is too good!_

Jax did not take kindly to Charlie's raised voice in my presence and a low, guttural growl tore through his chest, and I pulled back on his collar in an effort to restrain him. His teeth were bared menacingly, and the fur on his back was standing straight up. If I was a truly evil and vengeful person, I could give one command and then no more Charlie, but unfortunately, patricide was not my style. X-lax brownies were a more satisfying revenge, even if served warm, and I was definitely the bigger person, figuratively speaking, between the two of us. _Morality is such a burden._

"Well, this is a dog. I'm surprised you don't know what they are. Law enforcement is known to employ them from time to time," I spoke in a slow, even, patronizing tone that Charlie clearly didn't appreciate. I wanted to release Jax's collar so I could give my explanation, complete with Vanna White gestures as if he was a shiny, red convertible, but thought that might not be prudent at the moment.

"Why is it here?" Jax growled again.

"HE lives here," I snapped back. I was getting annoyed at his attitude to my pup. Not like he had never seen one in this house before.

"Where did you get him?" Charlie questioned, looking a little repentant.

"The stork dropped him off. The basket and blue blanket are in my room now," I chuckled.

"Bella," he admonished.

"Fine, he is a gift from Old Quil and his name is Jax. Don't worry, I'll take care of him." I so terribly wanted to tack on 'because you wouldn't know how to take care of anything but yourself' but refrained. No need to state the obvious.

I gave Jax the Quileute command to back off, to which he quickly obeyed and sat on his haunches. I moved my hand to start rubbing his ears, helping him to relax under my touch. Charlie's eyes widened at my use of the language, probably just figuring out how precarious his situation really was. He slowly peeled himself from the door and cautiously walked around us, keeping his eyes glued to the young canine. However, Jax still growled as he passed, sending Charlie scurrying up the stairs to his room as if the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels.

I laughed to myself and walked into the pantry and got one of the Milk-Bones I had purchased earlier in the day. Knelling down, I rubbed Jax's ears and gave him a big hug. Awarding him with his treat, I winked at him and giggled, "Jax, my boy, is it too soon in our relationship to tell you, I love you?"

_A/N Thanks for reading! __Thanks to all those that have favorited or are following this story. It makes me super happy! _

_Promise some more Paul next chapter_

A few recommendations:

Just A Cup Of Sugar by silver drip - Bella/Carlisle

Shifting Tides by otherwolder81- Sam/Bella

Intensity by mama4dukes - Paul/Bella

Turn of Fate by DomesticGoddessMT - Bella/Volturi

Tiger Stripes by juliangelus - Jasper/Bella


	9. Chapter 8: Lion or Lamb

_A/N Many thanks to AugustShaffer, feebes86, and Mist for their help. Apologies to all for the delay in posting this, but I have been ill for several weeks. To help make up for it, here is a 6K word chapter. Enjoy!_

_Last time: "Jax, my boy, is it too soon in our relationship to tell you, I love you?"_

Chapter 8: Lion or Lamb

Songs: I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack and Outta My Head by Daughtry

**_~B of L~_**

BPOV

Not surprising, I didn't see Charlie for the rest of the evening. I made dinner while gracelessly dancing around to some music on my iPod. When dinner was done, I quickly ate and rinsed my plate off in the sink. On my way to my room, I let Charlie know his dinner was warming in the oven. He just grunted an okay from the safety of his room, and I quickly brushed my teeth and got ready for bed.

I was placing the blankets for Jax at the end of my bed on the floor, while he took in his surroundings, sniffing around the room while his tail wagged happily. In my peripheral, I noticed him stop dead in his tracks, his long bushy tail stopping mid-wag, and he gave a small yip. Turning to see what clue Scooby had found, I smiled at the irony. Jax was sniffing at where my secret hiding place had been, completely forgotten for almost five years. "Jinkies, boy. What did you find?" He looked up and gave me a curious look, complete with doggy head tilt.

Stooping down, I pried the board of the hardwood floor loose that hid all my treasures of my childhood. "Good, boy!" I exclaimed while rubbing one of the dog's ears. His tail just swooshed back and forth furiously and his tongue lolled in a happy canine grin, obviously quite pleased with himself. Chuckling, I stuck my arm down to grab blindly at whatever was in reach. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as my fingers grasped an envelope that I knew I had not left.

Pulling the mystery item out, I stared in disbelief at my name written in my Gran's elegant scroll. Sitting down on the floor heavily against the bed, I carefully opened the envelope with trembling fingers to find a letter dated about a week before Gran died. She had died of a sudden brain aneurism, but I was told she had felt poorly for several weeks before that.

**_My Dearest Isabella,_**

**_I know you never knew that I had a clue where this cubby was. I didn't want to intrude on your privacy, so I never looked. Obviously, I had to put this letter and a few gifts in here, and I only have one question: A Playboy? Don't worry, I love you no matter what._**

I couldn't help the nervous snort that came out of my nose. I'm sure she had done a double take at the Playboy. It was Quil's copy that I had stolen before he could look at it, in retaliation to something he had done to me. I hadn't paid the photos much mind, but I did find the articles entertaining. _Okay, Okay, I looked a little. _All I got from the experience was a hit to my self-esteem and sex tips I would never use.

**_Bella, you have been the biggest joy of my life. My only regret is not fighting for you harder. Unfortunately, the law gives little rights to the grandparents, but please know that if there was anything, anything Bella, that I could have done to keep you from getting on that return flight all those times, I would have._**

**_There are so many things I never got to say to you. So many things I will never get to see you accomplish. Do me one favor and play the second song on the enclosed album? It expresses everything I have ever hoped for you, my dear._**

**_I will always be watching over you._**

**_Love Always,_**

**_Your Gran _**

With shaking hands, I removed the CD out of its jewel case and placed inside the small stereo beside my bed. I closed my eyes and listened to the lyrics as _"I Hope You Dance"_ by Lee Ann Womack started playing softly. I climbed back on my bed and leaned against the headboard, pulling my legs to my chest. By the time the song reached the chorus, tears were streaming down my face.

I missed her so damn much! So many times over the past years I needed her, needed her reassuring hugs and soft words of encouragement like oxygen. If only I would have had this letter. It would have brought me some comfort knowing she was watching over me.

Sensing my pain, Jax completely ignored my orders from earlier in the day about not getting on the furniture, and he jumped onto my bed, nudging against my arms with his cold, wet nose. Engulfing the sweet dog in a fierce hug, I violently sobbed into his warm fur. When my tears ran dry, I turned off the stereo and shut off the bedside lamp. Jax lay down with his head on the pillow beside me, and I cuddled next to him, not caring that he was shedding dog hair in my clean bed. I needed his comfort. We would go back to normal sleeping arrangements tomorrow. _Yeah, I didn't believe it either._

Jax went to sleep quickly and then started to snore lightly. I found it rather soothing and quickly followed him into the blissful land of slumber as well.

The majority of my dreams were not memorable. However, the one that did stick out was of Jax and me walking in the woods. The unnerving part was the little boy from the dream a few days ago was in the woods too. He pranced about fifty yards in front of us from tree to tree, eluding us. He never spoke his name, no matter how many times I had pleaded for him to. When we broke through the trees, we were at Second Beach in La Push but the boy was nowhere to be found.

After waking to Jax licking the tears tracks off my cheeks, I opened the door and was almost knocked down as he bolted downstairs. Mumbling, I dragged myself into the bathroom for a shower, so I could relax after my latest crying jag under the warm, cascading water. This crying shit was getting old. At least no one witnessed this one except Jax, and I was pretty sure he wasn't going to rat me out. Dogs are loyal like that.

After dressing, I made my way downstairs. I found Jax waiting patiently outside of the kitchen, nose lying on his paws as he watched Charlie sitting at the table. Charlie was reading his paper, but every thirty seconds or so he would nervously peer at the waiting canine. _Paranoid, much?_ I guess Jax had spooked him pretty bad last night. However, Jax seemed perfectly at ease this morning, his hostility toward Charlie apparently forgotten. But judging by Charlie's tense behavior, it appeared his memory was a little better.

I had just finished drinking my coffee and was preparing to cook breakfast when Charlie finally spoke, "Why is he waiting in the hall?" His head was facing me but he hadn't taking his eyes off my furry partner in crime.

I found it too early in the morning to mess with him, so I answered honestly. "He is not allowed in the kitchen or bathroom." _Or on the furniture either,_ I thought. No need to make Charlie privy of my already lax rules.

"Good to know. You think he will stick to the rules?" I couldn't keep the smirk off my face as I walked to the counter. A vision of Charlie moving his recliner and flat-screen into the kitchen flashed before my eyes.

"He will if he wants to be fed," I replied over my shoulder as I started pulling items out of the fridge. Charlie only grunted in reply, but I did hear a whine from my pup. Good to see I had my bluff in on him.

"How many biscuits do you want and do you want any gravy?"

Breakfast went well. We both ate our bacon, biscuits and gravy, and scrambled eggs in a comfortable silence. I was amazed at how good the meal turned out considering how quickly I had got it fixed it. I had clipped a coupon for some Pillsbury frozen biscuits to buy. I hadn't held out much hope that they would look like the picture when I pulled the white, frozen, round bricks from the package. I could make good homemade ones, but that took about an hour, and the thought of staying in the kitchen with Charlie that long made me shudder. So, frozen bricks it was, because anything that could limit my time with Charlie was money well spent. Imagine my surprise when I pulled the mouth-watering, golden biscuits out of the oven. And the taste? Hell, I would admit that they were near as good as what I could make from scratch, and I didn't get stuck with a dozen of them when I would only eat two at most.

After breakfast, Charlie thanked me and moved to the living room where I'm sure some sport program awaited him. Jax had remained obediently out of the kitchen, and as a reward I scraped the remaining gravy into his bowl in the mud room. I wouldn't feed him scraps often, but he had been good and I knew he would love it as it was made with bacon drippings.

I made quick work of the dishes and then proceeded to clean the entire kitchen again. The placement of things wasn't right, as I had put things away in stages. So, I rearranged everything so that it was easier for me to reach items often used and to put the sentimental pieces away so they wouldn't get broken. I finished by making sandwiches for lunch and placing them in the fridge.

I went up to my room and grabbed a blanket and a book and went outside to read, because the clouds were grey but not weeping. Jax followed me and lay with me for a little while, but then he made his way back inside. When I came in to start dinner, I peered into the living room to catch my father feeding MY dog a piece of leftover bacon from breakfast. _Arg!_ That shit was low, even for Charlie. He was trying to lure Jax to his side, the Dark Side. He was trying to steal my dog! _That's it! I'm fucking buying Ex-Lax tomorrow._

I hoped Mr. Swan realized that shit wouldn't work with me. I may be a bitch and I may love bacon, but that little trick wouldn't put him in my good graces at all!

After dinner, I left Charlie to do the dishes for once while Benedict Arnold and I went upstairs for the night. I relegated my traitorous pup to the foot of the bed, where I had laid one of his blankets to protect my new comforter.

I got a restful sleep during the night. After waking again to doggy slobbers, the rest of my morning was spent going through my cubby hole. Gran had left me her recipe book, a picture of us together, a ring, and about $500 in cash. The large crystal ring slipped on my right index finger as if it had been mine all along. I got dressed and made my way into work in a pair of jeans and a green polo shirt with the store's logo embroidered on the chest.

Mr. Newton showed me around the store and storage areas, commenting here and there on what would be expected of me. It looked like easy, thoughtless work. We worked out a schedule that we both could live with, but the best part of my day was learning about the employee discount.

"That's right. Employees receive a thirty-five percent discount after a two month grace period," Mr. Newton replied to my inquiry while perusing the employee manual.

"Sweet," I muttered under my breath. Then a look of disappointment crossed my face when I thought of how this might delay my plans for the summer. Mr. Newton saw my soured demeanor and quirked a brow in silent question.

"Well, I was hoping to start learning how to surf. I was going to buy a board and a wetsuit. But it can wait," I quickly explained. I didn't want him to think I thought the discount wasn't generous. It was awesome actually.

"No, now is the best time of year to learn to surf. The water will get too rough starting in September. Tell you what, I'll wave the grace period."

"No, sir," I said shaking my head. "Those are the rules and it wouldn't be fair to the other employees." He looked like he was going to argue, but I continued, "How about I buy what I need now, sans discount, and you can give me store credit at the end of the grace period for the amount of the discount. That way, it's fair to everyone."

"That sounds reasonable," he replied, nodding his head. "But you can have one of my son's old boards. He has outgrown it and I am sick of having to rescue it from the garbage truck every Wednesday morning. My wife wants it gone, and life is easier if she is happy. Anyway, there is no need to buy a board until you know surfing is your thing."

"That would be great!" I exclaimed, truly grateful not to have to buy a board. "Thank you." Mr. Newton just smiled and got me started stocking some items. After I had proved my mastery of the mundane task, he went back to his office and left me to my own devices.

I turned to finish stocking the shelf I was working on. My excitement to be doing something for me, for once, was almost palpable. Although the whole idea of me surfing practically guaranteed trauma of some kind, I couldn't care less. I came to Forks to live and dammit that was exactly what I was going to do, even if I drowned trying.

The sound of rain pattering against the pane of the glass made me turn my head to look outside. The unusual sight of my reflected, genuine smile in the window said more than words about my current state of contentment. _Huh, how about that._

* * *

**_~B of L~_**

PPOV

After I watched Bella Swan drive away in her piece of shit truck the night of the bonfire, I couldn't stop thinking of her. She was out of sight, but most definitely not out of mind.

My wolf's antics in her presence had me concerned at first, but with her removal came his indifference. He didn't pine away and claw at me to get to her. It was most definitely not an imprint. Thank fuck! But I was intrigued by her, more than I ever had been with any other girl. And I felt like I was slowly going insane.

I couldn't get Bella out of my head. I tried, but she kept popping in my thoughts all the time. At first, I wasn't too worried. Once or twice, there had been a girl that had peaked my interest, and as soon as I closed the deal, the pull was gone. But this was different.

So very different.

I knew I had a serious problem when I was balls deep in Myra Collins and Bella's face crossed before my eyes. Myra was keening and mewling all sorts of shit I can't remember, but I distantly recall the roared 'Bella!' that came out of me when I nutted. Myra was less than thrilled with my faux pas, but made sure I had her number despite it. _Women!_

I blame the Baby Alpha for this cluster fuck. If he hadn't of told me to stay away, I wouldn't be in this situation. It was the equivalent of putting a toddler in white room with only crayons and saying 'Don't make a mess'.

Or maybe it was the way she had brushed me off. That had NEVER happened to me before. Brushing people off was my thing, my specialty. After playing the scene over in my head a hundred times, I realized I had insulted her first. She was all smiles when she approached me, but my behavior had flipped some invisible switch in her. She had talked to me afterward, and even though she hadn't been speaking down to me, it wasn't stimulating conversation either. All I really got out of it was that she didn't like Leah.

I was lying in my bed, trying to catch a little extra sleep before going out, when the roar of her truck floated its way up to my house and to my pricked ears. This was going to be my first weekend with the Sprint, and to go down and see her would jeopardize that. Jake had made that more than clear all fucking week long. Did I care?

Not one fucking bit.

I threw on the first shirt that my hands touched, bolted out of the house, and practically ran down the hill to the beach. Seconds later I stopped at the tree line behind where Bella was looking out to the sea. It was several hours until sunset, but I could still appreciate a different type of view.

I could barely make out whispered words, a song I thought. "Hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes..." She stopped abruptly and I could see her hands wiping at her face, the smell of saline was my confirmation that she was crying. She took a shuddering breath and lifted her head up to the grey sky above her, trying to soak up the phantom sunlight.

I wanted her to turn and look at me. I hadn't seen that face in almost a week and I had been craving it. Beyond all comprehension, I found myself a little envious of the horizon for stealing Bella's attention. I wanted her eyes on me, damn it! No one else was on the beach; I could have her all to myself. Maybe I could make a better impression, however un-fucking-likely.

When my willing her to turn around proved unsuccessful, I got a brilliant idea. Peeling my shirt off, I hung it from a nearby branch. Slinking back into the cover of the woods, I made a beeline for the cliffs, barreling through the trees and ferns at top speed. Not breaking my fluid strides, I launched myself into the Pacific Ocean, away from the view of the beach. Swimming under the surface with powerful strokes, I finally made my way topside when my lungs started to burn with the need for oxygen.

When my head broke the surface, I noticed that I was about a hundred yards from shore. I began swimming with long, measured strokes toward the beach. I heard the exact moment she saw me as her breathing hitched and her pulse quickened. I rose out of the water a few yards from shore and made my way to the dark-haired beauty. I was ecstatic to hear a distinct moan from the doe-eyed hottie and my dick twitched when a whispered expletive floated out of her full lips. Her nipples hardened and her cheeks flushed before my sharp vision, and I was positive that if I was downwind, I would be blessed with the scent of her arousal. No matter how much she acted otherwise, she was just as attracted to me as I was to her. I did a mental fist pump._ I was still in the game!_

"Bella, right?" I asked as I closed the remaining distance between us, shaking my head to remove as much water as possible.

"Hi Peter."

"Its Paul, actually," I ground out between my teeth, suppressing a growl. _Where the fuck did Peter come from? Fucking woman was just trying to piss me off._

"Oh, that's right. Where are your chaperons today?" she smiled as she glanced down the beach.

"No clue." I looked around for her little dog, not wanting to have to deal with him. "Where's your little bodyguard?"

"No clue," she parroted. "He left a little while ago. Why? You two have a date later?" She cheekily quipped, her playful smirk making my cock twitch a little more.

"Funny."

"I try. Well, it was nice seeing you. But I gotta get going." She said with a smile as she turned to the sand dunes behind her.

Not ready for her to leave, I quickly jogged up beside her. "You're not waiting on your dog?"

"I'm fairly certain he is waiting for me at Old Quil's."

"What a coincidence."

"You too?"

_Now I am! _"Yeah, why don't we head that way together?"

She looked in the direction of her truck and worried her lip. "No, I need to make a stop first. I'll meet you there." _Okaaay, not a brush off. Not a brush off._

I walked her to the edge of the parking lot, and watched as she got in her truck and drove away. I leisurely strolled back to my house, a calculating smile upon my face. I showered, dressed, and grabbed the keys to the Sprint. By the time I got to Old Quil's, Bella was there as well as Jake, Embry, and Quil.

When I entered the house, I was assaulted with not only the smell of Bella, but of food as well. Stepping over the dog in the doorway, I entered the kitchen to find Bella flitting about making something that smelled Italian, while the guys were at the table talking with Old Quil. Embry gave me annoyed look, but didn't comment. Although I hadn't been invited per se, it was a pack tradition to watch movies on Friday nights. I rarely showed, but my invitation was implied.

I waltzed over to Bella who was slicing bread, and leaned my hip against the counter. "Hey, can I help you do anything?" She looked up to me with a raised brow, but gave me a soft smile.

"Sure, set the trough. And make sure all your fellow pigs wash their hooves." I gave her my best sexy smirk and turned to walk to the others.

"Come help me Black. Everybody else, the hellcat says no one eats who doesn't wash their hands."

Jake and I set the table in silence and then sat down with the others waiting for Bella to finish cooking. I watched Bella in what was clearly her element. Jake raised a brow at me and whispered lowly, "Careful Lahote." I just rolled my eyes.

After eating the best fucking lasagna I had ever had in my life, I was prepared to hand the keys to the Sprint back to Jake. This girl was the entire package.

She forced Quil and Embry to clean the kitchen while Jake got the first movie set up, _Van Helsing._ I caught Bella snickering at the choice as well. Jared, Kim, Sam, and Emily came shortly after that from their double date. Collin and Brady were patrolling, and thankfully Leah had to work at the diner with Seth.

I had managed to claim a seat on the couch with Bella, while Embry practically dove for the other side. Bella's beautiful laugh filled the room as we all made fun of the movie. However, I was not impressed by her and the other girls giggled comments about how sexy Hugh, _girly-man,_ Jackman was. _I kill vampires for real dammit!_

We were just getting ready to watch _National Treasure_, when the Clearwaters came barreling in and Leah threw herself into Quil's arms. Apparently it was a slow night at the diner and Sue had let them leave early. Bella tensed a little but kept up her discussion with Embry about how unbelievable the previous movie was.

At the sound of Bella's voice, Leah whipped her head and leveled her eyes on brunette beside me. She huffed and whisper-growled to Quil, "What is she doing here?"

"Grandpa invited her over. She made dinner for some of us," he replied quietly to her.

"But why is she STILL here? The movies are for pack only. No one imprinted on her. She doesn't belong here," Leah whined.

"Shut the hell up, Leah," Jake growled lowly from beside Quil, sick and tired of her never-ending bitching about one thing or the other. Quil gave Jake a hard look but didn't comment.

Two hours passed with little drama; everyone was enjoying the movie. Jake had moved to sit in front of Bella's legs and they were laughing at some of their childhood antics. Apparently, they had swore as children that they were going to find D.B. Cooper's loot, and Jake was now devising a plan for Quil, Embry, Bella, and himself to go scouting again since they were older. Bella insisted she wasn't needed and would only slow their trip down. The guys all insisted that without her, they may starve, and therefore she would be as valuable to them as a compass. Not that wolves would ever need a compass, but she didn't know that.

Leah's eyes were near green with envy at the easy banter the friends shared and was preparing to strike. There were no Elders here; Old Quil was on the other side of the house somewhere. Young Quil realized the same thing, but his quiet attempts to divert the coming shitstorm were thwarted by his imprint.

"Why are you even here?" she snarled to Bella. "Didn't you graduate already? You're the same age as me." This peaked everybody's interest. Why was she going to school in Forks if she graduated? Better yet, why hadn't she graduated if she was nineteen like Leah? Both Quil and Jake said she was extremely intelligent and I knew that I hadn't met many people with as quick of a wit as hers.

"All the moving around made my transcripts impossible to read. They didn't count my credits correctly and didn't let me know until right before graduation. I didn't want to fuck anymore with the bastards, so I declined taking summer classes and moved up here." She said the words with sincerity and kept her eyes locked on Leah the whole time. I detected a small hint of a lie somewhere in her statement, and when I caught Jake's eyes I could tell he got the same impression.

"I figure you got knocked up and spit out a kid or two. That's probably why Charlie never talks about you; he's too ashamed he has a whore like you for a daughter." Emily and Kim gasped and the rest of our mouths dropped to the floor at Leah's biting words.

Bella laughed heartily at that, eyes almost shining with tears. I recognized the gesture for what it was, a distraction.

"What's got your panties in a twist? Couldn't you find any small animals to sacrifice today?" I almost spewed my drink out at Bella's retort. Jared didn't fare as well and sprayed Kim in the back, as she was sitting on his lap.

Leah was vibrating in her anger and seethed, "I don't want you here. Nobody wants you here."

"Story of my fucking life," Bella quietly said, shaking her head. She looked back up at Leah and smiled coyly, "But I'll let you in on a little secret. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to be. So don't worry. As soon as I can, I'll pull a Kaiser Soze." She finished by bringing her delicate fingers to her full lips, kissing them, and then pulling them back in a silent 'poof' gesture.

"Who's Kaiser Soze?" Kim whispered to Emily. Emily just shrugged her shoulders while EVERY guy in the room rolled their eyes. Figures the girls wouldn't know that reference from one of the greatest movies of all time.

Leah was not satisfied though, her eyes nearly on fire in her rage. "Your skanky white ass has no business on this reservation. You should keep your pale face in Forks." The cunt had no idea of the hurt she was causing her own imprint, her part-white imprint. Bella's eyes met Jake and Quil's eyes and she gave a sympathetic smile at Leah's Freudian slip. Most people wouldn't say anything regarding the fact that neither was full blood Quileute. Jake was next in line to be Chief and Quil was next in line to be Shaman. Most people had the good sense not to bring it up because it didn't matter.

But like I've said before, Leah is a fucking bitch. Quil definitely deserved better. As annoying as he could be, he was a really likable guy.

But of course, Leah didn't know when to shut the fuck up and continued to spew her venom, "Your kind only brings trouble here, just like your whore of a mother." Bella seemed to be unfazed by that comment, if not accepting of it. I, for one, would have been seething at any derogatory comment about my Mom. Leah also noticed Bella's lack of response to her comment and an evil smirk appeared on her face, "and your holier-than-thou grandmother too!" Bella's head shot up instantly, her eyes filled with fire and promise of violence as they landed on her prey. I heard a muttered 'fuck' from Jake who clearly knew what was about to go down.

And then the tiger pounced!

With a quickness of an Olympic hurdler, Bella lunged for the harpy, claws drawn and snarling profanities that would make any pirate proud. Leah's eyes went wide with fright, realization dawning a little late that she had gone too far. Before any shape-shifters could react to the shock of the situation and end the very lop-sided fight, Swan had one hand completely entrenched in Leah's black hair while the other was pulled back to deliver another punch. In that moment, I'm pretty sure I had never seen anyone more beautiful than Bella Swan.

My attention was pulled from the goddess by the unmistakable sound of tearing cloth and cracking bones. A vicious growl rose from young Seth Clearwater, a volatile young wolf of a little over three weeks. _Fuck!_ His yellow eyes were fixed on the brunette, his lips raised to bare his sharp, salivating teeth. He lowered down into a crouch, preparing to kill the girl brazen enough to be beating the shit out of his shrew of a sister.

Whether it was an attempt at keeping a feral Seth from sinking his teeth into Bella or he was merely removing a threat from his imprint, Quil leapt into the fray, shoved Bella away from Leah, and moved to intercept Seth's attack. The hellcat flew through the air, limbs flailing, several feet toward the opposite wall, hitting it with a sickening thud and then crumbling like a sheet of paper to the floor.

Ignoring the others, I cleared my head and ran to her. I barely registered the sounds of Seth and Quil being forcibly removed from the house by Jake, Jared, and Embry over her soft whimpers. Not thirty seconds followed the sound of the screen door slamming shut after their exit, until I heard an anguished howl.

"Bella, Bella baby. Open your eyes." I could smell the fear and confusion rolling off her in waves as she lay in front of me. Her breathing was hard and her heart was hammering in her chest. She finally opened her eyes, her deep, brown eyes swimming with a thousand questions I was not able to answer.

"Let's take you to the clinic and get you checked out," I begged as I caught her elbow in an attempt to steady her. She was shaking uncontrollably and my wolf was whining in my head, clearly anxious about her condition.

"I'm okay."

"Your nose is bleeding Swan. You're not fine." She closed her eyes and raised a shaking hand to her nose. Bella looked at the crimson liquid on her index finger, and I watched as several emotions flitted across her face. I doubt I would have registered them all if I was merely human.

"No, I'm fine. I'm prone to nose bleeds from time to time. It'll pass in a few minutes. No biggie."

She got up slowly, legs shaking like a newborn fawn and she leaned against the wall for support. At my concerned look she said, "It's nothing. I ... just don't like the sight of blood."

"What the hell is going on?" Old Quil shouted from the doorway, his eyes bouncing between the remaining people in the room.

Sam looked around the room, anxious at how much Bella may have seen and not certain what to tell the wise old man. "Uhhh..."

Old Quil shook his head. Frustrated, he sighed and looked intently to eldest in the room and spoke, "Sam, make sure everyone gets home. I expect you to meet with me and the other Elders tomorrow to explain what happened." Sam bowed his head in acquiescence to the older man's edict. Sam may be Alpha, but even he wouldn't disobey an order from the Shaman. He picked up the wailing Leah and made his way out the door, Emily and Kim following sheepishly behind him.

Old Quil's eyes softened when he looked at Bella, lifting his wrinkled hand to cup her cheek. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"The boys were just rough housing and my lack of self-preservation got me caught in the middle," Bella answered, her eyes begging me to keep quiet. I didn't know what she knew or remembered, but it was enough that she didn't want to discuss it. I couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing. "I'm tired; I think I'm going to go home."

"Okay, dear. I'm going to have Paul here drive you." At the scowl marring her face, he elaborated, "It's no trouble for Paul I'm sure. He is just going to put the bike in the bed, and he can do whatever it is that he does at night after you're safely home. No arguments, young lady."

"Fine, old man," she quipped, but I could tell she was not pleased. "Wait, what about my..."

"Don't worry. I'll take care of it. I just made me some tea. Why don't you sit at the table and drink a cup while young Paul and I get everything situated."

I watched the little hellcat walk unsteadily into the kitchen, and then I turned to face the Shaman. Surely he didn't think he could help load that bike. He did a small eye roll as if he knew what I was thinking and started outside.

"What happened?" he asked as he opened the tail gate. He tugged a surf board out of the bed and leaned it against the side of the truck. I wheeled the bike over to the truck and easily lifted the motorcycle into the bed. I tied it down for appearances sake and closed the tail gate after Jax jumped in at Old Quil's insistence.

"Short answer is Leah's a bitch." I didn't care that she was his future granddaughter-in-law or that he was the Shaman of the tribe. Some things just are what they are. He took it well, giving me a sly little grin and then handed me the board and motioned for me to follow him. When we made it to his detached garage, he pointed out where he wanted me to set it.

As if he knew I was dying to find out what the board was for, he answered my unasked question, "She wants to learn how to surf. I have granted her permission to go to Second Beach." _Woah! _You have to have special permission from an Elder to go to that beach if you aren't part of the tribe. Her Grandmother Helen had access to the entire reservation, but she had done a lot of charity work with the elderly and disadvantaged.

I smiled; I could use this to my advantage. "Does anyone else know about this?"

"No, we agreed to it earlier before you hoodlums got here. Why?"

"You mind not telling the other guys about this yet?" The old man just gave me a crooked smile like he knew I was up to something and nodded.

After going inside to retrieve Tyson, we loaded into the truck and started making our way to Forks. Bella was not in a good mood, offended that she was being driven home against her will. Her attitude didn't faze me in the least, I was enjoying her scent in the small cab of the truck. Her strawberry-vanilla scent was mouth-watering and had me wanting to see if the taste of her skin would be as good.

When we pulled into her driveway, Jax jumped off the side of the truck and ran toward the back of the house. Bella opened and closed the tail gate, after I unloaded the Sprint. After an awkward silence, Bella finally said, "Thanks, I guess, for the ride. I'll see you later." She turned to leave but I caught her elbow, halting her movement. She turned and unleashed those wide, doe-like eyes on me.

"Hey, wait! Can I have your number? You know, in case your self-preservation gets you in trouble again," I smirked at her, leaning into her wonderful scent, wanting to kiss her so bad I could almost taste it.

She seemed as affected as me for a second until she shook her head and took a step back, "Sorry, I don't have a phone." _Say what? _

Who the hell doesn't have a phone? Sam required us all to have one in case anyone was out of howl range. "No phone?" I asked incredulously. "You have an iPod, but no phone?" I gestured to the iPod in her pocket that I had seen her get out of the glove box before exiting the truck.

"I've never needed a phone. The iPod was a gift anyway." She didn't say anything else but made her way up to her porch. After unlocking the door, she turned and gave me a sweet smile. "Goodnight, Paul," she whispered, so softly that I'm sure I was not supposed to hear it. After a small wave of her hand, my view was obstructed when she slowly closed the door.

"Goodnight, gorgeous," I whispered back as I kick started the Sprint.

I had planning to do.

* * *

_A/N Thanks for reading!_

_A little longer than usual. Thanks to all for all the support you have been showing lately. You guys are awesome!_


	10. Chapter 9: Dodgeball

_A/N Thanks to AugustShaffer, MoonWolfRunner(MWR), Feebes, and Misty for helping beta and pre-read this chapter. It is very much appreciated. You ladies rock!_

_Remember there are secrets in this story, and lies have been told to cover them up. Keep in mind the story is being told from different character's perspectives and there are always two sides to every story. So, what is my point? Don't get hung up on the chapter._

_Some ages for you guys:_

_Bella 18 (almost 19)_

_Sam 22_

_Paul, Emily, 20_

_Leah, Jared 19_

_Kim 18_

_Jake, Quil, Embry 17_

_Seth 15_

_Collin, Brady 13, almost 14_

_Oh, and I don't own anything. _

* * *

**Chapter 9 - Dodgeball**

**La Push, Morning after the movie night:**

"Good Morning, Alpha."

"Good Morning Chief, Elders."

"Shaman Ateara briefly mentioned there was some altercation last night. Please explain what happened."

Looking warily to Elder Clearwater, Sam ran a sweaty palm over his face. How he wished that Jacob was ready to be Alpha. He would give almost anything not to have this conversation.

He raised his head and looked each of the five men in the eyes before he began speaking. "We were watching movies at Shaman Ateara's home, like we usually do on Fridays. Bella Swan was in attendance as well. When Leah and Seth Clearwater joined later in the evening, it seemed to annoy Leah that Bella was there. She complained that Bella was being included in a Pack event, when she is not Pack. Quil calmed her down... for a while. When Jake, Bella, Embry, and Young Quil were recalling a trip they had taken as children and were discussing going on another trip, Leah became upset. She said some stuff and Bella attacked her." Four sets of eyebrows rose at this, while one stared at the light brown and golden highlights in the wood grain on the table in front of him.

"Stuff? What did Leah say to make Bella react that way?" Chief Black questioned the young man. He knew Bella had a temper; it seemed to be a hereditary trait in that family.

Reluctantly, Sam relayed the entire dialogue between the two females. He spoke quickly, treating the chore like a band-aid.

Harry Clearwater looked like he wanted to hide under the table. The Chief and Shaman were livid, while the remaining Elders had shocked expressions on their faces.

"What happened then?" the Chief bit out between his teeth.

Sam took a long, deep breath. This was the part of the clusterfuck he really didn't want to get into. "Bella came unglued and was on top of Leah before we could react. Seth phased and..."

"WHAT?" All the men yelled, Harry included. Questions flew at the young Alpha like grenades and he was not sure which to tackle first. A shrill, piercing whistle caught the group's attention, silencing them. Elder Douglas Uley removed the fingers from his mouth and nodded his head to his young nephew to continue.

"Seth phased, and Quil pushed Bella off of Leah and intercepted Seth before he could get to Bella. Jared, Jake, and Embry dragged Quil and Seth outside while Paul tended to Bella. That was about the time you entered the room." he finished, looking at Old Quil.

"Where are Seth and Young Quil?"

"Seth phased back about two hours ago. I have alpha ordered him to stay at least fifty yards away from Bella. Quil ... Quil hasn't phased back yet. He is still very upset."

"What did the Swan girl see?" Elder Jeffery Cameron, Jared's grandfather, wondered aloud.

"I don't think she saw anything. She was too preoccupied at first and the impact seemed to have knocked her out for a minute or two."

"Was she injured?" Billy inquired, concerned.

"It didn't seem she was, but she was pretty shaken. She probably heard the sounds of Seth phasing and snarling. We are not sure though."

"How do we find out?" Elder Uley queried to the room in general.

"Jake was going to go over to her house to see how she was today and see if she asks anything," the Alpha answered.

"No. Tell him to hold off. Let's see if she shows up this weekend before he visits her in Forks," the Chief stated. If they were all lucky, the entire event would stay below Charlie's radar. Jake showing up asking if Bella was okay would only bring up questions. "Smothering her now will only make her even more curious"

"I agree," Old Quil commented. "Let her come to us. I have granted Bella access to Second Beach." Several eyebrows rose at this, but no one commented. "She will come to me, I figure. You worry about your Pack, let us worry about Bella." Sam nodded his head in acceptance, silently pleading to leave.

"That will be all. Please keep us informed of Young Quil's status," Chief Black dismissed the Alpha. The room remained silent, while they watched the young wolf quickly exit the room.

Jeffery and Douglas both looked sympathetically at Harry Clearwater, who was sitting with his head in his hands. They nodded to the Shaman and Chief and left the three men to discuss whatever was going on. It seemed clear to them that the issue was not Council business.

"Now or later?" Billy asked his friend quietly, after the other Elders had closed the door behind them.

"Later," Harry replied dejectedly, resigned to his fate. He knew that Sam would have seen some things in Seth's thoughts. The entire Pack probably knew by now.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, three men made their way into the Black residence. Harry pushed Billy inside, stopping the wheelchair in the living room. While Old Quil made his way inside, Harry went into the small kitchen and grabbed a six pack of beer. He walked slowly into the room, dragging what felt like the weight of an elephant behind him. He handed each man a beer, saved one for himself, and placed the remaining on the coffee table in front of them. The only sound in the room was that of three cans being opened.

Downing the beer in one go, Harry sighed heavily and spoke the words he had spent almost two decades not uttering. "Bella may be my daughter."

Silence descended on the room like a heavy blanket.

While the other two men absorbed what he had said, Harry thought back on how this all started. He hadn't planned to betray Charlie.

Harry had enjoyed his single life when he broke up with Sue Uley. She was a controlling, insecure girl that had annoyed him to no end. His friends and parents rejoiced at news of their break up. About a month later, after a particularly wild bonfire, he woke up next to a pretty, blue-eyed, blonde from California named Renee. She and her friends were working their way up the coast, and moved on to Seattle at the end of that weekend.

But they returned about a week later.

One of his best friends, Charlie, happened to meet her at the next bonfire and instantly hooked up with her. He had been heartbroken for over a year when the girl he had loved his whole life had married someone else. All of Harry and Billy's attempts to set him up were rebuked, and they were beginning to wonder if he would ever move on.

Renee and Charlie did not seem to be a good match, but he needed a rebound. Harry didn't mention his night with Renee to Charlie, or even Billy. Charlie was happy, and really there was no shame in it. It happened before Charlie had met her. So, Harry swept the incident under the rug and forgot about it.

Fate found Harry when Sue approached him announcing she was pregnant. A shotgun wedding followed shortly thereafter to mitigate the scandal; his parents were Council members. Harry Clearwater had signed the rest of his life away on that wedding license. The first year was pure hell. Sue had hardly let him touch her. The pregnancy had been difficult and then Leah had been a colicky baby.

He fell into bed with Renee again in a low moment of sexual frustration about two and half years after Leah's birth. He still didn't know how they ended up in bed together and had sworn it wouldn't ever happen again. However, several more indiscretions occurred in the following months. The guilt ate at him, but he had decided the truth would only hurt Charlie.

Somehow, Sue discovered the affair and had threatened Renee, who promptly left Charlie, taking their daughter with her. Charlie was never the same after that. The very mention of his ex's name threw him into a rage.

Sue didn't want a divorce and amazingly didn't tell Charlie. Turned out, Sue had him by the balls and Harry had found himself forever trapped in an unhappy marriage.

He had been contacted by a drunken Renee about six years after her divorce from Charlie. She claimed Bella was his child and was demanding some money. He had insisted for her to get a paternity test for Bella before he would pay her a fucking dime. He never heard from her again.

However, he couldn't help but wonder about Bella's paternity when he looked at the girl during her visits. Charlie and she were never close, but Harry thought it went farther than the long distance between them. Did Charlie suspect she wasn't his daughter? He clearly didn't know of Harry's potential for being a candidate for Bella's father, or he would have severed their friendship long ago. Bella's skin tone may have been pale compared to those of the Quileute, but it was a far deeper tone than either Charlie or Renee. Her hair was far darker than their lighter colors. And her eyes. Bella's eyes were a deep brown. And when she looked at him, Harry couldn't help but feel he was looking in a mirror.

He weathered the tempests that would happen during the summers when Bella visited. Sue's disdain for the girl was poorly veiled. The only thing that kept her from being out-right rude to the girl was her fear of Helen Swan. But Leah noticed enough and slowly mimicked her mother, and where Leah led, Seth followed. The past four or five years had been fairly calm at home. But when Charlie began speaking of Bella's return, the Clearwater's family life went to hell in a hand basket. Sue was on the warpath, giving murderous glares at the mere mention of Bella's name.

However, after the bonfire that welcomed Bella back to Washington, Sue exploded at him at just the thought of Bella working in the diner and Leah overheard. She found out about the affair and the possibility that Bella could be his daughter. And apparently, Leah had then accused Bella of the sins of the mother. Harry was appalled at Leah's actions and feared the repercussions. Her words caused Quil to inadvertently injure his cousin and led to a wolf phasing in front of Bella. Not to mention her spewing her mother's racial protests in front of an audience, particularly Jake and Quil.

"So, let me get this straight," Billy began, sitting ramrod straight in his chair and clutching an empty beer can in his hand. "I have worried myself sick, about that girl starting school at the end of the summer, for six fucking weeks. I pleaded with you to help me talk to Charlie, but you ignored me. Now, you're telling me there is a chance she is your daughter. How could you do that to Charlie?" Billy thundered, his voice shaking with rage. "You have called him a friend for over thirty years!"

The Chief's furious glare could be felt by the repentant man staring at the dust bunnies on the hardwood floor.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" Billy roared.

"William," Old Quil admonished.

"Don't you chastise me in my own fucking house, old man. You are my father-in-law, not my father." Billy seethed. He rolled into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him, before he said anything else he might regret later.

"Wait, Harry," the Shaman spoke as he watched the younger man approach the door. "Is there anything else we should know?" He suspected something and now was the time to find out.

Harry Clearwater stopped in the doorway, as his heart lurched and his breath caught. He turned around slowly and raised his dark brown eyes to those of the elderly man; a silent conversation ensued for almost five minutes. Harry nodded his head in affirmation, and most people would have thought it was in regard to the question he was asked. However, the wise Shaman knew it was in answer to an unspoken question.

Old Quil shook his head, as he watched the man practically run away from the Black home in shame.

* * *

**~B of L~**

BPOV

After closing the door softly, I leaned against it with a smitten grin on my face. No one had ever asked for my number before. The smile quickly fell from it though when Charlie appeared in the doorway to the living room, his eyes were burning in anger. Mariners were supposed to play the Yankees today, so I figured they had lost. Badly.

"Where the hell have you been?" he barked.

I rolled my eyes, not giving a damn if he saw it or not. The note I had left on the fridge would have let him know where I was, more or less. "La Push," I bit back, as I pushed off the door and headed to the kitchen.

"Where? With _who_? It's two in the damn morning!" he yelled, as he followed behind me. Jax appeared at my side and gave a low, warning growl, reminding Charlie we were not alone in the house. Charlie's eyes snapped to the canine for a second and then took a long, deep breath. I moved into the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. "Bella ... it's late, you could have run off the road or something and no one would have found you until morning. I was worried."

_Fuck that!_

"Why? You never worried before," I snarled. I slammed the water-glass on the counter, and whirled around and stared at him darkly. "Were you worried when the bitch left me alone for three weeks with hardly any groceries and only a twenty-dollar bill? Have you ever worried that I am almost nineteen years old and have yet to see a dentist? Did you worry where I was all those summers when you were sitting on a boat with Billy and Harry? When you acted like it hurt you to be in my presence for even fifteen fucking minutes? Tell me, Father, when did you start worrying about me?" My chest was heaving at the end of my tirade, and although my vision was watery, no tears had fallen.

The same could not be said of Charlie. He just looked at me in stunned silence, his mouth open, ready to speak the words that just would not come.

Today, or yesterday really, had been the day from hell and I was exhausted. "Just so you know, I am going to bed. That's where I'll be until morning." I said as I brushed past him and started up the stairs, Jax following behind me. I quickly got ready for bed. Foregoing a much needed soak in the tub for the solace and peace of my room. I listened to some music for a few minutes, before drifting off to sleep, the sound of the rain softly falling outside my open window.

_'It's almost like the hard times circle 'round_

_A couple drops and they all start coming down_

_Yeah, I might feel defeated,_

_And I might hang my head_

_I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead (no)_

_Tomorrow's another day_

_And I'm thirsty anyway_

_So bring on the rain_

_No I'm not gonna let it get me down_

_I'm not gonna cry_

_And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight ('cause)_

_Tomorrow's another day_

_And I am not afraid_

_So bring on the rain'_

_~Bring On The Rain by Jo Dee Messina~_

* * *

I woke up the following morning, feeling like shit warmed over. I ached everywhere. I knew I had hit that wall hard, but I figured I was doing pretty good since nothing had been broken. I sat up, only to fall back immediately into the bed, grasping at my head in an attempt to stop the room from spinning violently.

Jax lifted his head from his paws to look at me, the canine equivalent of concern on his face. I'm sure he needed to go outside, but I was beginning to wonder if I was going to ever be able to get up. I wondered if Old Quil trained him to open doors. Doubtful.

Ten minutes later, the room finally ceased to rotate. I slowly made my way to the door, fingers anchored to the wall for support. When I opened it, I was amazed Jax didn't run downstairs. Instead, he kept by my side, until I turned the knob to enter the bathroom. I would change the second door to when I turned the knob or something…

After doing my business, I started a hot bath and began undressing. My eyes widened at my reflection in the mirror over the sink. The angry bruises I had seen last night, that were only beginning to form, were now dark blue and purple. The worst of the damage was on my back and shoulders that had taken the brunt of the impact. I quickly took some Motrin for the pain and then slipped into the water. I hissed slightly at the heat, but sighed in near ecstasy, as I became completely submerged from my nose down.

I got out of the tub an hour later when the water started to became too cool to lay inside any longer. I dressed quickly, but returned to my room and lay down with a book. I got lost in the pages and when I looked up I found Jax passed out at my feet. He was lying on his back, his legs twitching in the air, in a way that just could not be comfortable. He yipped softly in his sleep and I smiled. I hoped he would be able to at least catch one of those mean birds in his dream.

I was startled by a knock at my door. "You okay?" Charlie queried, hesitating.

"Yeah, fine. Just reading," I replied, looking at him expectantly. There was no way that was all he wanted.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the diner with me?" _Uhhh, no._

"No, thanks. This book just got interesting. But could you bring me back a club sandwich and some steak fries?" I was a little hungry and it seemed like the best way to get rid of him.

The corners of his lips pulled up slightly. "Sure. I'll be back a little later."

"Okay," I commented, as I glanced back at my book.

I figured it was probably best to make my way downstairs while he was gone. Eating in my room would be too out of character. After a slightly shaky start, I slowly descended the stairs. Lying on the couch with a blanket at my feet and a can of Dr. Pepper in my hand, I continued reading my book. After a while, I decided to see if there was anything on TV worth watching. I had just checked the listing to see what was on when Charlie got home.

"Anything good on?" Charlie asked, as he laid a to-go box in front of me.

"It's hit and miss. This movie sounded promising," I answered gesturing to the flat-screen, the opening credits of "O Brother, Where Art Thou" playing.

"Huh. Never seen it," He said as he sat back in his recliner, followed shortly by the sound of a Vitamin R being opened.

We watched the movie in relative silence, only our laughter drifting between us. We both knew that a lot needed to be said between us, especially after the incident last night. However, neither of us wanted to rock that particular boat at the moment. I was too tired for the fury it would evoke, and he, I'm sure, was too scared of what I might say. Nonetheless, it was a painless daughter/sperm donor moment.

After the movie was over, "Major League" with Tom Berenger and Renee Russo was getting ready to come on. I had heard Phil mention it a couple of times but had never seen it. Charlie looked at me with an expression of hope on his face, whether it was to watch the film or for control of the remote I wasn't sure. Too comfortable to move, I decided to chance it.

"We can watch this, but I need some water." He smiled and rose from his chair and gathered his and my trash, and quickly went into the kitchen. "Can you check and make sure Jax has food and water?" I called from my seat.

Later, I was laughing so hard, I couldn't see straight. Even though the other movie was very good, I would have to admit, that this one was funnier. Several times I saw Charlie's eyes tearing with laughter. At the end of the movie, I finally rose from the couch and bid Charlie goodnight.

"Goodnight, Bella," Charlie said as he turned the channel to ESPN.

My dreams were filled again with the little boy. This time he was playing fetch with Jax at the beach. He would throw a stick into the surf, and then giggle when Jax would bring it back to the boy's feet and then shake the water from his coat. I watched them from the shadows of the forest. Every time I had tried to approach them, the boy seemed to disappear. So I just sat in the tree line, with a smile on my face at the innocence of youth.

After waking up to my canine alarm clock, I went downstairs and ate some toast for breakfast, as I had a slight headache. I left Charlie to his own devices. After I showered and dressed, I was on my way to La Push. Jax was sitting with his head out the passenger side window, perfectly content to ride along with me. I didn't know what was everyone else's aversion was to riding with me.

I pulled into Old Quil's driveway and saw him sitting in his swing like the day I had first came back to La Push. After I loaded my board in the back, I strolled up and sat beside him. "How are you doing, my dear?"

"Hacill, ho. Ayasocha?" I responded in Quileute. *****

"Yaplo'll," Old Quil answered as he sipped on his cup of coffee. *****

I laughed at the old man. "Well, perhaps you need to lay off that glorified kerosene you make."

"I know not of what you speak," he retorted, giving me a wink. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? You look a little worse for wear because of the other night."

"Yeah, I'm fine." I gave him a questioning look. I had tried not to think much about what had happened. Besides the bruises, I had lingering questions about that night. Nothing really made sense.

"Anything you would like to say to me?"

"If you are going to ask me to apologize for hitting that bitch, you can forget it. I am only sorry I couldn't do more." I retorted as I watched a red and grey hummingbird approaching the feeder hanging from the tree in front of the house.

"No worries. She has a black eye, in case you're curious," he said with a smile. He looked at me from the corner of his eye.

I smiled widely at that. _Excellent!_

"The consensus is that she deserved it," he continued, turning toward me.

I watched the hummingbird feed.

He seemed to be studying me. What he hoped to glean, I was unsure of. "I would stay clear of Sue Clearwater though, if I were you."

I snickered, imagining what level of rage the Mother Bitch was probably in. At least she didn't have to put Leah in a bath of tomato juice this time. _Hehehe!_

That bitch was asking for what she got. I tried to be the bigger person, letting her comments slide, trying to enjoy the rest of the evening. But Leah always had to have the last word. She just picked the wrong one this time.

"Quil is very upset with her... and himself," he continued to speak, his tone turning serious.

"Quil has no reason to be sorry. He did nothing wrong," I said vehemently, noticing the older man's brow raise. At least I couldn't remember anything he had done. All I really remember was punching Leah one minute and being on the floor the next. "Quil is guilty of nothing except horrible taste in women. What the hell does he see in her?" I asked, finally turning in the seat to face him.

He stared at me for a long moment, considering my question. "Well Bella, that is a story for another day," he dodged.

I gave him an annoyed look, but didn't press the matter. No explanation he could offer would satisfy me anyway.

"Please tell Quil I am not upset with him," I said as I rose to my feet. "Try to stay out of trouble."

"I will. You be careful out there. The water may be calm today, but I would feel better if someone else was out there with you," he warned, rising to his feet and giving me a hug.

"I'm just going to get used to the board today. No need to worry about me," I placated. "Anyway, you should be more concerned your shoes don't match."

I laughed as I started toward to the truck, hearing a muttered "Shit" behind me. Jax jumped into the cab when I opened the door, and we started toward Second Beach, waving goodbye to Old Quil as he scowled at his feet.

After parking the truck, I got out and grabbed my surf board. About twenty minutes later, I was fairly tired after carefully traversing the winding path through the forest with the awkward board. I reached the end of the trail where I could see the ocean in the distance, but my path was blocked by a mountain of driftwood.

I sighed. I might be able to get the board on the other side, but what about when I wanted to go home? Not only would I have to re-climb this obstacle, I would have to haul the board back up the hill to the truck.

_Fuck it!_ I started dragging the board up the driftwood. When I was halfway up, I lost my footing and had to release the board to save myself from a nasty fall. "Fucking Hell!" I growled, staring indignantly at the board below.

"Problem?" I deep voice asked. I yelped in surprise, turning to see who it was without falling to my death at the same time. I could hear Jax in the distance barking on the beach at something. _Perfect! I could be murdered while he chases fucking birds._

"Could you use some help?" The now sexy voice asked from the other side of the drift pile. My eyes finally found the laughing eyes of Paul, standing in all his glory several yards away. He looked absolutely sinful in his navy board shorts, his hair dripping wet.

"Well, that depends? Can you move this pile of logs out of the way so I can get through?"

"Well, I could. But that might take a little while," he replied as he jumped agilely on the pile, heading toward me. "However, it might be quicker just to help you get over. Don't ya think?" he smirked at me.

God, what that smirk did to me! I was in far too a precarious position to be going weak in the knees. Focus Bella!

"I guess." I watched in awe as he crested the pile and made his way to my board in mere seconds. It had taken me five minutes to get to where I was. When he climbed back up to me, he stopped and threw the board over the top of the pile, where it landed on the soft sand on the other side. "Show off," I muttered.

"Now, should I throw you over as well?" he teased as he looked down at me, his stormy grey eyes drinking me in.

"I wouldn't advise it." The words were no sooner out of my mouth, when two meaty paws wrapped around my waist. I squeaked in surprise, my hands clamping onto to his, as he lifted me to the top of the pile. I glanced down the beach as he climbed over, stopping just below me on the other side.

"Come on, climb on my back," he said, turning away from me. I hesitated for a moment, but finally made my way down and climbed onto his back. I damn near moaned at the feel of his broad shoulders beneath my palms. His skin was blazing hot, and I absently wondered if he would sizzle when he entered the ocean.

He quickly descended the pile, jumping down the last several feet. He loped over and snatched my board before heading toward the water.

"You know contrary to popular belief, my legs actually do work." He stopped, and I slid down his muscled frame. I felt suddenly cold when I stepped away from his warmth.

"So, you surf?"

"No, but I am wanting to learn."

"You're not planning on surfing in that are you?" he asked with an amused smirk on his face. I was wearing a pair of loose fitting, denim overall shorts over a black button up short sleeve shirt.

"No." I was glad that I had purchased the spring suit from work a couple of days ago. No swimsuit would have covered the bruises I had on my back. I was still trying to figure out what happened, and if anyone saw them, they would ask questions I couldn't answer. Of course, Paul was there Friday night and would know where they came from. But I would be too self-conscience in only my bikini in front of the Greek god in front of me. I bet he could break bikini strings with just his eyes alone.

"So what are you doing here?" I said as I unhooked the buckles of my overalls.

His eyebrows lifted and a playful smirk appeared as he watched me finish undressing.

_So not helping me!_

"Same as you. Who would have guessed?" he mused.

"Yes, quite the coincidence." I was positive that Old Quil was behind this. Nosy old fool!

_Then again_, I thought as I gave Paul a covert, appreciative survey. _I may just have to thank the old man for the gorgeous view. _

* * *

**~B of L~**

PPOV

"So, what was all that about D.B. Cooper?" I asked as I watched her finish undressing. She was wearing a black spring suit, with red accents. It was skin tight and accentuated her curves in just the right way. I found myself wondering if she had on anything underneath it and quickly stopped, as I couldn't hide a hard on in these shorts unless I was in the water. Her dark, brown hair was tightly braided to her head as always. Hints of red were appearing in the weaves under the sunshine above.

She laughed. "When I was eleven or so, Molly Ateara and Gran rented a cabin along the Columbia River. All of us went: Billy and Jake, Harry Clearwater, Charlie, Quil, Old Quil, Embry, and me. The entire group went white water rafting. When the men fished, us kids had went gone exploring. We got it in our heads that we were going to find D.B. Cooper's money, since some of the money was found close to our cabin in like 1980. I think I still have the map we were using for our search."

"So what did your grandmother do while everyone was gone?"

"No telling what trouble her and Molly might have gotten into," she commented, a warm smile on her face.

"You know, I met your grandmother." I wasn't sure why I blurted it out.

"Really?"

"Yeah, she was friends with my grandparents. Nice lady. You remind me of her." I wanted to let her know that I didn't believe the bullshit that Leah was spewing the other night.

"Thanks," she turned away to hide her blush, but I could see the pleasure the complement produced.

"Why didn't Seth go?" I asked, feigning curiously to gauge her knowledge of the shit storm currently happening in casa de la Clearwater. Leah was getting it from all sides: her mom for causing the airing of the family's dirty laundry and from her wolf. Quil was pissed at her and refused to see her. I was curious how long he could hold out.

"Sue." She offered nothing else, as if that alone explained everything.

I guess in a way, it did.

We were paddling out to sea next to each other. She had said she only wanted to get used to the board today.

For all her lack of coordination on land, she seemed surprisingly at home in the water. I had said as much to her and she explained her other grandmother had lived in California and had taken her to the beach often.

"How are you liking being back in Forks?" I asked as we sat on our boards and watched the tide start to come in. The water rose slowly, overtaking the tidal pools that had been exposed with its earlier retreat. I had insisted we stash her belongings on one of the shorter sea stacks. It was easy for me to climb partway up and deposit the over-sized bag, while she and the dog had watched an eel in one of the tide pools.

"It's alright," she said noncommittally. Jake was very concerned about her comments the other night. She was important to him and others. She had been either reserved or snarky with her answers during her fight with Leah, but there was truth underlying it all. She was leaving and my gut was telling me that she would not return once she did.

"You spend much time here growing up?" I didn't recall meeting her the few times I had visited my grandparents. But I never felt like visiting with much of anybody back then.

"All of my summers and Christmas breaks. How about you? How long you been in the area?" She replied, quickly switching the topic of discussion to me again.

"Grew up in Portland and Tacoma, visited the grandparents some. I moved here about four years ago with my Mom." I didn't want to get into all the shit in-between and after.

We sat on the ocean for quite a while just talking, sharing funny stories about Jake, Embry, and Quil. I told what stories I could without the supernatural parts. For as guarded as she could be about herself, she was extremely easy to be around. She was real. Not like the countless, fake bitches that flung themselves at my feet.

We returned to shore, and I retrieved her bag from its perch. As she pulled her clothes back on, I tried to get my thoughts in order before making my proposal.

"So, how about I help you learn to surf?"

"Hmmm. That's nice of you to offer, but you don't need to do that. I know Old Quil worries, but I'll be fine," she replied, eyeing my reaction.

"I'm not doing it for him, but for me," I huskily replied. She blushed softly, but gave me a disbelieving look.

"I can't cook, you can. You can't surf, I can. Seems like we can help each other out," I hedged. "You can keep your board and park your truck at my place," gesturing to the hill behind me. "There's a trail down to the beach that's a lot shorter than the one from public access."

She looked back at the ocean, deliberating my offer. She seemed torn about something, and sighed heavily after the decision was made. Finally turning back to me, she nodded her head, "Okay. You hungry now?" I gave her a look that question deserved. She rolled her eyes. "Right. Me too."

"Why don't we take the boards up now, and I'll drive you to your truck later?"

We made our way up the path I had spent the better part of the day before clearing. I had even made some stairs out of treated lumber for the really steep places. They blended into the rock environment well and wouldn't be noticed by people in the surf or beach. They could be removed when weather turned bad for the season. I'd have to make sure that Max didn't let anyone know. I didn't want my place to become a fucking car lot.

After dropping the boards in the shed, we walked inside the modest house that belonged to my father's family.

After my first phase, I moved out of the my Granddad's house to protect Max and him. I was volatile before phasing but I was absolutely feral after. Emily had just accepted Sam, so there was no invitation there. Jared hadn't phased yet and most of the Council had children still living at home.

The Council had given my grandparents place to me. It had been abandoned since their death almost a decade before. The amount of work I had to put into it was a much needed distraction from the cluster fuck I had found myself in. I learned I was really good at fixing things up and making furniture, and basically fell into a career by accident.

"Nice place," Bella admired as she walked to the kitchen window facing the sea.

"Thanks, it was my grandparent's. I've lived here about three years."

She looked at a little confused, "Since you were seventeen?" I nodded my head. "Huh." She started looking through the cabinets and refrigerator. Sighing heavily, she looked at me hard. "Who feeds you?"

I smiled, "Emily mostly."

"Men," she muttered under her breath as she rolled her eyes. She turned on her heel and headed for the front door.

"Where are you going?" I asked confused. What did I do?

"Supplies. The kitchen needs to be stocked before I can teach you anything," she replied over her shoulder, exasperated. I just admired her retreating form. "Are you coming?" she growled from the doorway. I ran into my bedroom and grabbed a shirt and wallet and slipped on some shoes.

I unhitched the trailer from my truck, and lowered the end-gate for her dog to get in. He seemed determined to go with us and was not riding in my truck.

Bella grabbed a basket for both of us when we got to Ateara's store. I looked at the baskets in her hand and looked up, "Hungry?"

"Actually, I am. Which is breaking rule number one of shopping. But since you guys seem to always be hungry, it will be good practice."

"Will we practice other things?" I asked in a husky voice, winking at her.

"I wish." she muttered under her breath.

_Oh baby, the things I want to do to you_, I thought.

"You seem to have most of the pots and pans you need, though some could be replaced. Main issue is the lack of any food," she continued. She started placing items in the baskets, asking me questions here and there about what I liked to eat. We spent several minutes in front of the spice section.

When she placed a jar of yeast in the basket, I had to ask. "Yeast? What's that for?"

"Bread."

"But can't we buy it?"

"Trust me." Recalling how that lasagna tasted the other day, I would.

When we checked out, Joy gushed over Bella. Apparently, she hadn't been home when Bella visited Old Quil. And the other night when Joy returned home from work, she had avoided the Pack. She didn't approve of Quil's imprint either.

I started arguing with Bella about the amount of vegetables to be purchased. I'm a werewolf! I eat meat, not fucking carrots! Joy gave me a knowing smile at our banter. She had tried to look after Max and I the best she could after our Mom died. She had a lot on her plate with Quil, Old Quil, and the store.

I put the purchase on store credit for Bella's benefit. The Council helps with our food bills considering our massive appetites. We drove back and I helped put things away.

"Breakfast okay?" Bella looked at me expectantly.

"As long as its food, I don't care. Beggars can't be choosers." Bella showed me how to make an omelet with peppers, onions, bacon, and cheese. It didn't look like much, but tasted awesome. It looked more like scrambled eggs with stuff than a folded omelet I had in my mind when she had first mentioned making them.

We cleaned up afterward, and she passed me the last dish to dry. I bit the bullet and asked her to go to the movies the following Friday.

"As a... date?" she said, looking at me hesitantly. At my nod, "Well, we could do something with Jake and the guys. But I'm not looking to date anybody at the moment."

_WHAT?_

"Are you seeing someone?" I growled in my head at the thought of her dating anyone other than me. She didn't really know anyone outside of the reservation... _Shit!_ "Embry?"

"Is only a friend," she finished. "Look I'm not looking for anything serious. I'm leaving in a few months, and I don't want any complications, okay?"

"So, am I a complication?"

"No, you're a friend and my surfing instructor," she smiled at me.

_Fuck!_ When the hell did I get stuck in the friend zone?

"If you say so," I replied in what I hoped was a disbelieving tone. I threw the towel I had been using down on the counter and sighed.

Getting Bella Swan was going to be harder than I had thought.

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading!

_"Hacill, ho. Ayasocha?" = "I'm good. How are you?"_

"Yaplo'll." =_ "I'm hung over."_

So I'm sure a lot of people are a little confused. Everything will be explained... eventually. **hides behind Paul**


	11. Chapter 10: Cullens and Cooking

_A/N Many thanks to MoonWolfRunner(MWR), Feebes, Mist, and AugustShaffer for their help with this chapter. These ladies are great and I greatly appreciate all their help and support._

_SM owns Twilight and its characters, not me. Damn it! _

_I am in awe of all the love people have shown me on this story. All the favorites, joins, and reviews are like chocolate. Thank you so very much!_

_Hope you guys like this chapter, this is where things start picking up some steam. Choo Choo!_

* * *

**~B of L~**

**Songs: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) covered by Marilyn Manson**

**Chapter 10 - Cullens and Cooking**

BPOV

I was slowly going insane.

It had all started about a week and a half ago. I had seen movement in my peripheral vision and when I turned, I saw the little boy from my dreams. However, I was wide awake.

I shook it off as just being tired. I'd had a restless night's sleep, thinking of Paul. I had spent the hours torn about my decision to not... sleep with him. I knew I couldn't do it and spend all that time together and expect to get anything done. And I wouldn't date him just to leave him in a few months. I knew guys didn't get attached and even if he was as bad of a boy as I had him pegged for, I wouldn't take that chance. If things turned to shit again, I didn't want him involved.

So, I had blamed my seeing the little boy on sleep deprivation and general over-thinking things. But then one instance turned into two, then four, until I had lost count.

Sometimes, he was outside my window when I looked in the morning. Other times I thought I saw him in the anti-theft mirrors running along the aisles at work. Once he was peeking at me from behind the shower curtain, when I was going the bathroom. _Ewww!_

Jax didn't see him and when I had asked Angela Weber, at work, if she had seen him running in the aisle, she had said no. She then spent the remainder of my shift giving me worried glances. I kept my mouth shut after that. I was beginning to think I was really hallucinating and I didn't want to think of the implications of that.

So after cooking enough food for an army the day before, I was on my way to Old Quil's house. I didn't want to end up eating everything I had made. I had already dropped off a chicken casserole, quiche, bread, chocolate no-bake cookies, and an apple pie at Jake and Billy's.

"What brings you by?" Old Quil called out from his porch swing, when I shut off the engine after arriving.

"I come bearing gifts," I announced, as I jumped out of the cab and started unloading its contents.

"Oh, your grandmother taught you well," he smiled, as he looked at the food in my hands. "A lot here. You been anxious about something?"

_How the hell did he know that?_

What was I supposed to say? _'I'm being stalked by a two-year old?'_ I'd be committed.

I'm sure I looked like a fish out of water. I quickly closed my mouth and replied, "N-No, why would you ask that?"

"Girl, you don't realize how much like Helen you are, do you? She would cook up a storm when she was upset. She'd cook all day and then invite a houseful of people to eat it. Sometimes, after the leftovers were put away and the kitchen sparkled once again, she would talk about what was bothering her. Other times not"

The image of my spotless kitchen as I had left this morning flashed before my eyes. _Huh._

"I'm fine. Let me put these in the kitchen." Unnerved, I avoided his eyes as I moved past him.

"We still have some of Joy's meatloaf leftovers in the fridge. Why don't you take some of your food to Hank Wilde? I'm sure he and his grandkids will enjoy it."

He chattered while I put his pie up and picked up my old dishes to take home. When I moved to pass him on my way out, he stopped me and pulled me into a reluctant hug.

He whispered in my ear, "Always know that you can talk to me about anything. And if you don't want to talk, feel free to feed me."

I smiled at him, but didn't dare to speak.

"Be careful. Whatever you do, don't mention that you bring me pies every week, or that old fool will be here trying to steal it. I don't share food."

I rolled my eyes. The scary thing was, I wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

"See you later," I called behind me, as I left. Since the day was fairly nice, I decided to walk there instead of driving.

It was a pleasant stroll to the house, the sun was peeking through the clouds and a warm breeze was coming in from the south.

I recalled coming many times with Gran and Molly to visit Mr. Wilde's late wife, Doris. She was actually Old Quil's sister and had been a sweet woman with Old Quil's sense of humor and his eyes.

About halfway to the house, Jax found a squirrel to terrorize in a large tree; although, it didn't look too scared. I kept walking, not wanting to be associated with Jax's embarrassing display of barking his head off at what appeared to be an amused woodland creature. When I couldn't take any more noise with my headache, I spun around and growled at Cujo to shut the hell up. We continued along, Jax trotting sullenly beside me.

When we turned onto Mr. Wilde's street, I could see a small head full of black hair in the distance. The child's head bobbed along for a few seconds before disappearing from my vision, as they descended the hill toward the beach.

I walked up to the house and knocked on the door. I heard Hank shout, "I'm coming." I could make out mumbling just before the door swung open.

"Bella Swan. It's been a long time," he remarked, as he opened the screen door. I stood in shock for a moment, amazed that he recognized me.

Hoping that he didn't think I was touched, I finally found my voice. "How are you, Mr. Wilde?"

He looked behind him and then at me. "No Mr. Wilde here my dear. Call me Hank. Thought you might be the grandkids coming back, but they don't knock." I smiled as I entered the home. It was small, as most houses on the Rez were, but it was quaint. Doris had died a couple of years before Gran. I recalled that he had one daughter, but I couldn't remember where she lived.

Holding up my gifts, I said, "I was visiting Old Quil and he mentioned you might like this pie and lasagna."

"Quil V parted with food, willingly?" one eyebrow rose up.

"Reluctantly, but he kept a pie for himself."

He chuckled. "Sounds about right. I was going to make some tea. Would you like some?"

"Sure."

Following him into the kitchen, I asked for a pen and paper to write the reheating instructions for the lasagna. After searching each drawer and finding nothing, he walked to the table and handed me a crayon. I just smiled as I began to write, while he fiddled about making our drinks. Looking around the kitchen, I noticed there were several children's drawings on the fridge. And on the table I was sitting at, there was a couple of coloring books lying under a newspaper. _Hank's grandchildren must visit here often_, I thought.

"Let's move back into the other room. Never part an old man and his favorite chair for too long," Hank pulled me from my thoughts as he gestured to the other room.

"I'll try to remember that," I laughed, as I picked up the tray to carry into the living room.

We spoke for about thirty minutes, remembering Doris, Gran and Molly. Then, Hank excused himself to go to the restroom.

I rose from the couch and began to mill around the living room while I waited for his return. I looked at some of the older pictures of his parents and what looked to be of his wedding day on the end table. I moved toward the fireplace to look at the pictures that littered the mantel. One was of his daughter holding a small baby, beaming at the camera. Another was of Hank and Doris holding the same daughter when she was but a baby herself. Sipping my drink, I continued perusing along the mantel until I stopped.

_What the..._

I slowly turned back at the picture that had caught my full and undivided attention. A picture of a boy on a tricycle in the driveway of the very house I was standing in. Almost identical to the boy who had been playing hide-and-seek in my dreams for weeks, the pictured boy was staring back at me. His skin tone was quite a bit darker than his dream version, but the same dark-grey eyes pierced into me.

I wasn't positive that his lips didn't move, but I heard a childlike voice just the same. God help me! I heard it. And it was the same one as in the dream my first night back in Forks. Somewhere, either in the back of my mind, or in this very room, I heard a distinct but softly spoken, "Boo."

Goose bumps the size of the Volkswagens rose all over my body and a chill shot through my spine. Hearing the same child's voice may have freaked me the fuck out, but it was the warm breath I could feel being blown into my face that really scared the bejesus out of me. The loose strands of hair framing my face waved in the warm breeze.

_Fuck!_

I was powerless to stop the cup of tea that slipped through my fingers and I watched as it fell to the floor in slow motion. By some miracle it didn't break when it hit the hardwood floor, but it did splash warm tea all over my legs and feet.

I cursed softly as I rushed into the kitchen for some towels to clean up the mess. I used a wet cloth to try to get the sticky residue off the floor. After double checking that I did not miss anything, I rose to my feet. I intentionally kept my eyes low and away from the mantel where I could swear I felt eyes watching me. Turning and lifting my head to move back to the kitchen to rinse and dispose of the towels, my eyes met Hank's.

"I'm sorry. I forgot I was supposed to meet someone. I need to run. Don't worry about those dishes. I'll pick them up another time." _Unlikely, as it would take a team of Clydesdales to drag me back here!_

"Are you sure?" Hank asked with a bewildered look on his face. I'm sure I looked batshit crazy to him, and he had only been gone maybe five minutes.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I have to leave so quickly, but I really need to go. Take care of yourself," I replied as I gave him a quick hug and bolted out of the house.

I was at the end of the driveway in seconds. I didn't look for Jax. I wasn't sure where he was and I really didn't care. If he wasn't at the truck when I reached it, he would be on his own. All I knew was it was time to get the hell out of Dodge.

I didn't look back at the house, but I could feel eyes on me.

I ran harder.

* * *

**~B of L~**

The next day was mind-numbingly boring at work. It was raining hard and even though it was the week of the Fourth of July, very few people needed sporting goods. I was working with Angela Weber. I was re-stocking shelves after the holiday rush, while she worked the register and cleaned the windows between customers.

Angela had been on vacation with her family when I first started. She was a tall, pretty girl with a slender build, jet black hair, and large, hazel eyes. She didn't ask a lot of questions about my past and didn't talk about herself excessively. She was genuine and not keen to gossip about others. Angela was a true anomaly in a small town like Forks, or anywhere really.

I considered Angela a god-send, unlike the bosses' moron son, Mike Newton.

Mike was the epitome of a jock: conceded, handsome, and annoying as fuck. He couldn't seem to figure out what to do with me. One minute he would flirt with me. Other times I seemed to be classified as the 'the help' and not worthy of his intentions. I found him obnoxious and self-serving. Gran's old saying of 'Buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth' aptly summed him. I had been curious how someone as nice as Mr. Newton could sire someone who affronted me so. A few days later I met Mrs. Newton and the mystery was solved.

As if Mike wasn't bad enough, his presence often came with Jessica Stanley's, his on again, off again girlfriend, according to Angela. She was a pretty girl that chose to cover it up in a pound of makeup. However her personality was so unattractive, I don't think a controlling share of Maybelline could cover it up. Safe to say, I couldn't stand to be around her. She would fawn over Mr. Newton, even though he clearly wanted to run in the opposite direction at the mere sight of her or the sound of her annoying voice.

I dreaded when school started because I would have to endure both Mike and Jessica on a daily basis. _Fuck my life!_ At least Angela would be there too.

I noticed a large Jeep pull up outside and a young couple quickly enter the building. The guy was absolutely huge, bigger than even Quil. His handsome face was topped by shortly cut, raven hair. The woman, probably one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, had long, blond hair hung in large curls from her head. Both were adorned in what I could only guess as the latest New York fashions. However, I noticed a gorgeous late eighteenth/early nineteenth century, antique necklace with an elaborate 'C' hanging from her neck. Although beautiful, I thought it a little odd for a woman her age wearing a piece like that to get camping supplies.

The longer I subtly watched them, I couldn't help but feel how off they seemed. There wasn't anything in particular in their behavior that made me feel that way. They both had nodded politely to Angela and me when they entered the store and quietly moved along the aisles. I found their penetrating gold eyes disconcerting when they had met mine. They were also both unusually pale, even for sunless Forks.

There was an alien-like quality to them that I found unsettling. If only they could take Mike back to the Mother-ship with them.

A family came into the store while the strange couple was checking out. The Hulk was making pithy conversation with Angela, but I observed as the woman tensed at the family's entrance. She watched the mother and father with something between disdain and jealousy. I would have thought the young parents had wronged her in some way, but they seemed completely ignorant of the animosity toward them. However, her behavior made a little more sense to me when I noticed the longing glances she gave the small boy and girl who were giggling and skipping along the aisles, picking up items here and there and rushing to convince their parents to purchase them. As if he could sense the pain of the woman beside him, the man took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

When they left the store, I stepped down from the ladder I had been perched on and moved to the register.

"That is Rosalie Hale and Emmett Cullen. They just graduated this year. They live with Dr. and Mrs. Cullen," Angela replied to the question that must have been written on my forehead. "The doctor and his wife can't have children so they have several adopted and foster children. Two of them are still in school."

Angela looked outside, watching Emmett fit the large purchase in the back of the vehicle while Rosalie waited not so patiently from the look of it. "The family keeps to themselves mostly." She told me a little more about the Cullens and mentioned they were extremely good customers to the store. "They all seem so happy."

"Yes, they seem," I appeased, as I watched the children run in and out of a tent display.

"You doubt it?" Angela questioned, brow raised.

"Everybody wants something. Some things remain out of reach, no matter how much power or money you have. You show me someone who proclaims or appears to hold the world in the palm of their hand, and I'll show you a very talented actor." I looked back at the children again, "Or actress."

She chuckled, "I'm not sure if you are very cynical or very wise, Bella."

"I'd say a bit of both. But my advice is strictly unsolicited. Thus endith the lesson," I quipped. We both giggled and she moved back to the register that the young father was approaching.

I turned to look at the Jeep as it backed away from the store. My eyes met Rosalie's, her incredulous eyes piercing into mine with an intensity I hadn't witnessed before. My eyes remained locked with her now dark eyes until her worried boyfriend put the vehicle in gear and quickly drove away.

* * *

**~B of L~**

A couple days later found me in La Push making breakfast for Billy and Jake. I was not in a good mood. Jake had begged me to come over and said that he would try to teach me how to ride a motorcycle. I thought making breakfast for them was a nice trade. However, imagine my surprise when Charlie showed up to spend the day with Billy.

Or as I like to refer to as Operation Piss off Bella.

It had all started about a week earlier. I had been surfing in the morning and came home and went straight to the bathroom and took a shower. Having no clothes in the bathroom, I had wrapped a towel around me and prepared to make a dash for my room. Unfortunately, just as I was leaving the bathroom, I heard Charlie start to step on the landing on his way up the stairs. I had run for my room, hoping that he wouldn't see the yellowing bruises remaining on my back and shoulder, but he did.

He had asked a lot of questions about them and wanted to take me to a doctor in Forks. I had refused, saying that I had accidentally got caught in the surf swimming and crashed into some rocks. Why lie? I couldn't explain what had happened and I just wanted to stop the Spanish Inquisition.

All of a sudden Charlie was concerned about my spending time in La Push. Oh, he said it was because of my surfing, but I caught how the mention of my instructor's name seemed to raise Charlie's hackles. He accused Paul of causing the bruises and we ended up getting into a screaming match. I hadn't talked to him since.

I had given Charlie a cold glare for invading my sanctuary that was La Push when he appeared at the Black's door. His appearance seemed to baffle Billy, who had been completely flummoxed at the unexpected sight of his old friend.

Jake stayed in the kitchen helping me cook breakfast, and told me that Billy and Charlie hadn't spoken for several weeks. I didn't comment as I chopped fruit with a vengeance; Jake gave me a worried glance every few minutes.

The meal was slightly awkward as Charlie and I stared each other down, while Billy and Jake watched us nervously. Not so nervous though, that they didn't finish off the stack of thirty pancakes and the pile of sausage. I had fresh strawberries too, but only Billy and I seemed to notice them.

After breakfast, I let the men deal with the dishes while I begged a rain check from Jake saying my head was killing me. I drove to the beach trying to calm myself.

Jax ran ahead of me as I walked down the sand dune toward First Beach. He looked around for unsuspecting fowl to terrorize, but when that proved fruitless he made a beeline for a girl sitting down the beach. I started to run after him to intercede, especially when I saw the girl seemed to be crying.

The little girl giggled as Jax licked at her face. When she pushed him away, she saw me looking at her. A blush showed on her tanned skin.

"Hello," I said, bending down to her level. "The licker here is Jax and I am Bella."

"I'm Makala."

"Very nice to meet you. May I ask what's wrong? Can I help?"

The girl frowned and looked up into my eyes with dark, brown eyes, new tears shining in them. Before I knew what happened, she launched herself toward me and began sobbing into my chest. Her small hands clutched at the back of my shirt as she hugged me to her. Normally uncomfortable with such displays, I pulled up my big girl panties and wrapped my arms around her and whispered assurances that everything would be okay into her ear.

Through her sobs, she tried to tell me something, but it was incomprehensible to my ears. I could only make out 'birthday' and 'grandpa'.

"Makala, honey, look at me. It's going to be okay," I cooed. When she finally looked at me, snot dripping from her nose, I pushed aside the OCD need to jump in the ocean in lieu of trying to help the upset child in front of me. It would definitely serve as my good deed for the day.

Walking her to a bleached out piece of driftwood, we sat down.

"Okay, so all I could understand from earlier was it has something to do with your grandfather." She nodded her head, hiccupping a little.

"Did he pass away?" Now a head shake.

"Then, what is the issue?" I asked, trying to bypass a round of twenty questions.

"I don't know... what to get him for his birthday," she hiccupped.

_Is that all?_ I thought until I remembered what it was like to be young. Children tended to make mountains out of mole hills. And perhaps her grandfather means as much to her as my grandparents did to me.

"Oh. Well, what does he like to do?"

"Sleep."

_Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought._ "Anything else?"

"He fishes and plays chess."

"Good. Well you could buy him..." I was silenced by the reappearance of tears.

"I... don't... have any... money," she choked out.

"Alright," I cooed. "We'll think of something else. The best gifts are the ones that are homemade anyway. Does he like to eat?"

"Yes," she nodded her head.

"Can your mom help you make his favorite dish?"

She shook her head, a pained look on her face. "Mommy died."

_This poor girl!_

"Oh, I'm so sorry Makala," I soothed, as I hugged her to me again. Several minutes later, after prying the foot out of my mouth, I tried again. "Can someone else help you? Who do you live with?"

"My Grandpa."

_Ahh, I see_, I thought. "Okay. Well, I don't have anything planned today and I feel like cooking anyway. Would you like me to help you cook him dinner and a cake?"

A big, bright smile stretched across her face, a dimple appearing on her left cheek. "YES!" she exclaimed excitedly, wiping away tears from her eyes as she jumped to her feet. I chuckled as I rose to mine, wiping off the seat of my pants.

"Okay, lets stop by your house and see what we have to work with. Do you live far?"

"Nope," she said, popping the 'p'. She grabbed my hand and started leading Jax and I away from the beach.

"So, how old are you Makala?"

"I'm nine and a half. My birthday is in September."

I smiled. _At what point did I stop answering that question with half years?_ "What a coincidence! My birthday is the thirteenth of September. When is yours?"

"Really? The fourteenth," she happily replied. We continued along, walking up a hill, as she asked me all about Jax. He walked beside her, with her hand stroking along his dark coat.

I was laughing at something she had said when we crested the hill, and my smile slowly disappeared. The girl had temporarily lifted the anxiety I'd had, over the past week, with regard to the house in front of me. After I ran away from Hank Wilde's home, I tried to block the incident from my memory. Tried being the operative word. I got lost in work, surfing, and Paul.

But I couldn't forget now that we were approaching the same house. It was possible that she would pass the house. Keep walking, going to another home down the street.

I scoffed. _I am Bella-fucking-Swan. If it weren't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all._

My trepidation proved well deserved as Makala released my hand and ran up to the house yelling, "Papa. Papa!"

I hesitated at the door, unwilling to go inside. Jax had no such reservations, as he trotted inside to find our new acquaintance. After a moment, Hank appeared at the door with a beaming Makala by his side.

"Hello Bella. How are you?"

"Well, and yourself?"

"Good," he looked at me quizzically. I couldn't blame him after my wig-out last week.

"I was wondering if I could borrow Makala for the afternoon?"

"Oh course. If you're sure she won't be any trouble." He seemed grateful for my offer, looking down adoringly at his granddaughter by his side.

"No trouble, she can help me run some errands. Is there anything I can get you while we're out?"

"No, I'm good. Be safe. Don't let this little tornado wear you out."

"I won't," I chuckled. Makala ran inside the house and came back with a little purse on her shoulder to accessorize her purple T-Shirt and denim skirt.

We walked back to my truck and we made our way to the Ateara store. I needed guidance on what Hank would like to eat. Joy hugged both of us and happily discussed what she knew of Hank's favorite dishes. She gave me some ideas and assured me that Gran had copies of several of them. I shopped for items I knew I didn't have at home while Makala helped Joy check out a few customers. I overheard Joy asking the girl if her big brother was going to be there, so I immediately planned to triple my recipes. Guys on this reservation ate like it was their last meal. When I tried to pay for my items, Joy waved me away stating I was doing her and Old Quil a favor anyway.

We drove to Forks after loading the groceries. After arriving at the house, I got Gran's cookbook from my cubby while Makala ran around the back yard, playing with Jax. I let her help with the measuring and stirring while I did the knife work. Makala talked happily about her best friends that were visiting their grandparents on the Makah reservation and her big brother, Buddy. I prayed that wasn't his real name, but every time I thought to ask her I got sidetracked. I had her start some new bread dough for me, as we baked what I had made up that morning.

After loading the large meal and marble birthday cake with butter-cream frosting, we made our way back to La Push.

When I pulled the truck back into Hank's driveway, Joy was sitting on the porch steps. She explained that Old Quil had taken Hank out for a little while so that she could set up before everyone could get there. I feigned exhaustion at Joy's asking me to stay for dinner. I hugged Makala and escaped before Old Quil brought the man of honor home and could talk me into staying with his puppy dog eyes.

I wasn't ready to go back inside that house. Not by a long shot. It seemed wrong to think of that little boy as a demon, but I couldn't help but to fear him like he was. His angelic face was in opposition to the ominous feeling that came over me.

I'm sure the picture was of Makala's older brother when he was younger. Although I was curious to meet the grown version, I couldn't help but be hesitant.

Anyway, I didn't need any more complications in my life.

Like Paul.

I didn't know what was going on between us. All my attempts to keep him at arm's length were failing.

Miserably.

I was so attracted to him. Hell, I could envision nuns being tempting into sinful acts by the mere sight of him. And I hadn't taken a vow of chastity. Oh God, I pretty much had!

_I'm a fucking idiot!_

So many nights I woke up with my panties soaked and my breathing ragged.

Dreams of him unzipping my spring suit painstakingly slow, unveiling my bikini underneath. His hands ghosting over my curves with a tenderness that belied the coarseness of his hot, calloused hands. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck, his lips softly caressing the skin below my ear. I moaned when his huge arms pulled me taut against his hard body. And believe me, every delicious inch of him was as hard as steel!

_Ugh!_ Can people die of sexual frustration?

He really was a nice guy underneath that bad boy exterior. I liked him too much to start something with him only to leave, sooner rather than later, if Charlie kept getting into my business. Nobody deserved that. I shouldn't have come back, but it was too late for second guessing now.

Paul was beginning to show signs that he wasn't going to tolerate our being just friends much longer. My walls were beginning to crack a little, wanting him every bit as much as it appeared he wanted me.

And that probably scared me more than anything.

* * *

**~B of L~**

PPOV

I hadn't had blue balls since I was thirteen.

There had always been someone to help relieve the pressure before things got that bad. Always a girl willing to caress Paul Jr. with either her tongue or pussy. Or both. There were plenty of women approaching me nowadays too.

But I only could think of Bella. I will admit that at first, my main goal was to bury my throbbing cock inside her. I found her interesting and intriguing, but sex was the ulterior motive to it all.

Now, I was just trying to win her time. I wanted to spend time with her. I was pussy whipped and I hadn't even tapped it yet!

She seemed to enjoy spending time with me too, but whenever the air heated between us, and it always did, she would escape. Fucking vampires were proving easier to catch than her!

I was forever on Jake's shit list because of my attempts. I was royally screwed whenever he took over as Alpha. But although the thought of my fooling around with Bella infuriated him, he recognized I was probably the best option to keep her on the reservation.

She wouldn't discuss the recent past or her future plans with anyone, even Old Quil. He had even offered her the apartment over his store that she refused. I found that odd, as she seemed to spend all her time in La Push. I think all she did at her father's house was to cook and sleep. She didn't speak about her family and I didn't speak of mine, some unspoken rule between us. Sometimes she would mention her Gran, only to go silent for several minutes.

Embry was still pissed at me. He had glared at the last movie night at Jake and Billy's when Bella sat on the sofa tucked under my arm. Embry had accepted his friend status with Bella, and I think his main beef with me, was he thought she deserved more. I totally agreed, but it wouldn't stop me.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen between us. Not enough, that's for fucking sure!

For not being Pack, she fit in well with us. She hung out with the others as long as Leah was not present. Which was not a problem as Quil was still not talking to Leah. The distance was making him ill, but Quil felt it was worth it. He had a helluva lot more balls than I had him figured for.

The Council hadn't determined on how to deal with the paternity issue of Bella. I could tell enough by her never mentioning Charlie, not to ask her. Some people worried that even though no girl had ever phased, it could happen. They feared what would happen if Bella was exposed for prolonged periods of time to bloodsuckers. Say, like at high school. A bit of a leap, I thought, but stranger things have happened.

The Pack had recalled that her scent was... off, but it had gotten less noticeable since the initial bonfire. I never really noticed it; she smelled incredible to me. It remained yet another mystery of Bella Swan.

The lessons that Bella and I were giving each other were going good. She was getting better at catching a few waves. And I was now in the habit of making my own bread. It really did taste better than store bought. My omelets still looked like shit, but they tasted good.

We had such an easy time together. If only Bella would admit the chemistry between us and give me a chance.

I looked over to her sitting on her board, watching some whales in the distance. She looked happy and peaceful. She had been acting strangely the last week or so, like she was worrying about something. But now she had a contented smile on her face. The sea suited her.

"Can I ask you something?" I wondered.

"Sure."

"Why haven't I seen your hair down? It's either under a hat or in a braid like now." So many of my fantasies had her hovering over me with her hair cascading on either side of my face as she kissed me passionately. Besides the color, all I could tell was her hair was probably around shoulder length based on the length of her braids or ponytails under her Yankees hat.

"Keeps it from tangling in the water. It has a mind of its own. And hats just make sense with all this damn rain. Keeps my mascara from running," she commented, looking away. She didn't lie, but I could tell she was deflecting my question.

My wolf growled lowly in my head at her slight deception. I had been so... happy lately that I hadn't heard much from him.

I tentatively raised a hand towards her, catching a stray strand of hair blowing in the breeze. I twirled it along my finger a few times and then tucked it behind her ear. Her breath hitched and she turned to look at me, her large doe-like eyes locking onto mine.

"I love the red in it," I commented huskily. She didn't respond, just kept looking at me while she worried her lip.

I slowly slid my hand to cup her cheek and watched as Bella closed her eyes. "Paul," she whispered. The warning she intended offset as she leaned into my hand.

She is so fucking beautiful. _Fuck the friend zone!_ I have to kiss her.

My hand slipped to the back of her neck, and I leaned forward, pulling her towards me. Her heartbeat quickened, and her little rose tongue peaked out of her mouth, wetting her lips. Ghosting my lips over hers, I waited until she opened her eyes.

Her warm, sweet breath wafted in my face making my wolf purr. Her deep, brown eyes finally opened and stared at me in anticipation. Considering permission granted, I lowered my lips to hers.

She tasted so fucking sweet! Like fresh strawberries, with a hint of salt from ocean she had been swimming in.

I started moving my mouth over hers softly, gently. Her lips answered each of my silent questions. I suppressed a growl building in my chest, when she raised a petite hand and gripped at my bicep. The chill of her skin from the water burned into my flesh.

I deepened the kiss and she moaned in my mouth, causing my dick to twitch. However, it came to full attention when she caught my lower lip between her teeth and tugged lightly. I growled lowly and raised my hand up to hold her head to me as my tongue licked at her delicious lips.

She suddenly jerked away from me, batting my hand away. Her eyes turned from scared to sad when she looked up into mine, taking in my confused expression. She shook her head and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. Her eyes reopened and she started paddling for shore. "Come on, let's get going. I'm hungry."

_I don't think so!_ I placed a large hand on her retreating board, stopping her progress. I pulled her back beside me roughly and glowered down at her.

"What are you afraid of?" My tone was harsher than I wanted. I was sick of her pushing me away when I fucking knew how I affected her. I cringed when I saw a tear roll down her cheek. _You're an asshole, Lahote!_

"Bella, I won't hurt you." And I wouldn't, not if I could help it.

"I know," she exhaled, her eyes closed. She opened them, unnerving me with the conviction in them. "It's not me I'm worried about getting hurt."

* * *

**~B of L~**

**Not too far outside of Portland:**

James was sick of Victoria.

He would toss her aside if it weren't for her gift. She had saved his ass in Siberia. He had made a mistake underestimating those Children of the Moon. Her evasion allowed them to escape, if only barely.

Their little coven had been feeding in Portland for about a month until they decided to move on. Laurent had felt like he was being drawn north, and James was indifferent to the prospect.

Victoria however wanted to find somewhere to stay for a while. Clean up. For a nomad, she didn't seem to be too accustomed to the lifestyle. A little dirt and rain never hurt anybody, especially a vampire. But she bitched and moaned constantly about it.

Or about their relationship. Always clinging to him. She was under the delusion that they were mates. That he loved her. It was ludicrous.

He loved blood, inflicting pain, and most importantly the chase. Not a red-headed whore with only self-preservation to recommend herself.

James had urged Laurent and Victoria to go ahead to Seattle while he hunted some more. He needed solitude. He needed a good fuck and blood where Victoria couldn't interfere.

Running through the Cascade Mountains not too far from Mount. St. Helens, he stopped abruptly when the wind suddenly shifted. He took a deep breath, his eyes turned pitch black and venom pooled in his mouth._ Ambrosia_, he thought. Along with the crisp mountain air was a hint of the greatest fragrance he had ever smelt. Surpassing even that of the asylum girl he had pursued decades before.

Seattle now a forgotten memory, he started to run against the wind. He had to have the blood that belonged to that scent. It was only the slightest whiff on the wind that he had inhaled. Oh how intense the bouquet would be with his nose against the jugular. It would be overwhelming.

Intoxicating.

Tantalizing.

Mouth-Watering.

He ran for some time in a northwestern track. He barely registered the territory line of a coven as he sped to his meal. A rather large coven if all the scent trails were an indicator.

His journey ended in the yard to a white two-story home at the outer edge of a small town. The potent scent wafted off of the blades of grass. The smell led him to the backdoor of the house, and he listened for any heartbeats within. Unfortunately, there was none. He walked around to the front and found the trail again, leading to the driveway where it disappeared. No vehicles were parked there.

It looked like dinner was out. He didn't know when it would return.

But he could wait. After all, he had all the time in the world.

* * *

_A/N Thanks for reading! Although I didn't answer much of anything, I wouldn't call this a filler chapter either. There will be some answers next chapter, I promise. Okay, maybe a few questions too. ;D_

_So as this is fanfiction, I have taking some liberties with the story. The Cullens came to Forks a year later than what they would have in canon. Most of the Forks crowd are a year younger as well._

_Some more recs, as it has been a while:_

_Protecting Maddie by BetterinTexas (Peter/Bella)_

_I Live by GeezerWench (Jasper/Bella)_

_40 Weeks by kerigocrazy (Quil/Bella)_

_Dark Imprint by peters kitten (Peter/Bella)_

_Jagged Edges Heal by twifantasyfan (Embry/Bella)_

_Longing by JoyfulyetHestiantpen (Jasper/Bella)_

_Mating Call by feebes86 (Embry/Bella)_

_The Life and Times of Charlie Swan by dragonfly76_


	12. Chapter 11: Rogue

_A/N Hello all. __I won't bore you with excuses on the long wait for this chapter. Please enjoy. Thanks to all for their continued support and sticking with me._

_Oh yeah, and I don't own anything. :(_

* * *

**_~ B of L ~_**

**Chapter 11: Rogue**

_BPOV_

I was sitting on my board lazily watching the surprisingly calm waters in the cove ahead of me.

The ocean was nearly placid, so there were only small swells here and there to be caught. However, I enjoyed the peace of being out here, watching the eagles bringing fish to their nest on the largest sea stack. Nothing but the sea, the wildlife, and me.

I hadn't seen much of Paul the last few days. We had just shared the most perfect kiss, when he'd left all of a sudden. I was convinced that it was because of my wig-out and escape attempt. That my knee-jerk reaction had pissed him off. But when I came back to the beach the next day, he was waiting for me. He had seemed genuinely glad to see me, but then he left in a hurry again. That time I heard what sounded like a howl before he had kissed my forehead and ran off into the woods. I didn't think much of it at the time. There were wolves in the area, always had been.

However, after he got pulled away again, yesterday, to the soundtrack of multiple howls I might add, I was under no illusion that he would be here today.

I figured my attempts to keep him at a distance were far more effective than I had ever wanted, and he had given up.

Or I stunk, literally.

I lifted an arm and took a whiff, glad I didn't smell anything but the brine of the ocean. I had thought that scented shampoo and body wash would cover up whatever the fuck Paul's friends seemed to think I smelled like. Their behavior towards me at the first bonfire had made me self-conscience enough that I had bought some things to cover the scent of disinfectants and to smell more... girly.

Either that or I was a bad kisser. A far more probable explanation.

Whatever the reason, Paul seemed to be gone. I was a little unnerved on how sad that made me, and a little angry at myself for being so. I had learned long ago to quit dwelling on what-might-have-been.

Along with Paul's odd behavior, Jax had been acting absolutely batshit crazy lately. First, on the day that Paul and I had kissed, I had gone home right after he left. When I had opened the door and tried to exit my truck, Jax went ballistic. He was snarling and barking as if a mountain lion was waiting outside the door to eat me. He even grabbed my clothes and had tried to pull me back inside the truck.

Usually when we got home from being somewhere, Jax would check the backyard and then enter the house from the doggy door. But that same day, he stayed by my side like white on rice. His hair had bristled and he kept growling. It reminded me a lot of the day he had met Charlie.

Some days, he would go absolutely nuts for no reason. For example, several days ago when I was cooking he had such a fit that I had to stop what I was doing and go check. I went outside half expecting to find a horde of terrorizing birds, like in some Hitchcock movie. No birds were to be found or heard. Not even any squirrels.

Jax was even in the habit of following me to work. One day I had brought him inside the store as it was raining hard, but had to take him to the truck after he growled at Mike. I growled at Mike all the time, but they never asked me to go home early. Jax stayed outside of the store after that. Sometimes I would see him make a lap around the building or he would be in the woods across the road.

He only calmed down when we were in La Push.

Actually, the same was true of me too.

Lately, I always felt like someone was watching me. Every time the hairs on the back of my neck would stand on end, I would hear Rockwell's "Somebody is watching me". Every. Fucking. Time. It was beginning to piss me off, because songs tended to get stuck in my head for hours at a time. And that particular song should only be endured once a decade at most. The only reason anyone knew the god-awful song was because the background vocals were done by his cousin, Michael Jackson.

Since the mind-fuck at Hank Wilde's home, I hadn't seen the little boy. _Thank God. _ However, I had been seeing all sorts of weird shit lately. A couple of times while leaving La Push, I could see something in the forest running beside me. I couldn't see what it was and once when I stopped to look, I didn't find anything. And the current flux of my dreams were dark and haunting. I couldn't remember much of anything, but I always woke with a nauseating sense of trepidation and a migraine.

I even felt like I was being watched when I had gone to Silverdale two days ago to run errands. I had felt eyes on me the entire trip, even when I was driving and there were no cars behind me. And when I was purchasing a cell phone with the money that Gran had left me, I could have sworn I saw someone from the shadows on the other side of the mall.

And at work, I knew I saw a figure lurking in the shadows of the tree line across the road. I couldn't see their face, but I thought I could make out their light hair due to a little sunshine streaming through the leaves. Jax stood in front of the entrance of the store and growled threateningly, and I distinctly recall the figure cocking their head to the side in curiosity at the aggressive canine.

Feeling eyes on me again, I lifted my eyes to the cliff tops but didn't see anything.

I looked toward the beach to see Makala.

My little sous chef had been on the beach when I arrived, and I was fairly concerned that the child was not being watched more carefully. What if she tried to enter the water? What if some pervert happened to be passing by? All the possibilities sickened me. I would have to berate Hank about it when I took her home later.

She insisted her brother was somewhere around close by, but I had been here for about an hour and hadn't seen hide or hair of him yet. _Fucking prick!_ Whoever he was, he was probably talking bullshit with his bros while his defenseless sister waited patiently on the beach. Lucky for him, Jax and I were around to watch out for the kid.

I had told her to stay out of the water until her brother or I returned, and that I would take her home so we could make some cookies. I had asked her to watch Jax for me, which she seemed honored at the responsibility. Telling Jax to "Stay", I had given him a pointed look and then her, silently ordering him to protect her. He seemed to understand; because he walked around her and the sand castle she was building a few times and then laid down.

Harry Potter's Sorcerer's Stone wasn't as well guarded as that girl.

I was just about to start back to shore when something caught my eye a couple hundred yards in front of me. It was a large black dorsal fin, swimming in between me and the beach. I noticed that there were several more fins slicing through to the surface.

I was in complete awe. I hadn't been this close to them since Papa and Old Quil took Jake, Quil, Embry and me fishing years ago. The orca that time had been quite a distance from us, but I had been so excited. Like the ones I saw while surfing with Paul. But now, they were only a few yards away.

The pod of whales swam around me for several minutes in an unthreatening but unsettling manner. I was no marine biologist, but even I knew this behavior was odd. Finally when they were in front of me, they turned and started to swim directly toward me. Some dorsal fins dipped below the surface before they could hit my board, a nervous giggle escaping me as they brushed against my sufficiently pruned feet dangling precariously in the water. A few orcas stayed on the surface and glided past on either side of me. I stretched my arms wide to try to touch them but couldn't.

However, one stopped, a female judging by the rounded dorsal, at the head of my board, pulling it down slightly. I was temporarily frightened at this, irrationally recalling a scene of _"Jaws"_ in my mind. I quickly recovered as I remembered these creatures didn't deserve the moniker of killer whale, at least with regard to humans. Seals were a different story, but I wouldn't be putting my arm in her mouth to prove a point either.

With slightly shaking hands, I reached up and touched her head. The intelligent creature allowed me to pet her for several minutes. When I looked into her soulful eyes, it seemed like they were pleading with me to understand or do something. The whales were sacred to the Quileute, just as wolves were. Coincidently, orcas were known as the wolves of the sea. Feeling compelled to say something, I thanked her for blessing me with such an honor in broken Quileute. I don't know how, but I got the indication she understood. She backed up slightly, then sank beneath the surface. I turned to look behind me but there was no sign of any of the pod.

_Wow, that was beyond surreal!_

I was excited to tell Old Quil, but thought maybe this was my honor alone. I looked up to check if Makala had noticed my visitors, when I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion.

My perspective of the beach was askew. Not only had the ocean level seemed to rise several yards, but I was more than a half a mile from shore. It was several hours before high tide, so there was no explanation there. How the hell did I get out so far?

Confused, I looked for Jax on the beach. It appeared he was pulling frantically at Makala's shirt trying to get her to abandon her morning's work, while she batted him away. His agitated state scared me.

"Oh My God." My breath caught when I finally realized the cause of his distress.

I was perched on a rogue wave.

"FUCK!" I swore, as I stared in horror at the beach. The swell was too large for me to handle. Attempting to surf it would ensure my death. I would never out paddle it to get to Makala. My best shot of survival was behind it, at sea, but the little girl would drown in the chaos the wave would create.

"Makala! Run! Makala, run now!" I screamed.

I saw Makala turn at the sound of my voice drifting on the wind. I could almost hear her gasp as she saw the mountain of water threatening to descend on her tranquil little world. She started running away from the danger toward the trail to Paul's house before I had to turn my attention to my board and fight for my own survival. I knew Jax would get her to high ground.

He had to.

The wave moved smoothly from underneath me as if I was anchored in place, like a place setting on a magician's table. My panicked cries chasing it futilely as I continued to warn Makala to flee.

I watched as it rose when it started hitting the shallow water, rising out of the water like an agitated grizzly standing on its hind legs, beautiful and lethal.

In an act of sheer desperation of my uselessness, I began to fight the fast-retreating wave. However, it seemed I was not moving at all, or the wave was traveling so fast I was making no gain on it. I hazarded a quick glance ahead of me to the beach to see if either Makala or Jax were visible. I was still a couple thousand feet out to sea, and only the trees on the top half of the ridge above the beach were in my line of sight. A wall of a million gallons of water now obstructed my view of even most of the sea stacks rising out of the ocean. I looked up the hill toward Paul's house.

Nothing. _Where are they? _

Fear enveloped me like a suffocating blanket.

The wave was just starting to reach the southernmost sections of the beach. A careening wall of destruction that lifted the logs of the driftwood pile as if they were match sticks. Surviving the wave was one thing, surviving its debris was another thing entirely.

My panic palpable now, I looked anxiously again, over the top of the surge that was obstructing my view, to the trail above the outcropping on the far side of the beach. My heart soared as both Makala and Jax's forms became visible, at the fact they were going to make it.

_They were safe!_

I continued my paddling and finally began to make some headway toward the beach that was being battered by the thundering wave. My eyes locked on the two figures ascending up the trail. Countless moments later, I witnessed the last of the massive wall crash against the sea stacks, and continue to the beach behind it.

But the breaking torrent that slammed into the outcropping was followed by an equal volume of water behind it. It slid over the first part of the surge and spilled onto the rocks, creeping up the hill like a white shadow.

Time stood still as I watched, helpless, the water chase after my charges.

When the girl and dog were probably ten yards from the stairs, halfway up the hill, they were both overtaken by the flood that had been nipping at their heels.

I watched in horror as their flaying limbs sunk beneath the water in slow motion, and they were pulled back into the grasps of the Pacific Ocean.

I heard a strangled "NOOOOOO!" ring in my ears, and I wasn't sure if it was me or someone else that had screamed the word. Then it seemed as if all sound stopped, as my heart sank to the ocean floor.

I blinked. _ What the hell should I do?_

_Anything! Everything you can!_

I blinked again.

_MOVE!_

I began paddled furiously toward the shore to the soundtrack of my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I fought my way toward the waves swirling and ricocheting off the rocks and the side of the hill along the beach. My vision skipped along the surface of the churning water searching for the canine and girl.

Adrenaline fueled my fevered strokes, the sense of urgency far beyond tangible now. Time and the retreating current passed by me in a blur in my advance to do whatever I could.

And I prayed. I prayed to all deities I could remember to let the little angel survive this.

I was almost halfway back to shore when I saw Jax pop up out of the white rapids a hundred yards in front of me toward the right, clasped in his jaws was an unconscious girl. I turned the board the best I could in the choppy waves and made my way to them. I clung to the board as the ebbing surge swirled around me. If I fell in the water, the little girl's life would be lost, probably mine as well.

Minutes later, I reached them and lifted the small girl on the board in front of me.

She fucking wasn't breathing!

I swallowed the sob in my throat. There was no time for that.

I hurriedly unclasped the board rope from my ankle and threw blindly toward Jax. "Follow," I ordered, not taking the time to speak the command in Quileute or to verify that he even understood.

Hard, deliberate strokes got me back to the battered beach in what felt like seconds later. I don't know how I got to shore so fast, but I was sure the hand of Aeolus himself was pushing me there. Making up for Poseidon's surprise.

When I knew I could stand, I grabbed Makala and ran through the surf to the sand ahead. I dropped to my knees, gently laying the child down. Her lips were blue, and her normally russet skin was as pale as mine.

I closed my eyes, praying for another miracle.

* * *

_~ B of L ~_

3rd person POV:

Eagles soared high above the ravaged beach and watched the scene beneath them. The spray from when the rogue wave had crashed against the sea stack had caused them to abandon their home temporarily. But their nest was safe, so they watched below as Bella began to feverishly perform CPR on the lifeless little girl. A wet dog raced up the trail that only minutes before had been submerged. They waited patiently for the waters to recede so that they could feast on the trapped fish in the tidal pools.

"Breathe! Honey, breathe!" Bella ordered, tears running down her face. Makala couldn't die. It would destroy Hank.

"Breathe! Goddamn it!"

Bella was startled away from her crazed attempts to save the girl. Her bag was being laid before her by her forgotten sidekick, a phone tumbling out of it.

Bella looked up at the dog in stunned silence, completely bewildered. After staring into Jax's knowing eyes a few, short seconds, she shook her head out of the awed fog and quickly dialed 9-1-1. She gave the dispatcher all the needed information and threw the phone to the side as she continued her desperate attempts to save the young girl.

_ I'm not going to let this happen_, Bella vehemently screamed in her head.

A blind determination overtook Bella as she kept up her resuscitation efforts. But as defeat began to creep into her mind like a poisonous cancer, a rage she had never known overcame her.

She closed her eyes and screamed, "You enjoy this? Taking someone else away from me. Were the other times not rewarding enough for you? Did I not suffer enough, that this time you make me watch? Give me a front row seat!"

As her emotions began to catch up with her, Bella hugged the lifeless girl into her chest. "Take me. Let her live and take me!" she begged. "Please."

Bella collapsed over the girl as she lowered her back to the sand. Sobs broke out of her chest. She wept for Hank, and his grandson. Even Old Quil.

Makala had such a radiance about her, a light within that it would be a crime to dim out at ninety, let alone nine.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

But that's life; it rarely is fair.

Why would death be any different?

Bella seethed in anger at the injustice of it all and snapped her head up.

"No!" she screamed. "You can't have her, you bastard!"

She brought her hands back down on the girl's sternum, resuming chest compressions again, and gave her mouth to mouth. An indescribably painful amount of time later, Bella felt resistance as she breathed her life into the little girl. The girl began to cough violently, and Bella turned her on her side to help ease the draining of her lungs. Bella wanted to jump for joy as she watched Makala fight her way back from the abyss.

"Makala? Makala, can you hear me?"

The girl blinked her innocent eyes open, squinting in the rare sunlight shining down on her.

"Makala, are you okay?" Bella implored, as she brushed some hair out of the girl's face.

"Mommy?" Makala rasped out in a whisper. Before Bella could respond, the girl's eyes rolled into her head and she lost consciousness.

Petrified she had died; Bella checked her pulse and found it was beating. She dropped her ear to the girl's mouth and heard her labored breathing. Tears of profound relief rolled down Bella's cheeks at the presence of both.

Afraid to move her any more than she already had, Bella sat back on her feet and spoke soothing words to the girl as they waited for help.

When Bella heard the sirens, she looked at the young girl, reluctant to leave her. When she turned to look for Jax, she found his retreating form running up the trail. She had instructed the paramedics to go to Paul's house and described where to find the trail. Time was of the essence here and it would be much quicker than them having to hike from the usual parking lot.

Jax returned five minutes later with two EMT's on his heels. They were wide-eyed as they surveyed the destruction, seeing the driftwood scattered everywhere. Bella brought them back to reality by explaining what she had done and how long she estimated Makala had been unconscious. They began to quickly work, laying her out on the stretcher.

Grabbing Jax's collar for the much-needed extra momentum, Bella followed stoically behind them as they started up the trail.

After Makala was loaded, Bella was ready to get into a fist fight with the two men when they would not allow the dog to come with them. Deep down she knew it was not a reasonable request, but without Jax, Makala would have died. Bella had no doubt of that fact.

She bent down and kissed between his eyes while she rubbed his ears. "You did good boy, so good. You saved her." He wagged his tail in acknowledgment, and nudged her into the waiting ambulance.

As the ambulance sirens wailed and they began moving, Bella overheard the men debating where to take the small girl: Forks or La Push. The conversation seemed asinine to Bella, as there was no way the tiny La Push clinic could accommodate this level of trauma. Hell, to her knowledge there wasn't a doctor in La Push. She made it clear the girl would go to Forks General, end of discussion. The men looked at her warily but complied.

She dug out her phone and dialed Old Quil's number, the only number stored in it, asking him to get in touch with Hank Wilde. Their conversation was brief, and when she had hung up the cell, she grabbed Makala's hand and squeezed it.

* * *

**_~ B of L ~_**

A cold, ominous feeling engulfed Bella as they approached the hospital. It felt like death was waiting within, watching and waiting to claim its next victim. Shivering, Bella quickly followed the EMTs as they wheeled Makala inside. Doctors rushed quickly to assess her injuries, questions flying at a frenzied pace to the EMTs and herself.

Bella backed against the wall as the medical staff stabilized the young girl. A plump nurse looked at her and told her to wait in the waiting room, to which the teen ignored. Before the nurse could start again, a doctor barked an order at her and she scurried away with an indignant look on her face.

Bella remained as quiet as the grave as they continued examining Makala, flinching as they inserted the IVs and the oxygen mask. The staff remained occupied and did not notice the somber faced young woman in the corner. When they transported the small girl to her own room in the ICU section, Bella followed behind. The doctor, Dr. Gerandy, looked at her for a second but said nothing.

Bella was sure she was a mess. There were scraps all over her exposed forearms and legs from the silt and debris dredged up from the wave. She knew her face was splotchy and her eyes were red from the trauma of it all.

"You need to go the waiting area, Miss," the Nurse Rachet-like woman said from the door of the room, bringing Bella back from her thoughts.

"No."

An incredulous look crossed the woman's features before she narrowed her eyes at the teen sitting beside the patient. "You are not permitted in here. Only family is allowed in with patients, who you are clearly not."

Bella kept her eyes closed and tried to qualm the temper that was rising within her like a tempest. She had Makala's cold, right hand encased in both of hers. Deciding to treat the woman like the annoying car alarm outside the hospital, she blocked the words out.

"You will leave, or I will have you removed. I don't give a damn who your father is," the nurse seethed in anger.

Bella's eyes snapped open and she looked the nurse dead in the eyes. The nurse flinched back at the malice behind them. Speaking her words in a calm and cold tone that gave the words a slightly menacing quality, Bella addressed the bitter nurse."Go ahead and try to get me out. I dare you. I'm not leaving her by herself."

"It is against hospital policy for you to be in here," the nurse declared bitingly. She was pissed at how easily the young woman was thwarting her mission.

"I'm not a fucking dog lady. I have every right to be here. Especially today. So just leave us be. This fucking place has never seen the hell I will raise if you ATTEMPT to remove me. I'm. Not. Leaving. Her." Each word increased in both volume and venom. The bitch was getting on her last nerve. She couldn't fathom why this was of such importance, but she didn't give a rat's ass. She wouldn't abandon the girl now.

Nurse Rachet, or Michelle as her name tag implied, stood with her mouth agape at Bella's words.

"You got kids?" Bella demanded as her eyes bored into the shocked nurse's. The woman nodded her head in reply. "If it was them lying here, would you want them to be scared and alone or have someone here holding their hand until you got there. Call her my sister or hell my daughter for all I care. Whatever bullshit you have to think up. But I'm not leaving until her grandfather gets here."

The nurse stood in stunned silence for a moment before she nodded her head. Choosing to pick her battle elsewhere, the nurse finally left resigned.

In the now almost empty room, Bella pondered on what had happened over the last two hours. It was a miracle she hadn't been caught in the chaos of the wave. There was no doubt whatsoever that if she had been closer to the shore or on the beach she would have drowned. It came up so fast, literally out of the clear blue horizon.

Minutes ticked away, a thousand memories and questions running through Bella's mind as she held tightly to the young girl's hand.

* * *

When Hank Wilde walked into the room he stopped to look at the scene. His granddaughter lay prone in the hospital bed, unresponsive. The beeps of the machine to her left, the only indication that she was alive.

Noting the dichotomy of the two girls in front of him, he couldn't help but be reminded of his daughter, Jane. Bella represented a whole other life that his daughter could have chosen. It hurt him to even think like that, he loved his grandchildren greatly. But their father had ruined his precious daughter.

To see Bella Swan, of all people, guarding protectively over his little granddaughter like a mama bear protecting her cubs was beyond ironic. She was a perfect blend of beauty and ferocity. She seemed to be Helen reincarnate: loyal, loving, but with a wickedly sharp tongue. She was perfect for his grandson, just the type of woman to push and challenge him. But give him the love he so desperately needed. There was not a doubt in Hank's mind, looking at Bella sleeping beside his granddaughter, that she already loved Makala, at least on a subconscious level.

He could only hope that Paul didn't try to push her away in a moronic attempt to guard his heart. From what Hank had seen already, she was a fighter. He silently chuckled at all the trouble the attending physician mentioned she was giving the nursing staff, refusing to leave Makala until someone else could stay and hold her tiny hand.

Dr. Jamison mentioned the paramedics reported that Bella had pulled her out of the water and performed CPR on her until Makala revived, only to lose consciousness shortly afterwards. Makala hadn't woken up since, but Bella never left her side from the time she entered the hospital. The doctor told Hank that without Bella's valiant efforts his granddaughter would have died on that beach.

He knew Paul was going to be livid that Bella had insisted that the girl was brought to Forks. But even Hank knew it was the right call. That her level thinking had undoubtedly saved Makala's life.

Twice.

Hank honestly didn't know what either of them would have done if Makala hadn't survived. The boy had so much responsibility on his broad shoulders and had dealt with so much tragedy already.

The elderly man was concerned enough where Paul was. He had picked Makala up to take to the beach, and it seemed the next thing he knew Quil III was calling him. They had rushed to the hospital together, leaving messages in the usual places to call them.

He had no idea where Paul was, but he did recall hearing a few howls shortly before Quil III called though.

Hank walked to the young brunette woman resting her head on the mattress, his granddaughter's hand clutched tightly in hers, mumbling under her breath about not letting the bastard win.

Outside the window, along the lower branches of a Sitka within the tree-line, someone watched the scene inside Makala Lahote's room with great interest. The figure sank into the cover of the tree as the sun peeked back out from a lone cloud, cascading rays of light down below. After watching Hank thank Bella once again, the vampire leapt from its perch. With the agility of its kind, the vampire gracefully swung among the branches until its feet hit the forest floor. Sparing one last glance at the humans in the hospital room, it turned and dashed quickly away.

* * *

**_~ B of L ~_**

A dazed Bella walked out of the ICU, exhausted and in pain. A migraine the size of Texas was assaulting her mercilessly, and a constant roaring was in her ears. Pushing the swinging doors into the waiting room, her eyes immediately found Old Quil's light grey ones. And just like the wave earlier, she couldn't hold back the flood of emotions. She walked into the wise man's awaiting arms, sobbing violently as all her fear of the past morning crashed onto her like a fucking anvil.

Across the large room, Charlie Swan watched with narrowed eyes as someone other than him consoled his daughter. Even though deep inside he knew he had no right to the jealousy that slammed into him, he couldn't help but silently curse the old man.

He observed as Old Quil cooed assurances that he couldn't hear and make inaudible jokes that turned Bella's sobs into reluctant giggles. Charlie seethed in silent anger as he saw the patriarch pull his keys out of his pocket and give them to Bella. There was no way she would accept a ride back home or to La Push for her vehicle now, if there ever really was.

After thanking Old Quil for the use of his vehicle, Bella gave him another quick hug and turned to leave the hospital.

The minute she did, her eyes met those of Charlie. _It figures someone would call him,_ she thought. _He ignores me for most of my life and now he's like a fucking bad penny, turning up all over the place._

Charlie gave Bella a relieved smile and excused himself so that he could give her a hug. She could have been killed today.

Aware of his intent, Bella quickly raised a hand to stop his advance. "I'm okay." She saw the hurt briefly cross his features, but didn't concern herself about it. It was all for show anyway; there was an audience.

"Bella, this is Dr. Cullen," Charlie gestured to the pale man standing beside him.

"It's lovely to meet you Ms. Swan, circumstances notwithstanding," the man greeted with a small but saccharine smile. "Your father has told me so much about you."

_Doubtful, he fucking doesn't know me at all,_ she thought. She just stared at the man in front of her, no emotion on her face except annoyance. He reminded her of someone; someone she had seen recently. She just couldn't place it in her addled state.

"Your father would be more comfortable if I could give you a quick once over. Make sure your okay."

"I'm sure he would," she gritted through her teeth, giving her father a murderous glare.

"Sometimes the adrenaline delays people from feeling injuries..." the physician tried to reason before he was cut off. He was staring at the female in front of him apprehensively. Her eyes shone with fury as she stared at her father, her fists clenched tightly.

"Listen, I'm fine. I'm tired. I just want to crash for the next week." Bella's head was absolutely killing her, and she felt like her sanity was rapidly fraying, like the end of a old, weathered rope.

"Bella, " Charlie said, his tone sharp and disapproving. He sighed; she was so damn stubborn, just like his mother. Just like him.

"Goodbye," Bella uttered, already halfway turned toward the door. She looked at her hands that were trembling slightly with her anxiety to get the fuck out of dodge.

Charlie stood beside the blonde doctor as he watched his daughter storm away, running away. Not because she was a coward or scared, but because she was too fucking brave and stubborn for her own good.

He sighed in frustration again, looking over to Dr. Cullen. "I apologize for her behavior. She is very angry with me, and I'm afraid you just got caught in the crossfire. I'll be in touch."

"No need to apologize. She has had a difficult day," the physician appeased as he listened to the girl's heart rate quicken as she walked quickly away from them.

* * *

Quil Ateara III narrowed his eyes as he watched the exchange between the Swans and the bloodsucker.

He had not seen Bella with Charlie since she came back to Washington and what he had just witnessed left him full of questions. However, he was not surprised considering what Billy had mentioned to him the other day. The hostility Bella had toward Charlie was almost palpable. Old Quil was relieved to see that she was giving Cullen a wide berth too. She seemed confused about something, but had no inclination to stay long enough to figure it out.

After Bella had moved away as a child, her relationship with Charlie had been superficial at best, but why? Old Quil would admit that he had not been paying attention around that time. He had lost Quil IV shortly before the Swans divorce, and grief had consumed Molly and him.

Looking back now, Charlie had been distant during Bella's visits. He had been on a boat with Harry and Billy more than he was with his daughter who lived twelve-hundred miles away. _Why did I not question that at the time?_ Old Quil asked himself. When she was in Arizona, Old Quil's had asked Charlie about her. Charlie's replies had been vague at best, which Old Quil had taken as sorrow at her absence. Only with the news she was coming back to Washington did his demeanor change.

But Bella never mentioned Charlie. Ever. Even as a child, she never had much to say about either of her parents. And she had been gone so long, since Helen died. Old Quil had thought that was odd, considering she and the boys had always had so much fun together. She loved La Push. He had thought her mother was the reason for her absence; that had been Charlie's story.

But what if it wasn't?

And he didn't need his grandsons' enhanced eyesight to see Cullen's interest in Bella. What the hell was Charlie thinking?

* * *

Bella felt the eyes of both men as she walked briskly away from them. Looking ahead, she could see both of their stoic expressions in the reflections in front of her. A set of glowing gold and haunted hazel eyes tracking her movements as she near flew forward. She didn't dare look back.

She didn't slow her pace at all as she neared the automatic doors, fear of doing so would prevent her escape. The Gods showed her favor once again as just before her face planted into the glass panes of the automatic doors, they slide open, parting like the Red Sea.

Delivering her out of the mouth of hell.

As she heard the doors slide closed behind her, she inhaled a deep, delicious breath. Mixed along with all of the other smells of pine, rain, and the sea that she had always loved about Washington was the most exquisite scent of all, freedom.

* * *

_A/N Thanks for reading!_

_I love this chapter. I've had the idea since the beginning but had to lead up to it. _

___The playlist for this chapter is from the Kick-Ass score (brilliant!). Recommend listening to tracks 'Safehouse/Ambush', 'Nightvision', 'Hit Girl Drives Home', and 'Big Daddy Kills'. I have uploaded these to my group on TrickyRaven and JBNP. _I happened to be listening to a shuffle at work when I heard the songs and I thought they were perfect for this chapter.

_Things are going to start speeding up now._


	13. Chapter 12: Hemorrhage

_A/N Thanks for all the help and support of August Shaffer, MoonWolfRunner, feebes 86, and Mist. They help keep my stupid moments at a minimum. A massive thanks to WestCoast Angel for the gorgeous new banner for this story. Link on my profile._

_And to all the readers of this story, THANK YOU for sticking with me. I heart you all! _

_ I needed a tissue when writing this, so heads up. Hope you guys like. Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters, I merely play in her sandbox._

* * *

_**~B of L~**_

**Chapter 12: Hemorrhage**

**Songs: Hemorrhage (In My Hands) - Fuel; Not Gonna To Make Nice - Dixie Chicks**

'Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

'I'm through with doubt

There's nothing left for me to figure out

I've paid a price

And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down

I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time

To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself

To do what it is you think I should'

Not Ready To Make Nice - Dixie Chicks

_**Previously on Breath of Life:**_

_As she heard the doors slide closed behind her, she inhaled a deep, delicious breath. Mixed along with all of the other smells of pine, rain, and the sea that she had always loved about Washington was the most exquisite scent of all, freedom._

* * *

_**BPOV**_

My levity was short-lived when I saw Charlie storm out of the hospital after me. The look on his face was a strange mix of determination and apprehension.

_Now? You want to do this now?_

We hadn't seen each other really since breakfast at the Blacks, and we hadn't spoken more than one word sentences since his accusations against Paul. Of all the times he could have approached me to talk, he picked now.

_Men were fucking clueless!_

"I know you are upset with me, but you were terribly rude to Dr. Cullen."

_Really? That's what this is about?_

"Do you know what I have gone through today? My apologies for not feeling like shooting the shit with you and Dr. Jekyll. You never want to talk when we are alone."

"That's not fair Bella. I have tried to spend time with you, but you are always gone."

"Three weeks hardly makes you Father of the Year." Silence fell between us with my snarky reply.

"So, tell me, what was the reason for your change of heart," I asked conversationally.

"This is not the place for this discussion. You're upset. You should rest," Charlie back pedaled. He realized a little too late that he had opened Pandora's Box. I could see the fear in his eyes.

"No, you're wrong. This is EXACTLY the time." _I am so done with his avoidance._

"Bella..." Charlie stared at me with a look of pure and utter sorrow. Any other person and any other conversation, I would have been inclined to stop.

But I needed to know. And he needed to admit it.

"What did I do? Do you have any idea how long I have wondered about that?"

He was silent as ever.

"Do you know what my first memory was?" I asked rhetorically.

"I wasn't even four years old, but I remember that visit like it was yesterday." I began as I stared into his hazel eyes. "Grandma Marie had put me in a new dress, and fixed my hair in pigtails with little pink ribbons to match my dress. She drove me to the airport and put me in the care of the airline. The flight attendants fawned over me and I had felt like a princess. I was so excited! Because I was coming home, coming to see you." I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself.

"And then I got off the plane. I saw you waiting for me and I ran and hugged your legs. You patted the top of my head briefly and turned to leave. You didn't say one word to me in the entire car ride. Not one. Not _'Good to see you!'_ or _'How did you like your first time on a plane?'_"

"Bella..." Charlie choked out.

"So, that drive was my earliest memory. The feeling of disappointment that was almost palpable as I sat there and stared down at my little white sandals." And that was the last time Charlie had spent two hours alone with me for the next eleven years. Not until he drove me to the airport after Gran died.

"Instead of driving me home to your apartment, you took me straight to Gran's. I was devastated. I didn't know what I did wrong. I wasn't sure if you didn't like my dress or if you were mad at me for leaving with Renee.

"And the worst part hadn't been how you acted; I had quickly accepted that was the way it was. It wasn't really any different in how Renee treated me. Nana practically raised me until we moved to Arizona. No, the worst part was never knowing what I did wrong."

I looked away from the forest I had been staring at, and looked into Charlie Swan's tear filled eyes.

"That was a difficult visit, but it passed. And the rest of them were good, even fun. Gran had made sure if I wasn't being entertained by the three musketeers, her and me were in the kitchen or antiquing. I never made the mistake of expecting anything from you. You were always an invisible entity most of the time."

"Bella, please." He pleaded. He looked back to the hospital. Probably concerned someone would hear how much he differed from Sheriff Taylor, or any other decent father of film or television.

"No, really. I want to know. I think I deserve to know."

_Was it being born at all? Was it because I was not enough?_

"Your mother..."

_"NO!_ What did _I_ do to you? _I'm_ the one who had to deal with the anger. _I'm_ the one you treated like... shit. What did _I_ do? Did_ I_ throw rocks at your car? Did_ I_ embarrass you in front of coworkers? What could_ I_ have possibly done to make you hate me so much?"

Charlie didn't move a muscle, even his chest was not moving. I held my contemptuous glare on him, unwilling to let this pass. As my head throbbed harder with each passing moment, my patience melted like a snow-cone in Phoenix.

"I WANT TO KNOW! What did I do? What did I not do?" I felt traitorous tears begin to fill my eyes.

"Your mother had an affair. She told me you were not my daughter."

I laughed humorlessly. It figures I got stuck with my mother's shit again.

"Well, there you have it. Perfect explanation," I quipped, the words dripping in sarcasm.

Silence descended between us for a moment. He had his head lowered in shame while I contemplated just going ahead and leaving.

They say that the truth will set you free. I had always felt that 'they' were liars.

I couldn't help but wonder who the little home wrecker could be. My mind immediately envisioned Harry Clearwater.

That would explain a lot.

Sue and Leah's disdain and Seth's indifference. The strange looks I got from Harry, a mix of curiosity and sadness.

Although we got along about as well as oil and water, I knew Charlie well enough that he would have never remained close friends with Harry if he knew of the affair. He had someone else in mind. Someone he would have immediately cut out of his life, or had despised to begin with.

I wondered who it could be, but then decided to forget it. He would only be the same as all the worthless pieces of shit that my mother had fucked all of her life. God knows I couldn't denounce her; I was the spitting image of her except for darker eyes, hair, and complexion.

No, not knowing was better. I'd take a page out of Embry's play book. He had always been at ease about his lack of a father, saying that his sperm donor did not define him.

I hugged him every time I heard him say it.

I shook my head to clear it, fully prepared to be content with my bastard's daughter status. It seemed fitting considering I was the daughter of a whore.

But, as always, curiosity dug its claws in and pried open my mouth.

"So, who is he?"

"Who?"

"My father. Who is my father?"

"Bella, I am your father." I couldn't swallow the snicker to his reply. Mainly because I was imaging Quil deep-breathing like Darth Vader, while Jake and Embry hummed his theme music.

"No, you're not. You never were. Let me rephrase the question. Who was the sperm donor?"

Charlie's gruff voice replied, "Bella, she lied to me. Alright, she lied so I would let you go."

"You would have found that out with a test. That explains maybe six months, tops. There is a decade past that."

"I... I never asked your mother for a paternity test." My jaw dropped of its own volition at his confession.

"So, you let me go on your cheating wife's word?" I asked incredulously. _Dumbass! He's even more gullible than Phil is._

He didn't answer. He just merely looked down at the concrete for a crack to crawl into.

"Well, you know, good for you. You got rid of all of your baggage and got to live the life of a bachelor," I sneered.

"Why the charade though? Why pay to ship me back every Christmas and summer if I wasn't yours? When you didn't pay for anything else? Why..."

I stopped my inquiries as clarity struck me for the first time this afternoon, while I ignored the confused expression on his face.

"Gran. Gran paid for all that, didn't she?" I asked rhetorically. "Of course, I was the daughter she never had."

"So you tolerate my visits for your mother's sake. Wow, at least you were are a good son," I muttered sardonically to myself, but I was sure he heard it as he flinched.

My hand rose to my chest at the mention of my grandmother. I lifted my face to the early afternoon sun, the warmth acting as a balm to my aching heart.

"But she's dead Charlie. You don't need to pretend, because she'll never know. I never said a word to her about you. Okay, so don't worry."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I tried. I tried but you didn't want anything to do with me..." he started but I cut him off.

"Why would I? You didn't even attempt to contact me in over eighteen months, and then you showed up out of the blue. And that right there was what infuriated me so damn much!

"What happened to make you change your ways all of a sudden? Nothing happened on my end. I was a pariah to you for around twelve or thirteen years. I was as dead to you as Gran. Maybe deader, because you never wanted to admit I was alive in the first place. You would have wrestled lions to avoid spending time with me. What changed? Nothing that you found in Phoenix should have changed your opinion. I would have not been your daughter then too. So, what happened?"

I bore my eyes into his while I waited for his answer, resolved to get it.

Charlie closed his eyes for a moment, and then looked at me with a defeated look on his face. "A nurse commented that I was probably your father considering our blood types. We had a paternity test performed."

"Without my consent? I hissed, my hands clinching into fists.

"Yes." he replied apologetically. "Bella, it confirmed that I am indeed your father. I..."

"Sperm donor!" I snapped. "That's all it fucking proved! What did that slip of paper change, really?" I asked rhetorically.

I saw a few people turn to look at us that were approaching the hospital. I thought I could see Old Quil watching our conversation from a window, but I wasn't sure.

I took a deep breath to qualm my fury.

"Why didn't you move to Phoenix? Why didn't you try to be there? Or tell someone who might have cared about me, about what was going on. You spent a week and then all of four weekends with me in the last two and a half years. That's hardly an attempt."

"It was so hard..."

"Nothing worth having is easy. And hard on you? What the fuck? You don't have any idea what I have had to endure in my life because of the people who were meant to look after me. Love me. All I had to deal with from you was emotional neglect. My time with Renee was so much worse. Not as bad as what some kids go through, but bad enough."

_And then there is all the shit I can't blame on either of you._

"The only link I ever had to you is buried in the cemetery on Calawah Way, Gran. Papa and her were the only parents I ever had. And they are gone. I'm an orphan Charlie. I have been for over four years."

I sighed. The adrenaline had completely left my system. I was so tired. "I will try to be out of the house by the end of the month. I need to figure what I'm doing and what to do about Jax."

"But you..." he began to argue, struggling to keep his composure. He actually looked crushed. I'm sure he was going to argue about school, but we both knew that was a joke.

I didn't come back for him, or school, or to get away from Renee. I came back for me.

"I can't stay here. I came here to say goodbye to Gran. Not to play make believe with you." I watched as tears ran down Charlie's cheeks, a sight I had never seen. Something bubbled up inside of me at the sight. Pity.

But as sorry as I felt for bringing him to tears, it was still too little, much too late.

"It was my mistake coming back, and I apologize for putting us both through this. For using you in the way I did. I gave you hope, and it was wrong for me to do that." My breath hitched as I continued, "I... I just wanted a little more time with her." _You will not break down here. You will NOT! It was bad enough you let him see you cry after Gran died._

Charlie closed his eyes as he lowered his head and a few more tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Listen..." I stopped as I caught sight of the little boy from my dreams, hiding behind Charlie. I closed my eyes and shook my throbbing head, trying to clear my vision. But when I reopened them, he was still there.

I swallowed a nervous laugh before it could escape when he peeked from behind Charlie's legs and stuck his tongue out at me. Shocked into silence, I stared in bewilderment at the grinning child. He looked up at Charlie's broken face, and his smile fell. He gave me a saddened pout, instantly making me feel like crap. I felt like he was looking down on me, when he was only a little over two feet tall.

"But we had some decent times together," I conceded. "That movie day was actually really... nice." Charlie gave me a reluctant smile, and nodded his head. He knew that one day in fifteen years was hardly the foundation of a relationship.

And that, just like Renee, his time had run out.

"Isabella," he whispered, trying to choke back a sob. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. God knows I will never be able to make up the time I lost, the wrongs I have done. My stubborn, idiotic pride has cost me my daughter. But please... please don't leave before I can even try to make it up to you. Before I can get to know you."

I looked at Charlie for a few short moments, then down to the toddler now standing by his side. My heart ached at the look in both their eyes. But I couldn't forgive him when he still wouldn't tell me everything.

My voice, softened by remorse and regret, broke the silence as I addressed Charlie while my eyes held both dark-grey and hazel eyes. "I'm sorry."

I quickly turned to find Old Quil's car.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," I replied over my shoulder without slowing my pace.

_To the closest thing I ever had to home._

* * *

**_~ B of L ~_**

Charlie followed me in his cruiser until he realized where I was going. Then, I saw him turn off the road and turn around. I'm sure he went to his house to lick his wounds, not wanting to hear anything else from me. I didn't pull any punches with him. But they were words that needed to be said, that should have been said over a decade ago. I just needed my proverbial lady-balls to drop first.

Once I was out of the city limits, tears began to fall. I drove along the 101 silently, sniffing every so often, when I felt my nose running slightly. Too upset to care about my usual OCD behavior, I lifted the back of my hand to my nose. But when I returned my hand to the steering wheel, it was covered in crimson blood.

_Perfect!_

I quickly pulled over to the side of the road and rolled down the window. The sight of blood made me nauseous, but not as bad as when I thought I could smell it. _Perhaps my father was a blood hound_; I thought and then shook my head at my lame humor. I dug some Kleenex out of my bag and stuffed my nose with tissue to temporarily block the bleeding. They usually stopped quickly, only lasting long enough to be a nuisance. I grabbed a few antibacterial wipes and cleaned the steering wheel and gear shift down so I would be able to look Old Quil in the eye again.

After I got back on the road I drove directly to Paul's place to get my truck. Old Quil had assured me that Quil V could hoof it to get it later.

I slowly walked to the trial head and looked down at the ravaged beach below, wondering how the hell either of us had survived. Driftwood, moved effortlessly as if they were mere twigs, was lying in disarray all over the beach. A few days time and the beach would look nothing had ever happened. The tide would gradually push the logs back to the tree line, and even now some logs were floating in the rising tide.

But I felt fundamentally different. Like the event was a catalyst to some huge change in my life.

And I hated change.

I pulled into Old Quil's driveway a little later and shut off the engine. I rested my head against the steering wheel and sighed. Today was definitely listed in my top-five worst days ever.

Jax greeted me once I got out. Old Quil had told me that the canine was outside his house when he left to get Hank. I petted his head as I walked toward the garage.

The garage door was open and reminded me that my board was still in the water at Second Beach, although I hadn't noticed it earlier. It would have to just stay there. I wasn't sure when, or if, I could go back down there.

I made my way inside the small building to a rubber tote overflowing with cooking magazines on the top. There were a few advantages of a good memory. For example, a remembered conversation between Molly and Gran about where Old Quil liked to hide his shine. Not that I needed to remember, I could almost see the fumes rising from the tub.

I let myself inside the house and found a couple gallon sized thermoses. I filled one with ice water and the other with just ice and a couple of Red Solo cups. Then, I made me a couple sandwiches and ate.

I looked to the empty chair beside me, missing my usual breakfast companion. Paul and I had gotten into a routine and now it was over. I missed the disgusting way he would inhale his food. I wondered what, or if, he missed anything about me.

Once I had cleaned after lunch, I went to the pantry. Looking through its contents, I dug out an old wicker basket I remembered Molly using on picnics. I made sure to grab a liter of cranberry juice that might take the sting out of the shine. Going to the linen closet, I grabbed a blanket and two pillows. I dragged it all back to garage, and I found Quil's camping pack and sleeping bag. I filled them with everything I would need for a few days.

I went back inside and took a long, hot shower, considering it would probably be my last for several days.

While the soothing water relaxed my tense muscles, I thought about how I had to move on from all this. I couldn't let this shit hold me down any longer than it already had. I had to stop chasing demons and just cut off the monster's head. I'd forgive Charlie... in time. From several states away.

I wondered if Gran knew. I doubt that I could handle if the person I had trusted the most in my life had kept this from me. I couldn't stomach that kind of omission from her. She was always to the point about everything.

Except for Charlie. She never spoke about what was up his ass with regard to me. I figure she hadn't known and wouldn't speak to me if she was only operating on assumptions. And I couldn't fault her for that.

Then there was Nana. She had always chastised Renee about something; however, it was never when I was within earshot. She must have bitched so much that Renee had moved away from the Riverside area, with me in tow, to escape her nagging.

They were very alike in many ways - petite frame, complexion, free-spirit, and a horrible taste in men. But time had tempered Marie Higgonbotham's wild side and her red locks.

I climbed out of the shower and changed into some clothes from my bag. I had washed my spring suit and bikini over lunch; so, I hung them on a hanger to take with me. I went into Quil's room and grabbed a couple of shirts to sleep in and then went to Joy's room to find few pairs shorts and tanks. I would just have to wash my panties in the stream; no way I could 'borrow' those.

I called into work, and Mr. Newton was fine with me taking a couple of days off. I would stay away from everything. I'd call Old Quil if I didn't hear from him by morning to check on Makala. I would go visit her when she woke up. I only planned to be gone a few days unless Hank needed me, but I had provisions for near a week.

I drove the truck as close as I could to the campsite, and parked my truck in some overgrowth to hide it from passersby. Regretting the fact I was my own pack mule, I had to make two trips to get everything.

I walked to the edge of the cliffs overlooking Third Beach, the ocean breeze blowing into my face. It was just as beautiful as I remembered. It was a protected inlet, so I wasn't surprised when it didn't seem to have any damage from the wave that struck Second Beach. It was more of a swimming and sun-bathing beach. I had overheard at the hospital that a large wave did crash into the cliffs at First Beach, but thankfully nobody was hurt.

Jake, Quil, Embry and I used to camp in this place as children with Papa and Old Quil. When we got old enough that they had trusted us not fall off the edge, we had camped by ourselves. We had cliff dived, snorkeled, and explored underwater caves until hunger called us back to camp. Then we would joke around roasting marshmallows and telling tall tales until we collapsed into our tents.

Smiling at the memories, I readied the tent and setup the campfire but didn't bother starting it. Once the sleeping bag was laid down with the blanket over it were all settled in the tent, I changed into sleep attire even though it was four in the afternoon.

I was spent.

Hollering for Jax to come inside the tent, I swallowed three Motrin and laid down for a nap.

I was fast asleep before my head completely settled on the pillow.

* * *

_I came out of the forest at what I recognized immediately as the cliffs overlooking Third Beach. Looking ahead, my eyes caught a familiar figure sitting close to the edge. The little boy sat contently as he looked out at sea, and I couldn't help but be concerned about his safety. I hesitantly approached him, half expecting him to bolt like every other time. However, he turned and gave me an infectious smile and beckoned me to him._

_I sat down, several feet behind him. He looked at me and then scooted back to a safe distance from the cliff's edge beside me._

_He gave a little wave to the sea, and when I looked up, I smiled. A pod of whales were sunning in the rare sun. One came flying out of the water, making me jump slightly, and twirled like a falling leaf. With the same agility it possessed in the water, it fell gracefully back to the ocean below. A huge splash of water billowed to the sky as it disappeared beneath the surface again, and I could almost fell the cool spray from where I sat._

_We sat in comfortable silence before I decided to try to learn a little bit about him._

_"Do you have a name?"_

_He gave me a wry grin, in what I perceived as a challenge for me to guess._

_"Is it Buddy?" I asked my first guess, although I had a suspicion that was not his name. The boy in the picture, that was clearly Makala's elusive brother Buddy, looked similar but different than the boy sitting next to me. This boy's complexion was considerably lighter than Hank Wilde' s grandson was. The boy looking at the sea had a skin tone that was a beautiful, deep tan._

_He shook his head no, while continuing to watch the whales frolic. I pondered for a while, going over names that I had always liked and settling on one that was a favorite of mine and a little ironic._

_"Can I call you Chase? I've always liked that name. A handsome name for a handsome boy."_

_He turned to me and rose to his feet. Before I could react, he was in my arms giving me the two-year-old equivalent of a bear hug._

_"I'll take that as a yes," I chuckled as I wrapped my arms around him. Warmth surrounded my heart at his display of affection, and I realized just how much I truly had needed it. The comfort that his hug evoked, the serenity I drew from the scent of his hair._

_Makala had stirred something in me, a fierce sense of protectiveness I had never felt before. But this was... more._

_I couldn't quite place it, but it felt almost maternal. Like he was an extension of myself. That he was just as alone and scared as me, with nobody to turn to, and it was my job to watch over him._

_Although, it did seem like he was watching over me a lot of the time._

_I kissed his forehead while I squeezed him a little. "Do you know my name?" I asked._

_He pulled away from my embrace slightly and gave me a cute little smirk as he nodded in reply. His lips pressed together as he began to speak..._

* * *

I woke suddenly, my arms wrapped around a pillow, to the sound of Jax growling loudly beside me. His ears were pricked and he was staring at something unknown outside the tent. I couldn't tell what time it was, but knew it was dark. Only the light of the full moon trickled into the tent.

Dread crept up my spine.

This could not be good. What if its a bear? The only bear claw I wanted contact with was of the pastry variety. I didn't want to end up as ones next meal like that Grizzly Man guy had.

_What a wonderful end to a fuck-tastic day that would be!_

The dog suddenly bolted outside, a snarl ripping from his throat. "Jax! Jax wait!" I whisper-yelled after him.

_Shit! _I eased my way to the other end of the small tent, peeking between the folds of the opening.

My breath hitched at the sight before me.

* * *

_**~B of L~**_

_**Milan, Italy (give or take several hours):**_

Jasper Whitlock sighed in frustration.

As much as he loved his wife, this was proving more than his patience could bear. He was waiting for her in a posh, Milan boutique while he tried to ignore the wanton looks of both the staff and patrons. But it wasn't just the looks; those could be averted by merely closing his eyes. No, it was the whispered words that the apparently sex crazed women spoke.

And then there was the lust.

Of all the times Jasper had regretted his gift of empathy, now was at the top of that list. He was fucking drowning in a near toxic level of lust. His painful erection was threatening to break free of his tailored slacks. He had had to cross his legs an hour ago in an attempt to conceal it. He hoped his brother Emmett didn't get wind of it or he would never let him live it down.

Jasper was being punished. He could feel the vampire pixie's mirth from the dressing room.

"Posso trovare qualcosa per voi?" a soft voice purred at him. Jasper rolled his eyes behind his closed lids, while he near groaned as the smell of desire of one of the saleswomen assaulted him.

_That little pixie is going to pay for this_, he thought to himself.

"No, grazie," he replied kindly after fixing his gaze on the voluptuous woman staring at him lasciviously.

"Se vuoi qualcosa non esitare a chiedere a me," the woman said, the comment dripping of innuendo. As she walked away, her hips swayed suggestively in what she hoped was a seductive way.

"You owe me woman!" Jasper growled in a low tone to his amused wife.

"Oh, Jazz. We're almost done for the day. Cheer up!" She laughed quietly.

_For the day_, Jasper groaned. They had been in Milan for five days. He was beginning to wonder if their private jet was going to be able to lift off the ground because of the weight of her exertions.

He had visited the cathedral Duomo di Milano twice while his wife, Alice, shopped up and down the Via Spriga and Montenapoleone of the Quadrilatero della Moda. If there was anything to visit in Milan beyond those places and the Quadrilatero d'Oro, he wouldn't know. He was positive that Versace, Prada, Armani, and Gucci would all have to close their doors temporarily to restock their inventories because of the decimated state his wife had left them in. She shopped for their entire coven, as she had ever since they joined the Cullens in 1950.

Carlisle Cullen was an English vampire that had come to the Americas to find absolution. He moved from to town to town as he practiced medicine, an attempt of penance for his race's atrocities. Working as a physician was unheard of for a vampire, but it was made possible by his practiced control. Loneliness and the wishes of a dying mother had prevailed him to change seventeen year old Edward Masen in 1918. A few years later Carlisle changed his mate, Esme Platt. In 1933, Carlisle had changed Rosalie Hale after she was assaulted and left for dead and then her mate, Emmett McCarty, a few years later. After Jasper and Alice had found them, their coven was the largest in the world.

The Cullens moved every five or six years, depending on the situation and next hospital for Carlisle to offer his services. Esme was a soft spoken, gentle woman and the perfect, although borderline Stepford wife, taking care of the house and their five adoptive 'children'. The doctor and wife were basically good _people _with good intentions. However, for all their good deeds, Jasper was convinced they were out of their fucking minds. Carlisle was often ignorant of basic vampire behavior or protocol, which was mind-boggling considering that he had lived for several decades with the Volturi, the vampire world's ruling coven. Carlisle and Esme were compassionate and indulgent to a fault. Neither of them were gifted, and they relied on the gifts of other members of the coven, except Jasper, and rarely acted like the coven leaders they claimed to be.

Jasper's brother and oldest friend, Peter, was convinced that Carlisle's delusions were the product of all his centuries of drinking Bambi's blood and abstaining from his natural food source. The entire family practiced Carlisle's teachings and they all had their... moments, even Jasper's beloved Alice could be eccentric. Jasper was the exception to the rule as he could not stomach his natural prey's emotions. Although it was the correct path for himself, Jasper tended to agree with Peter.

However, sometimes, while away from the Cullens, a midnight trip to a blood bank was a well-deserved treat Jasper looked forward to every year.

Peter and Charlotte preyed on the dregs of society and therefore provided a valuable community service. Jasper had tried the lifestyle as well after his brother and sister had saved him from his sadistic sire's clutches but the knowledge that someone deserved their fate did little to temper the intensity of their fear. Jasper had been resolved to starve to death when Alice found him and showed him an alternative.

But Carlisle's biggest weakness was his eldest son.

Edward.

Carlisle and Esme spoiled and coddled him, just as his human parents had done. And they relied far too much on Edward's gift of telepathy. Edward felt that he had the advantage over everyone. Jasper had yet to meet anyone more condescending and self-absorbed than that ginger-haired fucker. The moron thought that because he could read people's thoughts that he knew EVERYTHING. However, he was too egotistical to realize that he could only read the superficial thoughts of everyone. Not the deeper, meaningful, meat and potato thoughts that people had in the back of their minds. He could easily be misled, as Jasper had proved countless times.

And there was always more drama with him than Jasper cared to deal with. He believed that Edward was changed far too young, even though his age was several years over what vampire law stipulated.

Edward was, simply put, the bane of Jasper's existence. But Alice loved Edward.

And Jasper loved Alice.

Jasper's favorites were definitely Emmett and Rosalie. Rosalie was bitter about her lost human life for which he sympathized. But she had found some comfort when she came across her Emmett in the Smokey Mountains, being attacked by a bear. Jasper respected her because she spoke her mind and wasn't afraid to point out the family's issues. Her tenacity was complimented well with her husband's lovability. Emmett was the strongest vampire Jasper had ever encountered, but Emmett couldn't compete with Jasper's one hundred forty-three years of experience. They got along famously, and were usually found together either rough housing or playing video games if they were not with their wives.

The 'children' completed the Rockwell-esque Cullen picture by attending high school, much to Jasper's exasperation. Although the prolonged, daily exposure to humans was uncomfortable at best, it was the the lust of several hundred pubescent adolescents that could bring even the hardest warrior to his knees. But being the oldest looking, Jasper often was granted a reprieve by only having to suffer a senior year of high school or even sometimes moving to a new town as the Cullens' only collegiate son. The others had to endure varying sentences depending on the ages they could realistically portray.

The group cohabited well together but everyone valued their privacy, especially with Edward's gift. They used their school breaks for much needed space.

Alice and he were currently on a European vacation. They had spent quite a bit of time in the UK as he had never been to that island before. The amount of history and culture in London alone was staggering, and Jasper found himself in heaven. The London Museum was probably the highlight of his entire trip. He had spent three days inside it alone.

An impromptu tour around the city on the top of a open-top, double decker bus would come in a close second. In true London tradition, it had rained on them, and even the complimentary plastic bags they wore could not keep them dry. He had snapped a picture of Alice, who had looked like a drowned poodle. Her usually black, spiky locks of hair plastered to her face, dripping of water. He had sent the picture to Emmett, and even Peter and Charlotte. Of course now, he was regretting that... as Alice had been less than thrilled. And she could be an evil little vampire.

Jasper readjusted himself discreetly in his discomfort.

A fucking evil pixie, indeed.

The rest of their trip had depended on the weather. Alice's gift to see the future was usually contingent on people's decisions. However, she was completely omniscient when it came to the weather. It was an extremely advantageous gift, as a vampire's skin glittered in the sunshine like a diamond. They could travel across the continent at their own leisure under the cover of clouds, without fear of exposure.

After a while Alice appeared before him, her hands laden with sacks. But in spite of her spoils, concern was the most prevalent of her emotions.

"What is wrong?" Jasper asked.

She smiled at him, but her troubled eyes belied her attempt to disguise her mood. "I'm afraid that we are needed at home," she sighed in reply.

"Should we call Edward and tell him to meet us there?" Edward had been visiting with the Denali's when they had first left their home of Forks, Washington. But Jasper was sure he had long since left, not able to handle the advances of the Denali coven's three succubae sisters. _Fucking Victorian virgin!_

So Edward was now doing... whatever it was Edward did. The squirrelly fucker was off pouting about his lack of mate once again, no doubt. Emmett was convinced the moron was gay and either was too ashamed to admit it, because of his Victorian ideals or that he was too dense to realize it.

"No, I think that will only compound the problem," Alice replied cryptically, pulling her husband from his thoughts. "Can you please get the car while I go next door and get a new bag for Rosalie? I've already called the pilot, and he said it will be two hours before we can leave."

Jasper quickly rose to his feet, worry for his wife effectively had relieved his previous issue. He would do anything for her; she had saved him from an eternity of despair and loneliness. So he would follow her lead, until he couldn't anymore in good conscience. Then she would submit to his wishes, to his protection.

He walked along the busy street, bordered on both sides with Ferraris and Porches, in an agitated state as he approached their car.

Because what worried Alice, damn near scared him. She was usually buoyant, with a smile and answer for every situation. He didn't need Peter's gift of intuition to feel wary. Even with the joy of shopping in Milan, Alice had been confused and nervous for the past couple of days.

And Alice Brandon Whitlock was never confused or nervous.

Ever.

Jasper had a feeling that a hornet's nest had been kicked, and they were going home to walk right into a swarm of trouble.

* * *

_A/N Hope ya'll liked. Thanks for reading! This chapter was a difficult one to write. So this should put to rest about Bella's paternity, even if she may be a little skeptical. She is 100% human in this fic. However, a lot of the characters are not clued into that fact yet!_

_And I do realize that my song pairings are odd, but they just jump out to me._

_Translations:_

_Can i get something for you?_

_No, Thank you._

_If there is anything you want, don't hesitate to ask me._


	14. Chapter 13: A Thin Red Line

_A/N Many thanks to MoonWolfRunner(MWR), Feebes 86, Mist, and AugustShaffer for their help with this story. These ladies are great and I greatly appreciate all their help and support._

_The Pack mind will be displayed in italics. SM owns the characters of Twilight, the Quiluete own their legends, and I still don't own anything._

_Lots of Paul. Enjoy!_

* * *

_**~B of L~**_

**Chapter 13: A Thin Red Line**

**PPOV: Twelve hours earlier from where we last left Bella**

I leaned against a tree at the top of the ridge and watched Bella floating on the calm ocean. She looked beautiful, her hair shining in the rare sun, as she watched over my little sister from a distance, playing on the beach. I could tell Bella was less than thrilled to find Max there alone. I was nervous to find out what that dark look on her face had meant when my sister insisted I was close by. She was pissed, and she was going to rip into me the next time I saw her.

I was seriously disappointed when she hadn't joined us for my grandfather's birthday dinner, especially when I found out she helped Max cook it. Quil just looked at me when Joy mentioned that she was adamant about not intruding. He thought maybe she was trying to avoid me. I wondered the same thing.

Gramps had told me that on her first visit to his house she had acted like she had seen a ghost. I figured she saw a picture of me and probably was afraid of what I would think of her getting too cozy with my family behind my back. She spoke so little about her family, I always was apprehensive to mention mine. It was painful to talk about Mom, and the thought of my father made me want to destroy things.

So I didn't ask her about anything. I just enjoyed what time I had with her.

And now, as much as it annoyed me to say, I missed Bella.

I missed her laugh when she would come up for air after wiping out on a wave. And the smile she tried to hide when I would say something deliberately sexist or annoying, just so I could see it. She knew I was trying to get a rise out of her. And just before the kitten would draw her claws, she would smile, thinking I couldn't see it.

I missed her cooking and her revulsion, as she watched me scarf the food down.

And I missed the taste of her lips.

One kiss.

One soft kiss was all it took to be reduced to this, a sniveling, pussy-whipped moron. I was as bad as an imprinted wolf, and I hadn't even tapped it.

The last time I had really spent time with her was about a week ago. I had stolen a kiss and she had wigged out on me and tried to leave. When I hadn't let her, she said that she was worried about me getting hurt. I was getting ready to ask her what the fuck that had meant when Seth's howl had risen in the distance.

She had seemed resigned at my sudden exit, like she was convinced that her behavior had driven me away. I was pissed at her half truths and the distance she kept me at, but supernatural bullshit was the ONLY thing that could have pulled me away from her at that moment.

As much as I prided myself at being the toughest of the pack, rejection tasted just as bad on my tongue as on anyone else's. We were friends, but I wanted more. And not because I was used to getting more from my conquests. Bella wasn't a conquest. She was the more. She was everything I could ever want, but was too damn stupid to ask for. And being only her friend was just not going to be enough.

Provided I would get to spend more time with her again.

When I had finally phased after Seth's initial call, it was to deal with a rogue vamp that was trying to get onto the reservation. The motherfucker had proved too much for the young wolf and he had gotten a mile into the reservation before Jared, also on patrol, could get there. Together, Seth, Jared, and I had chased him out, but the leech seemed to disappear in thin air. The rest of the Pack was called and the area was combed until we were sure that he was not on Quileute land.

We didn't think much of it; thinking we had scared the bloodsucker off. A lot of vamps got a little curious with a coven as big as the Cullens nearby, but they also got easily spooked by our presence.

We were wrong.

The next morning, when she arrived at my house, I had just greeted Bella with a hug, when Jake's howl rose over the forest. It was as hard to leave her that day as it had been the one before. When I phased, I could see the same fucking vamp, his dirty blond hair trailing behind him in a ponytail, as he ran on the bracken beneath his bare feet. Jake and Quil had been hot on his heels and the bloodsucker had laughed in amusement. Fucking laughed! It had truly enjoyed making them... us look like asses. I had been furious when the leech had later escaped our clutches. Again!

Sam had put the entire Pack on alert, requiring three wolves phased at all times to patrol the reservation. The Council was alerted of the possible threat and they had called the head Cullen to prevail upon him to aid in the destruction of the bloodsucker. Carlisle Cullen said that the rogue vampire had already been warned by He-Man and Barbie Cullen, not to hunt on their territory.

The pussy had also said that until the rogue leech actually did something wrong, he couldn't be involved in his demise. Quil and Jake had said that their grandfather had started cussing the spineless leader until the vamp got fed up and just hung up the phone. I knew there was a reason I had always liked my great-uncle. He was fucking badass! _I wonder what he would have been like as a wolf._

Yesterday, I had just made it home from a twelve hour shift of patrolling when Bella arrived. She had no sooner jumped out and gave me a warm smile when the panicked howls of half of the Pack reached my ears. I pretended I had plans as we hadn't discussed surfing that day. I could tell she hadn't believed me, and I could see the disappointment shining in her eyes. But I didn't have time to give her reassurances.

I had a fucking leech to kill!

Surprise, Surprise. The same walking corpse had breached the reservation close to the highway yet again. All nine of us wolves had gone into attack mode. I was in a feral rage at having to disappoint Bella yet again. The other wolves weren't much better.

The entire situation was bullshit and had gone on far too long.

We had split our forces and came after the persistent fucker from three directions, determined to rid the reservation of the vermin once and for all. Jared, Quil, and I were pursuing the bastard as the others protected our flanks. When I surged forward and got a hold of his leather jacket, the vamp had slipped out of it and jumped into the fucking trees again.

I coughed and spat at the offending taste, much to Quil's amusement. The rest of the Pack was concentrated on the leech hovering thirty feet above us. We all stood stock still, like a group of Labradors, itching for the kill.

Then the fucking bloodsucker had just sat on a limb, his crimson eyes laughing at us. After a moment the corpse sneered, "You can't keep me away from what is mine forever."

Motherfucker!

To the soundtrack of enraged snarls, he merely jumped from branch to branch until he reached the Forks city limits. Sam had to Alpha order us to stop. We had already breached the treaty line, and were dangerously close to humans and the Cullen property.

We should have never had to fucking pull back! I had released my fury on several trees on my way home.

So when Bella pulled up today, I had kept to the forest as Jax and she jumped out of her behemoth of a truck. I didn't want to make another awkward exit as I had heard Sam's expectant howl just before she pulled up to my house. Jax had looked at me questioningly but did not blow my cover. I stayed hidden in the foliage of the trees as I moved to my current spot so I could watch them descend to the beach. I listened as Bella spoke with my sister and then later commission Jax as Max's guardian before she paddled out to sea.

I felt a vibration from a text and sighed. I was wanted at a pack meeting. Pulling my clothes off and leaving them and the phone where they lay, I allowed the wolf to take over.

As soon as my thoughts hit the pack mind, I could hear Sam's annoyed growl. _You're late!_

I huffed in annoyance. _I was seeing to Max. I'm here now though. Satisfied?_

Sam sighed in irritation, but otherwise didn't comment. Dick.

_Where is Max?_ Quil asked.

_She is on the beach, I left her with Bella._

_Bella?_ several asked.

_Yeah._

Everyone knew how protective I was of Max. She and Gramps were all I had left. And I trusted Bella with her. Max spoke of her all the time since their bonding session and was convinced that Bella hung the moon. Add in Cujo, the Wonder Dog, to the mix and I knew Max would be fine.

_Are you sure that was such a good idea?_ Collin asked. I growled lowly at the pup, but he kept talking. _Don't you find it a little odd that she is here when the leech tries to get in?_

Everyone fell silent, contemplating those words. Collin was slightly offended at the undercurrent of the Pack's collective thoughts. Just because he was the youngest didn't make him stupid. Far from it, he was a straight A student.

Embry finally asked, _Is that true?_

_I think it is just a coincidence_, Jake appeased. But we all could feel his doubt. _Bella lives in Forks. He would have grabbed her by now. Wouldn't he?_

_Not if he is making a game of it_, Quil thought to himself.

But the words ricocheted in our minds like a sonic boom. Most of all mine.

Sonofabitch!

_Well, he won't have the fucking opportunity to get to her again_, I growled. Plans for watching over her were formulating in my head. If we were together, I would just have her stay with me. I ignored the salt in that open wound and tried to think of how to monitor her while she was at her father's house.

_Paul, I know she's your... friend, but we have to think about the treaty_, Sam admonished in his ever calm tone.

_This is bullshit! He's fucking with us and is getting away while we scratch and sniff our asses on this fucking line_, I exploded.

_I agree!_ Quil and Embry said in unison.

_The treaty…_ Sam started but was cut off by Jacob.

_The treaty keeps the Cullens out of La Push, not us out of Forks Sam!_ He took a deep breath and looked at the black wolf._ I appreciate how difficult things were when you initially phased, and when it was just the three of you, _he continued as he looked at Jared and me.

_At that time you had to stay relatively close to the reservation. When the Cullens showed up, you were outnumbered three to seven; you had to pull back. But the treaty keeps them off our lands, and it gives us permission to rip the fuckers apart if they do cross the line. But we have every right to Forks, or hell, even their property. We just cannot engage them without cause. Them, not a psychotic leech playing a game with us. If we want to chase a vampire through their backyard, we can. And I'm telling you now, if I see this fucker again, I'm chasing his ass to Greenland if I have to. And I don't care if I go right through the middle of the Cullen's living room to do it._

And that right there is why Baby Alpha was destined to be the Pack leader. My respect for my cousin tripled in that moment.

_Our job is to protect the reservation_, Sam defended.

_No, our job is to protect human life, and we have a duty to this reservation. A quarter, maybe a third, of the people that live here have jobs in Forks and beyond. What about them? We are not doing our duty by leaving them to fend for themselves. And what about the rest of the population of Forks. Is a Quileute woman more important than a child of Forks?_ Jake asked rhetorically.

But much to Sam's chagrin, he couldn't keep from thinking of his imprint in that moment. The entire pack knew what Sam's answer would be to that question. Jared wasn't much better, as his mind was constantly on Kim.

_Every fucking time we allow this bloodsucker to escape, we risk him coming back and getting through. He is testing our defenses and, eventually, he is going to find a hole. To the reservation. To our loved ones. I'm not going to let that happen_, Quil vehemently stated.

_Neither am I!_ Sam snarled defensively. _We all know where your loyalties lie, and they sure aren't with your imprint_, he sneered.

The entire Pack knew how hard things were currently on Quil. He was contemplating breaking the imprint. I understood why he might want to do that, but it made some of them nervous. Particularly the imprinted couples. Emily was beside herself at the thought that Sam might want to break it off with her in order to have Leah back in his arms.

And Kim was under no illusions that had the imprint not occurred, she would not have turned Jared's head. He had ignored her for her entire life, had even sat next to her in a chemistry class for five months and he hadn't given her the time of day. Not until a seemingly innocuous glance changed everything, opening his eyes while tying his hands. Jared tried to qualm her fears but couldn't. His main area of contention had always been being bound to the reservation, but his getting unlimited sex seemed to appease the sour feelings. Mostly.

I knew my cousin well enough to know that he didn't take lightly the distress he was putting Leah under. Taha Aki knew she deserved to be put in her place; her behavior was rivaled only by her mothers. Quil had every right in the world to think, think long and hard about what he wanted.

I could feel Quil's irritation at being questioned about his behavior. He might of have been part of the Pack, but Leah was his cross to bear. And he knew for damn sure she was no longer any concern of Samuel Uley.

I stepped aside as Quil crouched to spring at the eldest wolf, the normally jovial chocolate brown wolf's hairs were raised and his teeth were bared menacingly.

Y_ou're one to fucking talk you goddamn hypocrite. Where were your loyalties when you were fucking Emily while still with Leah? Huh?_ Nobody tried to intercede when Quil snarled and leapt toward the Alpha. Sam had doused a fire with kerosene; it was only fitting if we allowed the fire to singe some sense into him.

_QUIL STOP!_ Quil's attack ceased instantly as the Alpha order reverberated though the pack mind. But to all of our amazement, it was not from Sam, but Jacob.

Sam looked at the russet wolf in astonishment. He knew it was a possibility; hell, he had even hoped for it. But he half expected Jake to never take the reins. He could try to fight for the title, but his chances were slim to none. And he knew it. Anyway, he was so tired of the constant struggle of being in charge. Add in the current clusterfuck at home and he didn't give a shit who was Alpha as long as it wasn't him.

Jake took a deep breath, and looked over his Pack.

_We have to go on the offensive here. We have to quit playing that fucker's game and play our own. The son-of-a-bitch keeps skirting the treaty line. He's in the fucking trees half the damn time. DO NOT let him within twenty miles of the reservation._ His lupine eyes locked onto mine. _He wants something. And it's up to us to keep him from getting it._

_Brady, Paul, Quil, and Seth, I want you guys to run a loop as far out as the western outskirts of the national park. You should still be within hearing range, but make sure one of you has a phone on you. Stay off the Cullen's property line initially. But if you see that fucker, you keep on his ass no matter what. If the Cullens question why you are so far out, you have them call me._

_A Black made that treaty and a Black can fucking take it away._

_The rest of you guys need to sleep while you can. We will be continuing the three wolf patrols after the others scout out the area. Sam and I will notify the Council of some of the changes being made._

I left with the others, excited to patrol for the first time ever.

* * *

But it didn't take long for that excitement to turn to rage as we began to enter Forks city limits.

The bloodsucker's scent was everywhere. He had combed through every square inch he could it seemed. Looking for something.

My gut propelled me to Bella's house, Collin's words still echoing in my head and aching in my heart.

A feral snarl ripped through me when I got to the Swan residence, the burning in my nostrils the only thing keeping me grounded enough to push forward.

I phased human so I could walk around the house a little less conspicuously. The blond bloodsucker's scent saturated the Swan's property, concentrated primarily in the backyard and along the side of the house.

However, more alarming was that I smelled several Cullens as well. They didn't get as close to the house, remaining on the edge of the forest. But they had taken an interest here too. Fuck!

But the million dollar question was why?

Why did he want her? And although I was silently thanking Taha Aki that she hadn't been harmed, I couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't been.

I walked to the side of the house and looked up to see a large bay window with a huge tree outside of it. My gut clenched, knowing whose window that had to be and thinking of all the reasons the tree would reek so much of that bloodsucker's scent.

I wanted to go inside, but now was not the time.

I was pulled away from my reconnaissance by the sound of whimpers. I walked back over to forest and found Seth rolling around in pain. He was human and was clutching his chest in agony.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He ignored me, so I quickly phased so I could find out what was going on.

No sooner than my four paws hit the ground than I could hear Brady's concerned words. _Is he okay? What is going on?_

_Fuck if I know, I was going to ask you the same thing._

_Seth was explaining he had caught a sweet scent and that his wolf was going nuts. The next thing I know he was writhing in pain like he was dying._

Quil spoke up. _It was pretty fucking intense. I had him phase to give us a break and before he could start howling._

After a few minutes, Seth sat up, pushing his hands through his now short hair. "Fuck that hurt!"

I nodded in acknowledgement and swung my head to the forest to remind him we had shit to do.

He took a deep breath and a second later his sandy wolf was in front of me.

_What was that?_ I asked.

_No clue. I am just glad it's over._

We didn't speak further on it. After the incident with Bella and Leah, he kept a low profile around a lot of us. Seth and I explored toward the south, while Quil took a northern track. Brady remained close to the reservation, just in case.

Besides discovering trails of the blond leech coming in from the south and going out towards Seattle, we didn't run across him.

After several hours, Collin, Jared, and Jake relieved us.

I let Quil give the report to the oncoming patrol as my eyes were barely functioning.

* * *

I walked to where I had left my clothes, while images of Bella in a bikini flashed through both of my heads.

She usually made a point to keep covered up, always changing away from my prying eyes. Picking up my shirt off a limb, I started making my way toward the beach.

I thought surely they were not still there; it'd been hours. But I walked to the tree line anyway to double check.

When I looked down, the air rushed out of my lungs.

All I could see was devastation. Huge logs were scattered everywhere across the beach. There was no Max, no Bella, and no dog.

I raced down the hill, screaming their names at the top of my lungs, and began searching frantically for any signs of them.

Reaching the water, I began throwing logs out of my way. They would sail through the air and made loud clanking noises as they crashed into other floating logs.

A frenzied search of five minutes proved fruitless, and I recalled that I had not been to the house yet. They could both be there, cooking me a cake, while I acted like a fucking moron that played with giant tinker toys. All of this could have happened hours after they left. Hell, it was close to high tide now. Bella would have left hours ago.

I concentrated on the sounds coming from up the hill at my place, depressed that the heartbeats of both Bella and Max were gone.

As I started making my way toward the trail to make sure her truck was gone, a dash of red caught my eye. There, in a sea of white driftwood, I saw Bella's crimson surf board trapped precariously beneath two large driftwood pieces.

And Bella was nowhere to be found.

My mind ran rampant with scenarios of how this could be. I didn't want to admit what it could mean.

The truth of the matter.

That for that board to be in the water now, Bella had to be in the water when whatever the fuck went down here happened. And that meant, more than likely, my baby sister was... was on the beach.

There was no way they could have survived the chaos that created this mess. Fuck! I doubt I could have.

I felt the sand beneath me as I fell in the water on my knees, howling in pain.

The only family I really had left was gone! And the only woman I had ever given two shits about was now lost to me.

Another wolfish howl of agony tore from my very human throat. Time ceased to exist as I mourned the most important people in my life.

After awhile, I could hear the frantic voice of someone coming to me. Hands shook me, but I couldn't open my eyes.

"Dude, they are alive. Paul, they are alive."

I opened my eyes and looked up into the pained, brown eyes of my pack mate Quil.

"Just come with me," he begged as he pulled me up to my feet.

Too exhausted, both mentally and physically, to do anything else, I let him drag me up the path to my house.

* * *

_**~B of L~**_

When we rushed inside the hospital, I noticed the scent of Old Quil from somewhere in the building. Quil went to find to his grandfather, but I pressed on. I had to know what was going on.

"Makala Lahote, I am her brother." I asked the attendant at the counter. She raised her head from her paper work to ask me something, but feel silent when she looked at me. A provocative smile was starting to materialize on her overdone face, but it quickly disappeared when she saw the scowl appear on mine. I didn't have time to be eye-fucked by the nursing staff when I was waiting to find out about my kid sister.

"Yes, of course. She is in room 2B in the ICU." She pointed toward some double doors. "Just follow the signs through those doors."

I grunted a thank you and took off in the direction she indicated.

As I moved at a quick pace down the corridor, all I could smell was leech. The doctor's scent saturated every square inch of the hospital, and I could detect several others of his coven in less concentrated amounts.

And my sister was here amongst them. Fucking fuck!

I stood outside Makala's room, my chest moving in and out in a steady rhythm, as I looked inside the large window. I could hear the monitors she was hooked up to as clear as day behind the closed doors. What would normally be an ominous sound was strangely comforting after the thoughts that had been running through my mind earlier. They were proof of life.

The stench of vampire burnt my nose, and was quickly shattering any serenity that I had gained from seeing my sister alive. I was barely holding on as my wolf paced back and forth, back and forth in my mind. He was caged but only barely. I was near drunk in my rage at seeing Max in such a helpless state. But each inhale of that fucking scent was like a double shot of Old Quil's shine to the fury rising in me.

I had to calm the fuck down!

I heard my name whispered and saw Gramps looking at me from his chair beside Makala.

I willed Taha Aki to keep my ass human as I turned the door handle.

"How is she?" I said as I made my way to the other side of the bed and knelt down. I tried to take in some comfort from her scent, but it smelled strongly of brine. Another large whiff brought the smell of strawberries and vanilla to me. Bella.

I had been here before. Less than four years ago, I sat down beside a bed in this hospital, maybe even in the same room. My mother lay prone before me, wasting away as the cancer slowly ate her alive. It was the bad kind of ovarian cancer, the kind that was difficult to detect. By the time she was diagnosed, she was already terminal. The doctor had said she would have been in pain for a long time.

She probably couldn't feel it from all the beatings she had taken in life.

One day I was going to find him, and he was going to feel the pain of every fucking hit she took. Every. Single. One. My father was going to suffer, if it was the last thing I did.

We had moved back in with Gramps about nine months earlier. I think she had known what was going to happen, subconsciously at least, and had made sure that we were where we needed to be. She was happier than she ever had been. All of us were. Joy and she were like sisters, and Max, as I had dubbed her when she was born, quickly found best friends in Jared's twin sisters Jessie and Jennie. I had a chip on my shoulder, but most teens did. I acted out and questioned authority, but I secretly enjoyed living with Gramps. La Push was a nice place to grow up before moving on to the real world.

But when she hadn't been able to shake the flu, she went to the doctor and life as I knew it ended. She died eight weeks later and what innocence that my father hadn't beat out of me, died with my mother.

I phased an hour after her funeral.

I closed my eyes, and took another deep breath to calm down. I couldn't go wolf here, holding the hand of my little sister, while I dredged up old ghosts.

I had held my mother's hand tenderly, the same as I was holding my sister's now, slowly caressing the top of her delicate, jaundiced fingers as tears streamed down my face.

"Don't cry Buddy" she had cooed. She moved the other hand to touch the top of my head, stoking the longish locks. "It is just my time. But I will always be with you and Makala. Never doubt that. I will always watch over you both. You watch over her also, keep her safe."

I could still remember the feeling of helplessness that had gripped me at that moment. I was unable to help my mother, and too young to know how to help raise a five-year-old girl. I thought the world about my little sister, but I hadn't even been sixteen years old. What Makala needed the most was a mother.

Just like me.

"Promise me, Paul. Please."

I had looked at her pleading eyes, unable and unwilling to deny her anything. "I promise I'll take care of her. Always."

And now, I had broken the only fucking promise I had ever made to my mother. What if Max had died?

Would my mother care what I was doing while her daughter died, no matter how much it was out of my control?

No. Family should always come first.

But I didn't have any choice. Alpha orders and supernatural imperatives were my new reality. Just another thing the fucking leeches had stolen from me. From all of us.

My grandfather's words pulled me back to the present. "She is stable. They think she is going to pull through just fine. She did regain consciousness and even spoke once after she revived, but hasn't really stirred since. She was suffering from apnea when she arrived and they are monitoring it. They are also concerned about a chance of pneumonia."

I didn't respond, merely just rested my head against her bed. Again, I could smell Bella.

Where the fuck was she?

Gramps and I were both silent for a long time.

"Where is Bella?" I was pissed she wasn't here. I left Max in her care and she should be fucking here, holding her other hand.

This was her fault. She should not have left her alone on that beach.

"She left to rest. She was dead on her feet. She ..."

"She left?" I growled, interrupting him. I raised my head so I could stare at him on the other side of the bed. My hard eyes spoke volumes.

I was fucking pissed!

"Paul, she doesn't know the legends are true. You can't blame her for having them bring Makala here..."

"Didn't someone warn her about the tribe's wishes?"

He looked sheepish, but didn't reply.

"Exactly. She insisted Max come here. Right?" I asked rhetorically.

Who the fuck did she think she was?

Hadn't she done enough? My sister almost died, and as if that wasn't enough she brought her to Forks Hospital. Where the fucking leech works. Against the tribe's wishes.

"Son, you better check that temper at the door and leave that girl alone. Makala would have died without her help."

I scoffed. If she would have been taking care of Max, she wouldn't be lying in this bed, surrounded by fucking machines and leeches.

"Why isn't she here?" I growled, while I took a deep breath.

"Boy, you better pull your head out of your ass and see the truth. See it right quick."

My grandfather's words went in one ear and out the other.

My wolf couldn't take much more of the smell of bleach and sugar.

I got up, kissed Max on the forehead, and told my grandfather that I'd be back. I ignored the threats he shot my way as I stormed out of the hospital. I passed by both Quils on my way out, but much to my surprise young Quil didn't follow me.

I calmed down as soon as I inhaled fresh oxygen. I ran to the tree line and was about to phase when it occurred to me that it might not be a good idea. Jake was patrolling and he wouldn't think twice about Alpha ordering my ass to go back into the hospital if he caught wind of my thoughts.

I jogged quickly to her house, but her truck wasn't there. I could hear Chief Swan watching a baseball game, but no one else was inside.

She was long gone.

Fifteen minutes later I was nearing my house when I caught her scent in the air. But instead of Second or even First Beach, she was on Third Beach.

Further infiltrating herself on this reservation.

I smiled in anticipation.

As I approached, I could hear Bella's dog growling at me, sensing the impending danger approaching them. I snarled in reply, impressively I thought considering I still was in human form.

The little mutt didn't scare me.

Nor did the sorry excuse for a human hiding in the tent behind him.

The little spitfire liked to pride herself on being the toughest bitch around. But I was a fucking wolf. An alpha male.

And this was my reservation. My tribe. My backyard.

And Bella Swan had just out lasted her welcome.

* * *

_**~B of L~**_

**A few hours earlier:**

Quil ran after his cousin toward the hospital, praying Max was fine. He could have gone his whole life without seeing the breakdown and the haunted eyes of the supposedly invincible Paul Lahote.

Paul had been utterly destroyed at the thought of losing his little sister.

When Quil had walked into his house an hour earlier, he had found the note his grandfather had left him. He listened intently to the messages on the machine and had found a call from his grandfather saying that Makala was in Forks General and that he needed to get the Taurus and pick his grandfather up. When Quil had asked why it was at Paul's house, his grandfather had merely replied that Bella had borrowed it to get her truck.

So, Quil had been lulled into a false sense of security as he had leisurely walked to his cousin's home.

But his serenity halted as he heard Paul's human howls of pain, as soon he was within sight of the house.

Quil had run toward the beach and then stopped dead in his tracks.

Kneeling in the water was his pack bother. He had his head in his hands and was rocking back and forth muttering his sister's name. But for every three Max's or Makala's, a Bella would creep in there.

Quil had ran to him, and helped him back to his grandfather's Taurus. Paul only asked what had happened, and he hadn't uttered a word the rest of the trip to Forks. Quil had quickly explained that a rogue wave had struck the beach, and that Makala was injured but was alive.

Quil had driven quickly to the hospital. Speeding laws be damned. When they were within a block away, he met a shiny, black Mercedes going in the opposite direction at a quick clip. A pair of gold eyes pierced his brown eyes as they passed each other. And Quil couldn't help but wonder what the big, radiating smile that Carlisle Cullen was wearing meant.

Thankfully, Paul had not seen the exchange.

He was two steps behind Paul as he rushed through the sliding doors of the hospital. Quil caught the scent of his grandfather and went looking for him, feeling it was better to give Paul a little space at the moment.

He found the elderly man in the waiting area, looking pensively out the window.

Old Quil looked over at the sound of his large grandson's steps approaching him. "Son, I'm awfully happy to see you."

The older man wished he had been here hours ago. First to hear the heated conversation between the Swan's in the parking lot. Then to hear whatever had made Doc Fang tear out of the hospital so fast. The nurses were all in a tizzy, rumors running rampant for his sudden departure.

Old Quil couldn't care less that he had left, but it was the suddenness of the action that made him curious. Old Quil knew that the doctor would have heard every word between Charlie and Bella; the vampire had remained close to the front of the hospital during the exchange. But what concerned him was why the conversation of two humans would matter to a leech.

The Shaman had a bad feeling about the entire situation.

The older man looked at his young grandson and saw the worry evident on his features. "What's wrong?"

"I found Paul at his place, he didn't know about Max. He thought… he thought…" Quil's voice trailed off as he sat down heavily, with his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands.

Old Quil sighed. He could only imagine the scene that his grandson stumbled upon. "How is he?"

The young man gave him the look that a question like that deserved. How the fuck did he think he was? "As expected. I drove him here."

The Shaman nodded his head, and looked around the room for his other grandson. It was unusual to find one without the other. "Where is Jake?"

"Sam and he are meeting with the rest of the Council to inform them that he claimed Alpha."

Old Quil smiled proudly and Quil could swear he could hear a muttered, "It's about damn time."

Silence descended between them. The older man watched the news on the small TV across the room while the younger man tried to block out the bustle of the hospital. However, Quil felt compelled to pay attention to one room in particular.

The last couple of weeks had been hell. He was dog tired, pun intended. He didn't know what to do; there seemed to be no easy answer.

Not looking up from his hands, he asked his grandfather a loaded question, "What should I do?"

He didn't elaborate.

He didn't need to.

Old Quil patted the boy's back, and looked at him with compassion. "That's not for me to tell you. The decision is yours, always has been."

"Doesn't the imprint mean she is my other half? That she is the only person out there for me?"

"Yes and no. The spirits have pointed you in her direction. But they can't force anything else. They can't force the imprint to feel anything for you." He looked at his grandson sorrowfully.

That was the crux of the matter. Quil had always had a crush on the older girl, and she had been oblivious.

"But both of you will have to work on it. You will both have to work every day, just like every other couple in the world. Your only gift is that you know it can work, that she is your natural course.

"You will have bad times, like now. But you work through them. No one could make me madder than your Grandmother. Taha Aki knows I loved her, but she could get under my skin just like that," he said with a snap of his fingers. He recalled how she was always hiding his shine from him. He smiled despite himself.

An hour or so passed while Old Quil remembered treasured moments with his late wife. He watched as his grandson's head suddenly snapped to look toward the entrance. He rose up and followed behind as the young wolf approached the hallway. Even his old ears could hear the stomping of large feet. A few seconds later, a very pissed off Paul made his way past them and exited the hospital.

Young Quil made to follow after his cousin, but a wrinkled hand held his arm in place. "Let him be."

"No, Grandpa. He is so angry."

"He needs to work through this himself. All you're going to do is piss him off more and get your ass kicked."

The young wolf let that comment slide. His grandfather wasn't calling him a pussy, just that Paul was a badass. "But he's looking for Bella. I know it."

He had heard the terse conversation between Hank and Paul on the other side of the hospital. Among all the other things Paul was usually pissed about, he was very upset that Bella had left after bringing Makala to Forks.

"Paul won't be able to hurt her."

"He is furious at her. I'm telling you now he will kill…"

The old man gave his grandson a dubious look. "Not likely.

"Not intentionally. Remember Emily?"

"Sam's wolf did that. Emily provoked a wild animal, and she is lucky she lived to tell the tale. She can't be blamed, of course. She was only doing right by her cousin. But nonetheless she did taunt a wolf into phasing."

"Hello!" the boy screeched. He waved his hands in front of his clueless grandfather, trying to make him see the severity of the situation. "We are talking about Bella. The biggest asshole in the Washington peninsula went to pick a fight with her. She is going to try to claw his eyes out."

The young man remembered the young girl of his youth. She had always been fearless. A tomboy through and through; she never backed down from a challenge. She had always been up for anything, but she was the voice of reason too. She was as sweet as they came, but she had a wicked temper. Just as she had shown when she launched herself at Leah.

He had been on the receiving end himself, suffering several punches and wedgies from the little hellcat back in the day.

Quil had tried to get his imprint to shut up that night, but she wouldn't. A part of him, the one that thought of Bella as a sister of sorts, knew she had a right to put Leah in her place. But the wolf unfortunately could not handle that. A part of him had almost died when he heard poor Bella crash into that wall. His actions had been automatic, instinctual. He was livid he had been put into the position that he'd hurt her. That his imprint had forced the issue. So he had taken his fury out on his imprint's brother who wanted to take his own swings at Bella.

"It will be fine."

The younger man rolled his eyes at the patriarch's flippancy. "Are you insane? He is almost feral. You're taking a huge gamble with her life."

Quil III narrowed his eyes at his grandson and growled, "Never… Never question my love for that girl ever again!" He shoved his wrinkled finger into the young wolf's chest, backing him up until he was forced to sit in a too small chair.

"You may not understand my methods, boy, but you better learn to respect them. I have walked this earth a hell of a lot longer than you, and I am not talking out of my ass. There are things I can see that you cannot."

Thoroughly chastised, Young Quil looked up to meet the older man's light grey eyes.

"He loves her," the patriarch replied sagely to the boy's unasked question.

Young Quil groaned, "Grandpa, you have to lay off that shine."

He shook his head in exasperation of his grandfather's words. Hell, Quil didn't think they had even kissed yet. Paul usually kept things close to the chest, but Quil was sure he couldn't have kept something like that to himself.

And love? Ha!

When the words had fully registered, he shot his head up to gaze at the elderly fool in disbelief.

"Loves? Are you out of your mind? He is incensed! He is going to tear her apart when she slaps the shit out of him for being an asshole. And make no mistake, she will!"

"You always get the maddest at the ones you love the most. Haven't you realized that?"

The young man did not respond. And he wasn't meant to. He could sense that his grandfather was talking about his current trails with Leah.

He hadn't really admitted his feelings about Leah to anyone, even himself. But he could see the wisdom of the man's words. The reason he was so upset, why the sting of betrayal at her words hurt so much had nothing to do with the imprint. It was his feelings. He had loved her. A simple crush had evolved into something more over the few short months since she had accepted the imprint.

But what scared him now was that it just might be unrequited love. Was his love alone enough to make them work?

_No, no it was not_, he thought.

He had phased for the first time about a year ago. Three months later he had walked into the Clearwater's diner to get a bite with his mom and had imprinted on the beautiful Leah. But instead of being relieved to be 'in the know' about the Pack and the closure she had about why Sam had left her, she was even more bitter than before. She had ignored Quil for over six months. He had shrugged it off, defending her to Jake and Embry who were pissed at her behavior. Quil had been surprised but ecstatic when she finally seemed to see reason.

Or so he thought.

He was pulled out of his mental struggles by his grandfather's deep voice.

"Paul will keep it together. He has been quite docile lately." A raised eyebrow from the young man made him backpedal slightly. "Well, he has been better."

Regardless of the truth behind the statement, Young Quil scoffed. "And what do you call the fight that I can guarantee is getting ready to go down? What do you call that?"

"Foreplay," Old Quil turned away, chuckling, at the look on Young Quil's face. Watching the retreating figure of tribe's Shaman, Quil moved his hand up to readjust his dropped jaw back into position.

* * *

_A/N Thanks for reading._


	15. Chapter 14: Fireworks

_A/N Huge thanks to August Shaffer, Feebes 86, MoonWolfRunner, and Mist for all their help with this chapter. Their support helps keep me motivated and their wisdom keeps me from sounding like more of an idiot that I am. Hugs girls!_

_I am astounded at the amount of feedback I received from the last chapter, or for this story in general. Each and every review warms my heart and if I haven't responded to you personally, I will be. I heart you all for sticking with me._

_Warning! This chapter contains sexual situations that are intended for mature audiences of 18 years only._

___I am not Stephanie Meyer, so I don't own Twilght or its characters. Its a little long, but I hope you guys enjoy._

* * *

**_Previously on Breath of Life:_**

_Shit! I eased my way to the other end of the small tent, peeking between the folds of the opening._

_My breath hitched at the sight before me._

* * *

**~B of L~**

**Chapter 14: Fireworks**

**_BPOV_**

Paul.

There stood Paul on the far side of the clearing in all his unspeakable glory. He looked unusually dangerous. A fifty-fifty mix between the good kind of dangerous and the bad kind. The difference between flight and flirt.

As I frantically put on some shorts to wear with my oversized nightshirt, I watched as Paul growled at Jax. And I was positive it was a growl. His lip had risen on one side and his eyes almost glowed, making me want to cower like the dog in front of him.

To my absolute astonishment, Jax rose from his cowered position and ran off. Ran off! He left me and I was going to get eaten by a fucking bear.

Of course, maybe Paul could eat...

_Stop right there Bella!_

After Jax was out of sight, Paul's eyes had locked on mine.

His gaze was fierce, predatory. His dark-grey eyes almost looked through me, and a chill ran down my back.

I couldn't help the second of lust that burst from me. He was gorgeous. Like a frightening Greek god or maybe even a gladiator, with bulging muscles and rippling abs clearly visible beneath his shirt. If the thin article of clothing was supposed to hide his physique, it was failing its office deliciously.

It was a disconcerting mix to have, fear and lust. I had always been attracted to him, ever since the night of that bonfire. His sculpted physique turned many heads, mine included.

All I could think about was me being the defenseless maiden he was going to ravage. _Ugh! So not the time._

But the rage and violence that seemed to be radiating off him was almost palpable. This was not a friendly visit, no matter how much my libido wanted it to be. He had been avoiding me for close to a week, and his sudden appearance tonight was not a good sign.

Perhaps a bad moon had risen.

A romantic campout seemed as likely in our future as Charlie and me sharing a hug. Okay, maybe a little more likely.

Like I had thought before, he was dangerous. If I had any sense of self-preservation, I would run away from the feral animal glaring at me. For a split second, I thought about zipping the tent like the coward I was feeling. Like dog, like owner.

But trouble seemed to smile at me wherever I went, the least I could do was grin back.

I knew retreating now would erase any ground I had ever won with him. In many ways, we were equals. He had learned fairly quickly that I wasn't some ditzy girl like he had been used to. I gave as good as I got.

But the sheer look of dominance that seemed to roll off him in waves, just made me want to submit. It was unsettling and made me anxious.

I had always been independent. My mothers... neglect had forced me to be self-reliant at far too early an age, in order to survive. I could handle almost any situation, as I had proved throughout my life. An absentee sperm donor, a selfish mother, and the loss of my grandparents and close friend had left me independent. Jaded. Alone.

Finally realizing that neither of us had spoken for well over a minute, I stumbled out of the tent.

Approaching him apprehensively, I finally found my tongue, "How are you doing?" I tried to sound cheerful, but it came out a mumbled mess. I was as skittish as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

And I was still half asleep.

"I've been better. I just came back from the ICU in Forks. You know, where you left my sister." His voice was cold, detached.

Menacing.

"Makala?" I bewilderedly asked, ceasing my advance toward him. He didn't respond; just continued to glare at me.

"You're Buddy?" I asked incredulously. Then I thought, _Duh!_ Why else would have Makala been waiting at the beach for her brother if she wasn't Paul's sister.

_I'm an idiot!_

But no one had mentioned that he had a sister. I knew he had never once spoken about it. I had run out of Hank's house before I could look at all the pictures. But now I could see Paul in the features of the boy in the picture on the mantel. Although, the hardened mask he was wearing was a far cry from the smiling face of the toddler on a tricycle.

It was the eyes that couldn't be concealed with Paul's indignant expression.

They were why the boy was so familiar to me. Regardless of the fact I had been stalked by hallucinations and dreams of another boy who looked quite similar but different. Another boy with piercing dark-grey eyes, Chase.

"Don't call me that!" he snapped at me, pulling me from my thoughts. "Only family can call me Buddy."

I bit back the apology on the tip of my tongue before it could pass my lips, but I'm sure I couldn't hold the surprise in my eyes to his remark. It wasn't my fault that I didn't know.

I could be sweet and accommodating with the best of them. My grandmothers had seen to that. But if you pushed me, watch out. I could go from nice to nasty in the blink of an eye.

I narrowed my eyes at the man in front of me. "I didn't realize you were her brother. She never referred to you as Paul."

I crossed my arms across my chest as the dubious expression appeared on his face.

"You expect me to believe that? You were at my Grandpa's house. You would have seen my pictures."

"I don't expect you to do jack shit. If I say I didn't know, I didn't know. I have had a lot on my mind lately. So excuse me if I didn't catch that you were Doris and Hank Wilde's grandson."

My words seemed to shock him for a second. Mistaking his silence for calm, I asked about Makala's condition. "How is she?"

Big mistake.

I wasn't quite prepared for the sneer he shot me, or the sound of rumbling thunder that seemed to radiate out of his very being. He had been hostile since he had arrived, but that one question seemed to set him off even more.

"Oh, you care now? You endanger her life and leave her in that hospital, and now you care? What, you want to finish what you started?"

I stood there in the moonlight, completely gob smacked at his cutting words. No one had ever said anything that hurt quite like that. To question my intentions toward a precious soul I had fought like hell to save. Leah had said hurtful things to get a rise out me, but she didn't believe them. Not really. But I could tell by the set of his jaw that Paul believed his angry words.

I suddenly felt like hunting Charlie down and giving him a hug. _Ugh! _

I fought my penchant for tears when I am consumed with anger and hurt, and instead I chose screaming at the prick in front of me. "Who do you think you are? You can't talk to me like that!"

"I saw you on the water while she was on the beach by herself!"

"Bullshit" I snarled.

The tremors that had seemed to plague him went up a couple of notches in intensity, and he took a menacing step toward me. "What?"

"I was there for a fucking hour and never saw you. And even if I hadn't seen you, neither did Jax as I was watching the entire time I was out there."

It was a small lie, but a lie nonetheless. I doubted anyone would believe my encounter with the whales.

"There is nothing I could have done about that wave. By the time I saw it, it was too late." I defended.

He clenched his jaw tight, as if to prevent his next words escape. He took another deliberate step toward me; his incensed expression had me taking an uncharacteristic step back.

"What gave you the right to take her there?"

"Where?" I said, confused. I had no idea what he was going on about.

"The hospital. You had no right to go against the tribe's wishes!"

"No right?" I looked at the giant in disbelief. "I fucking dragged her out of the fucking ocean. I worked CPR on her for ten goddamn minutes before she began breathing!" I screamed, my chest heaving. Turning my head quickly to the left to peer at the moon over the ocean beside me, I quietly whimpered as hot, traitorous tears ran down my cheeks. "The longest ten minutes of my life."

This unimaginable bastard was berating me for taking his sister to the hospital after a near drowning.

What. The. Fuck!

"You were told that she was supposed to go to La Push. You ignored it."

"Okay, first thing asshole, they didn't tell me shit. They were just going to bring her to the clinic. Your reservation did not have the personnel to deal with her. She would have had to go to Forks anyway, perhaps after her condition worsened or you showed up to pussy-foot around for half a day before allowing her to go. I was there, I made the executive decision."

"She's MY sister!" He growled, vibrating in his anger. Shaking so much that it even looked liked his image was blurring. Of course, I was dead tired and had been seeing hallucinations of a toddler for better part of the month.

The thought crossed my mind to ask what was so wrong with Forks General, but I remembered that I didn't give a flying fuck. If it had been something important enough, Old Quil would have told me when I had called him from the ambulance.

"Then fucking act like it!" I turned around to go back to my tent. The jackass made my headache return, and now all I wanted to do was find that fucking shine and pass out.

This day needed to be over.

But before I could drown my sorrows, a blazing hand caught my arm. "Where do think you're going? I'm not finished with you."

_Oh yes you are_, I thought. We were finished long before we ever even started.

"Let. Go. Of. Me." I hissed, venom dripping in my voice. I wrenched my arm out of his blazing grip, and made to slap the cocksucker but he fucking caught my hand mid-swing.

I looked into his eyes with barely contained rage. He released my hand from his iron grip and I pushed away from him. I turned again and could see the Promised Land that was my tent, beckoning me like an oasis in the Sahara.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You don't know me. All I have ever done is protect her," he angrily said from behind me.

I turned to face him again and met his hard eyes. "And don't think for a second that I didn't fight as hard or harder than you would have. You don't know me either."

"I thought I knew you. I guess that was my first mistake. Trusting you with my sister today was my second."

I winced despite myself at the sting of his vitriol. I was clearly wrong with my estimation of him. If he could be so hateful when his sister had lived, I could only shudder what he would do if she had actually died.

"Well, your mistake will be short lived."

He looked at me questioningly, eyebrow raised, while his frame vibrated slightly in his anger.

"I'm leaving. I don't belong here, never did." His trembling stopped abruptly as he looked at me in surprise.

"But thank you for being so very welcoming," I sarcastically added. "La Push should totally advertise their hospitality in a brochure or something. Steal some of those tourism dollars from the South." I knew it was an unfair statement. Most of the tribe was friendly. But the animosity I seemed to inspire wherever I went just proved to show that I truly didn't belong anywhere. La Push being no exception.

"Fuck, you can be a bitch."

"You know, as much as I'd like to play our little game at throwing daggers at each other, I'm not in the mood. Night, asshole." I turned and started back again to the tent, determined this time to actually reach it.

But in the blink of an eye he was before me, thwarting my escape. _Fuck my life!_

"What are you hiding? What makes you avoid talking about yourself? I've spent weeks with you and don't feel like I know you at all."

Did he hear himself? I should demand his man card now. He sounded like a female lead in a made for TV movie. I looked around for the Lifetime TV crew, but they must have been well camouflaged.

"What the hell, Paul? What about your family? You never once talked about a sister or that your mother died. Don't stand there and look down your nose at me when you're no better."

There were so many little things that just didn't add up with him and the others. I looked down at the large hand on my upper arm. He wasn't hurting me, but his touch was like fire. As if he was slowly branding his handprint on my flesh.

I couldn't smell the fire, but the slow burn was starting to spread all over my body. I shook my head to not think about the ache that his touch elicited in the pit of my stomach.

"What is with the heat, Paul? You should be dead at that temperature." I did a little fist pump at the flash of panic that briefly crossed his face before his scowl covered it like a shadow. I could tell I was a helluva lot closer to his secrets than he ever would get to mine.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he replied. I could tell he no more believed the words than I did.

"I didn't raise myself to be a fool. Sell that shit someplace else. What is with the growling and throwing people into walls?"

He glared at me, his mouth opening like he was going to pop off something at me, but he decided to switch the subject instead. "Why are you here?"

"Old Quil said I could stay here," I said defensively.

"No, why are you in Washington? Why are you even here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why come back after so long?"

I looked at him for a moment, his stormy-grey eyes bearing down on me. Daring me to lie. I didn't owe him shit, but the words tumbled out of my mouth nonetheless. "I came back to say goodbye."

"So school was bullshit?" He said, annoyed.

I huffed. "No, it was not. Charlie wanted me to get my diploma and signed me up without asking. I am going to take the GED. No one knows yet, so I'd appreciate you not mentioning it to anyone."

A small smile flashed on his face, but he quickly hid it. He nodded his head in acknowledgement at my request. But I couldn't figure out for the life of me why that would have made him happy.

"Why stay gone so long? Jake said you haven't been back for four years."

I shrugged, "I wasn't welcome."

"What do you mean you weren't welcome? You have family here. This is your home."

"I don't have anything here." I replied blankly, my mind wandering to my grandparents faces. If they were still alive, my life may have been so very different.

Happy.

"What are you talking about, most of the Pa… guys think the world of you. Jake, Billy, and the Quils, they all love you. How can you say you don't have anything here?"

"You know what, just forget it. Okay?" I demanded, trying to end the conversation before more memories could threaten to pulverize me.

"What are you hiding from me?" I huffed in annoyance.

"First, I'm not the one hiding the secrets. Someone else decided to… withhold information from others and I have chosen not to disclose it. Second, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not the only one keeping secrets. I'm sure it may be a shock to you, but life doesn't revolve around you. You are not meant to know everything about me. Like I said, I don't belong here."

"What are you afraid of?" he stepped closer to me. "Is it about Leah?"

I laughed humorously at the thought that the Clearwaters could force me into anything. Why should it? I didn't do anything. They reminded me of an older movie I had watched with a friend in Phoenix called "Inventing the Abbots". If I didn't exist for them to hate, they would have had to invent me.

"Well, we can't have Flowers thinking she ran me off. There would be no living with her after that." I grinned at him, but his face only showed concern... and confusion. "I call Leah Flowers after the skunk in Bambi. Her name and beauty can't hide the toxic shit hiding underneath the surface. Plus she was sprayed by a skunk as a kid and I do love to piss her off."

Again, Paul didn't say anything. He just took two large steps until he stood directly in front of me. I looked into his fathomless eyes that seemed to swirl with emotion, noticeably softer than a moment ago.

This man confused the hell out of me. His mood swings were going to give me whiplash.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been around lately, but I couldn't help it," he apologized as he inched closer to me.

_And... _I quirked a brow at him, waiting for him to go on.

He didn't.

"Noted. Well, thanks for stopping by," I replied in a clipped tone. He looked at me like I had grown a second head, completely clueless that he might need to be apologizing for something else as well. Typical.

"What?" he asked as he backed away slightly, my dismissal producing a scowl on his face.

"I'm tired. I'm going to crash."

"You're pissed." _Paul LaHote, Captain Obvious._

"Well, why do you think, Paul?" I glared at him as I crossed my arms across my chest. "You come here and bite my head off for something completely out of my control and then apologize for ignoring me for a couple days. What the hell?" I asked rhetorically. "Do me a favor. Ignore me for a couple more days and come back and apologize for tonight." I turned on my heel, prepared to stalk off, but was kept in place by his next words.

"I found your board."

Confused, I looked over my shoulder, noticing he was facing the sea. The moonlight illuminated the serious expression on his profile.

He continued, "I got home late this afternoon and went straight to the beach, not even stopping by my house. I didn't have my phone with me so I was not prepared for the what I found. As soon as I saw the damage, I panicked. Within seconds, I was in the water looking for Makala... and you," he said, meeting my eyes. "Wondering how the hell you could live through it. And just as I realize that you guys may have been long gone went the chaos hit and I begin walking out of the water, I saw it. Your board. And I lose my fucking shit because that proved you were in the water when it happened. And she was on the beach."

He paused, looking back over the water of the inlet. I shuddered at the thought of what he must have went through, alone on that beach.

"Quil showed up at some point and dragged me to see the hospital. I don't even remember the drive. One minute I'm on the beach, the next sliding doors are opening as I run into the hospital. I go inside her room, and I'm not sure whether to be horrified at seeing her in that condition or thankful that she is even alive. Its been only Max and me for so long. She is all I have left, besides Grandpa. And the longer I sat there, holding her hand, the angrier I got. Why was she in there? Who could I blame? And I realize you're not there." he said as he turned back to look in my eyes.

"Am I an asshole? Yes. Am I sorry for what I said? Yes. But I was half out of my mind at seeing Max so vulnerable that I lashed out. I needed someone to blame, even though there was no one to blame. You weren't there, so I blamed you. And I'm sorry," he finished, his expression truly repentant.

I closed my eyes, contemplating his words. I could tell he was sorry, but damn. What does he want from me? "Don't EVER speak to me like that again. I'm not your punching bag. Don't take your shit out on me and expect me to be forgiving. I am sick and tired of being everybody's fucking scapegoat." _Been there, done that._

"I won't. Bella, I am truly thankful for your saving my kid sister. She means the world to me. Your important to me too," he declared as he began to drift towards me again. I took a hesitant step back, trying to keep a safe distance away.

"Well, I need to get some sleep. Goodnight, Paul." I awkwardly said, moving slowly toward the tent.

"May I have a kiss goodnight?" he asked with a playful grin.

"I... I don't think that would be a good idea, Paul."

He looked at me with, honest to God, puppy dog eyes. Was he is trying to make this harder? "Bella, I'm sorry..."

"I know, but I'm not looking to get involved with anyone. I'm going to be leaving town..."

"Bella, no one wants you to go," he interrupted.

"Paul, this isn't about anyone but me."

"What about me?"

What about you? What a loaded question that was.

"You're a friend that helped me learn to surf and that I helped to learn to cook." A friend that makes me weak in the knees when you smile at me. That I can't stop thinking about. And who it is going to hurt like hell to walk away from.

"Is that all I am?" I felt like I was being hypnotized by a snake. A muscular, gorgeous, warm blooded male version of Medusa, sans the slithering hair. _Not good. Not good._

"Paul, I don't want to lead you on. Why start something if there is no future?"

"Are you attracted to me?"

Stupidest question ever! "You know I am," I whispered as he closed the distance between us, pulling me into the wall of his chest as he ghosted his lips along my forehead. "I don't want to do anything to you that I wouldn't want done to me. Guys do that shit all the time." _I've heard_, I thought to myself. "I don't want to be a regret of yours."

My legs began to tremble as his soft lips kissed me to my ear, his delicious scent invading my senses.

Testing my resolve.

"That could never happen," he declared as he hugged me to him tightly in his arms, moving his nose up and down my neck.

"I'm not staying, Paul." The statement would have been convincing if not for the the shake in my voice.

I heard him breathe into my skin a husky, "We'll see."

I laughed at the smugness in the words, but then I wondered if maybe he knew something I didn't. I squeezed my thighs together at the thought of what he could do to me to change my mind. "Paul, did you hear me? I. Am. Not. Staying. In. Washington."

"Believe me, I heard you," he whispered in my ear.

I had wanted him to look into my eyes when he said it. I needed to know he understood. I didn't want to sleep with him and then just leave. But as his lips started trailing down my neck and his teeth nipped at my collarbone, all coherent thought went out the proverbial window.

What were we just talking about? But as I felt Paul's lips on the skin just behind my ear, sucking softly, I lost the will to care. And the ability to breathe.

His large hands slid down my back and cupped my ass cheeks firmly, almost painfully. I squeaked slightly as my bare feet left the ground, and I quickly wrapped my legs around his hips, hooking my feet together.

While holding firmly with one hand wrapped around my waist, he brought another up to cup my cheek. As his handsome face stared into my eyes, I swooned.

Who was I kidding? I was crazy about him.

Bringing a shaking hand up to his cheek in return, I leaned forward and began to kiss him softly. He tasted every bit as good he had a week ago. Was it only a week ago?

Paul raised one hand up to hold my head steady while he deepened the kiss, weaving itself into my nest of hair. I felt him pause as his fingers brushed against my scalp.

_Fuck! This is what thinking with my hoo-ha gets me. _

I cringed internally as his heated fingertips brushed over the raised scars. I fought to hold myself still, praying his hands would roam somewhere else. That he wouldn't notice. But lady luck abandoned me long ago, and his hands drifted over my scalp again. Softly roaming over the scars as if it was Braille disclosing my life's story.

I had always tried to cover the scars the best I could with ball caps, ponytails, French braids, and my hair carefully pulled back in a barrette so that I could hide them and the thinner patches of hair surrounding them. Covering them up had become habit, to dodge both the stares and questions. The damage wasn't that bad, but I was self-conscious about it regardless.

I had hoped to avoid my their discovery in Washington. Charlie had withheld the information from Old Quil and the rest of his acquaintance for whatever reason. And although it hurt me that my misfortunes had not concerned him enough to speak to them about, I couldn't ignore the merits of the omission.

No one knowing here was just cleaner.

_But that hope is now shot to hell_, I thought as I felt his hands stop over one of the larger scars, rubbing it softly. He pulled back and I could feel his eyes on me. I slowly pried mine open so that I met his expectant gaze and softly said, "Car wreck."

He merely nodded and didn't say anything, just brought his lips back to mine in another toe curling kiss.

I felt him walking, presumably to my tent. I didn't care if we walked me to the cliff and threw us off if he kept kissing me like this.

Every step he took caused our groins to rub together in the most tantalizing way, and I was swallowing back the moan it was producing. I could feel myself getting wet, and prayed that he couldn't feel it through my panties and shorts.

I chuckled to myself at my stupidity. As wet as I was getting, he could probably smell it. As if to prove my right, I saw his nostrils flare and him groaning into my mouth.

His next step caused him to hit me where I needed most, causing me to throw my head back and say, "Oh, God."

Crashing my lips back to his, I returned the favor by rubbing against the massive bulge in his jean shorts with abandon.

Paul's hands quickly moved around to my hips to hold in a tightening grip. "Bella, you have to quit. I can't take much more," he begged, as he pulled away to allow us much needed air.

_But you feel so fucking good!_

"I can't help it. I need, I need…" I didn't finish. I wasn't sure what the hell I needed exactly, but I was certain that Paul could provide it.

"You are going to kill me," he said as he caught my lips again. He pulled me closer to his body as he started walking again.

A moment later, I was being laid down on the blankets of my tent. Paul hovered over me, his eyes hooded with lust and a cocky smirk on his face. As nice as that smirk was to look at, I had better uses for his mouth. I grabbed the fabric of his shirt and forced him down to me. Although, I didn't have to pull too hard.

We continued to kiss, our lips and tongues dancing, as his right hand traveled down the length of my waist to my hip. He gripped it tightly, eliciting a shiver from me.

I clung to his broad shoulders as he hovered over me, trying to anchor myself to reality. The whole thing felt so surreal; I couldn't think straight.

When his hand traveled back up my waist and brushed my breast, I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped into his mouth. I heard and felt a low rumble come out of Paul in reply, that only seemed to spur my lust farther.

Encouraged, my hands began to travel as well. First squeezing the biceps I was gripping tightly and then moving over to his chest. I silently cursed the piece of fabric between my hands and the contours underneath it, and I began to tug on it. I felt the smile on Paul's lips before he rose slightly and gave me his gorgeous grin. Much to my disappointment his wandering hand reached up behind his head, seizing the offending garment. Without his eyes leaving mine, he pulled it off in one fluid movement, flinging it to the side to be forgotten.

I smiled at the resulting bare pectoral and abdominal muscles, and my hands greedily stretched to grab his sides, pulling him back to me. His grin was radiant and when his free hand sought my side again, he slipped his hand underneath Quil's shirt that I was wearing.

His blazing fingers slid slowly up my waist until just below my breast, causing me to arch toward his welcomed touch. His large hand cupped my heavy breast, while his thumb brushed over my erect nipple several times and I arched farther into his palm. My breath hitched when he rolled my hardened peak between his thumb and finger, applying just the perfect amount of pressure that caused a volt of electricity to go straight to my core.

Oh My God!

He lifted up and switched arms, moving to my other breast. Desperate to feel more of his skin next to mine, I gripped the bottom of my shirt and swiftly pulled it over my head. His eyes widened in shock at my bold move and then darkened in lust as he took in my naked torso.

Before I could even register the movement, his mouth was on my breast, suckling hungrily, while his other hand tended to my long forgotten breast. I cried out in unadulterated passion as his teeth lightly brushed against my nipple.

My chest was heaving, labored by my heavy breathing. I closed my eyes in euphoria as his warm mouth kissed down the valley of my chest and up to the waiting peak above and sucked in as much of my breast as he could, deftly flicking at my rock-hard nipple with his tongue.

My hands roamed his strong shoulders, and I gripped what I could of his short hair.

My hands started to pull at his head, needing to kiss him. Catching on, his mouth traveled up my body, stalling slightly on my neck, and then crashed into mine again. We kissed hungrily, my mouth submitting to his. One of my hands gripped onto a bicep of the arm that supported his weight while the other found purchase on his back, trailing up and down, as he continued to kiss.

With each pass, my hand traveled farther down, and finally a lone finger brushed against the waist of his low riding shorts. The answering growl that caused, just spurred me on, and I ran my finger along the edge of the waistband to his hip, gripping it tightly.

I dipped my hand farther into the material, moving my thumb along the trail formed by his V, causing his breath to hitch. He released my lips, kissing along to my neck, his hand skimming along my side to my own shorts. Emboldened by his reaction, I kept my hand moving in a slow, sensuous motion toward the front of his shorts. When my thumb met the treasure trail that had been torturing me for weeks, my fingers explored it in a deliciously slow pace. I felt Paul shudder beneath my touch, and then jerk as my hand traveled down over his shorts and cupped the tent that was stretching the material to its limit.

My God, he is huge!

I heard an animalistic growl again and before I even realized what had happened, he pushed up from me, gathered both my hands and restrained them over my head. He kissed me again, hard, while his empty hand seemed to be everywhere. Minutes later, he allowed us to catch our breath, trailing kisses down to my neck. He sucked and nipped at it before he took my earlobe into his mouth, doing the same. His hot breath washed over me and caused a delicious shiver to crawl down my back. The smell of sandalwood and cinnamon enveloped me, and I breathed it in greedily.

"You feel what you do to me, Bella?" he asked, pressing into my throbbing center a little harder, pulling a moan from my lips. "Do you feel how much I fucking want you?" Once more, he thrust against me, pressing his erection to my swollen clit.

I nodded my head, not knowing what to say.

His hand moved down, dipping under the shorts I had thrown on hastily. As he cupped me over my panties, I could feel them dampening even more. I moved a hand down, tugging my shorts down. Granting him permission to remove them.

He took the hint, smirked at me and wasted no time in complying. He leaned back to sit on his heels, gradually peeling the shorts off me as he did.

I lay there, nearly naked in his presence, as he peered down on me. He leaned forward again, hooking a finger of each hand on the sides of my white, cotton panties, while he looked in my eyes. The dark-grey orbs never left mine as he painstakingly, slowly stripped me of my last article of clothing.

When he was finally sitting upright again, he looked over my nudity, his eyes darkening as they drank me in. I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard him say, "You are so beautiful."

He made to hover over me again, but I stopped him. "You are wearing too many clothes, Paul."

He smirked at me, nodding his head. I propped myself up on my elbows, watching, transfixed, as his hand moved to the zipper of his cutoffs. As he lowered the zipper, I heard as each tooth separated their hold on each other. When he finally unbuttoned the top, his massive erection jumped out, making my breath hitch.

_Dear God, please save my vagina. I have grown quite attached to it._

His cock was gorgeous. And fucking huge! Not only in length but in girth too. The work of art was slightly darker than the rest of his lovely copper skin tone, and his head was glistening in the moonlight with precum.

It occurred to me that sleeping with Paul might be a bad idea. If he didn't split me in half, as I was quite concerned he might, I was sure he would probably set the bar so high that no other man would ever be able to satisfy me. I pondered that all of two seconds before my tongue licked my lips on their own volition, and I felt myself begin to rise so that I could touch it.

"No, no Baby. Ladies first," he said as he pushed me back to lie down. He removed his cutoffs and moved over me again. Pressing his cock against me, he caught my lips in a brief kiss before he began to trail his lips south.

After a short visit to my breasts, he lingered at my belly button, dipping his tongue inside. From there his tongue trailed down to my hips, and he bit down playfully causing a giggle to escape me. He continued his titillating torture as he kissed all the way down my knee, only to switch and start back up the other leg.

I closed my eyes as a strong hand urged my thighs apart, opening my dripping pussy to his darkened eyes. The heat that had settled weeks ago in my stomach had traveled south and was now a raging inferno.

"Bella. Bella, look at me." My eyes snapped open to lock onto his. "I want you watch me. I want you to see as I give you your next orgasm of the night."

I wasn't sure how to tell him that those words alone could probably give me the next orgasm of the night. He was so fucking sexy._ I am way out of my league here._

I tried to clear the thoughts in my head as I watched him lower his mouth to my waiting sex, his intense eyes never leaving mine.

I could feel his warm breath against my skin, causing me to shiver. I gasped as his lips ran along my folds, then cried out as his mouth surrounded around my clitoris, sucking on it lightly. _Oh, hell that feels amazing!_

"Fuck! You taste so good," he growled into my center, the vibrations causing me to arch my back.

He began to work a steady rhythm, dipping his tongue in and out of me, while his thumb rubbed diligently around my hardened nub.

My eyes never left his, until he introduced a large finger to the mix. I moaned loudly as he began to slowly work the digit into my wet core.

I was going into sensory overload and began shaking my head, back and forth. _So, so fucking good!_

"Paul," I shrieked as he picked up his pace, adding another finger to the fray. I was so fucking close!

"I want you to cum in my mouth, Baby. I want to taste your delicious cream."

With that, he curled his fingers, hitting my g-spot while he seized my swollen clit into his mouth and sucked, hard.

"Yes!" I screamed, my body shaking under the onslaught of the orgasm. Color exploded behind my closed lids, like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Paul's mouth quickly replaced his fingers and he proceeded to lap at the flowing juices, devouring every drop my body offered him.

"You are absolutely delicious," he said as he finally traveled back up my body, licking his fingers. He hovered over me as he looked down on me hungrily, causing another shiver to run down my back.

I didn't say anything, certain that I was too high to be intelligible. I merely just smiled at him, and lifted up to capture his lips in a slow kiss, tasting myself on his tongue.

He rose and moved a hand to his penis and began to rub the head of his cock, back and forth, along my wet folds, pressing hard against my swollen clitoris with each tantalizing stroke.

I arched up and grabbed one of his nipples between my teeth. "Stop... teasing me," I growled.

Paul merely chuckled and moved his erection to my opening. He looked down at me, his dark-grey eyes silently asking for permission. I merely wrapped my legs around his waist, pressing the heels of my feet into his tight ass, begging for him to take me.

In one swift movement he thrust forward, taking my virginity, as he sheathed himself fully within me. I cried out in pain, hot tears welling in my eyes. He was massive. I could feel every bit of him as he stretched me far beyond my limits. The burning pain from my lost innocence was almost unbearable, and I could feel the blood trickling down my thigh.

I had heard that the first time could hurt, but I thought maybe people were exaggerating. How could something that is supposed to feel so good, be painful? However, I stood corrected. It fucking hurt like hell!

I could feel the tension in Paul's shoulders and back and was sure there was a panicked expression on his face. He pulled back slightly and his anxious eyes locked onto mine. I gave him a weak smile, but I'm sure that it was belied by the tears streaming down my face.

"I didn't... I didn't know. I'm so sorry," Paul stuttered, as realization came over him that he had just tore through my hymen like a wrecking ball, his husky voice lost to his alarm.

"I'm not," I breathed into his ear. I took his earlobe in between my teeth and nibbled hungrily. The shiver that elicited in the large, masculine frame between my legs made me smile. _Not bad for a virgin. Not bad at all._

"Bella, I… I…" he started again backing away from me, his large cock slipping out of me. I whimpered, half from the pain and half from the loss. _Unbelievable! _I am being cock blocked by the guy with the cock. I sighed.

I sat up slightly, grimacing from the ache between my legs, so that I could see him better. He was sitting back on his heels, eyes closed and his hands clenched. He was shaking, almost violently, and I would have thought he was sobbing if not for the look of rage on his face.

Feeling the need to console him, I scrambled to kneel before him, careful not to look down at the battering ram at his groin, lest I lose my nerve. I raised my hand and grabbed his strong jaw and lifted his face so that he would look into my eyes, willing him to see my longing, passion.

For him to see how much I really wanted this. Needed it.

He opened his mouth again to spew more unnecessary apologies, but I stopped him by placing my finger firmly on his lips. I looked meaningfully into his worried eyes and spoke with as much conviction as I could muster, "Paul, don't ruin this."

And then I crashed my lips into his. At first he was hesitant, but then his frame seemed to rumble with the sexiest growl I had ever heard and he started battling me for dominance again. _Hell yeah!_

I wrapped my arms around his neck and started climbing up into his lap like the lust-filled monkey I was, wrapping my legs around him.

His burning hands seared the flesh on my hips, as he moved his mouth into the neck again, concentrating on a spot at my shoulder. I began rocking myself back and forth against his shaft that was nestled on my clit. The friction that my wanton movements caused made me moan in pleasure.

"Paul, please!"

The grip on my hips tightened as he lifted me. I brought my hand down and grabbed his throbbing cock and guided it to my entrance. When he was lined up, Paul slowly lowered me onto his shaft, inch by delicious inch. The pain returned, but not as bad, and I kept my big mouth shut, focusing on Paul's eyes, as his looked into mine.

My eyes closed when he was fully seated in me again, but not quite as deep as he had been before. Paul remained still, waiting for a sign from me to continue. I kissed his cheeks softly to try to take the pained look off his face. If I was even half as tight as he was big, then I must have been constricting the hell out of his cock.

His mouth found mine again and he began to kiss me, almost chastely. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and deepened the kiss while I breathed him in. His scent was so intoxicating, so male.

I carefully rolled my hips, causing Paul to groan. It still hurt, but a sliver of pleasure was present as well. I began to rock against him, causing him to jerk upward involuntarily.

"Fuck, Bella!"

He began to move inside of me slowly, causing my stomach to tighten. I rose slightly with my knees, so that I could lower down as he thrust up.

"So… fucking… tight," he growled into my ear. The pressure was building inside of me, but was hindered by the burn between my legs. He was so fucking big that not even the slow pace he was moving could avoid the pain.

After a while his thrusts became harder, more random. I could feel him twitch inside of me, and I knew he was close.

"Paul…"

As if he could read my mind for something more, he slipped a hand between us, taking my pulsing clit in-between is nimble fingers. The sensation caused electricity to shoot up my body, and my nails dug into his flesh, trying to hold on.

I was panting, uncontrollably, his ministrations pushing me toward a precipice. A peak I just could not quite reach through the aching in my core.

I hugged him to me and he latched on a rock hard nipple, suckling it into his mouth greedily, causing me to throw my head back in pure ecstasy.

"Paul… " _Paul, don't stop. Don't stop! For the love of God. Don't. Stop!_

"Now, Bella. Cum for me now!" he ordered as he squeezed my clit firmly and bit, lightly, on my nipple.

And I went soaring! "Fuck, Paul!" I screamed, as white light blinded me to everything.

I shuddered around his massive dick, drowning him in my orgasm, and I could feel as his cock throbbed in reply. He thrust two more times before he erupted inside me, screaming my name as he shot his warm seed into me with long, streaming pulses.

He buried his head in the valley of my breast, as he breathed deeply several times, trying to catch his breath. I opened my eyes, straining to see him in the moonlight.

He pulled back slightly, looking at me with an intensity I was not prepared for, his dark-grey eyes almost shining unnaturally. He was so fucking gorgeous. His expression turned tender and he cupped my cheek and kissed me sweetly on the forehead. "Mmmmm."

The action seemed so foreign to him, or at least my idea of him in these situations. I didn't know how he acted with others after sex, but that lone action was definitely not what I had envisioned.

I smiled at him and laid my head on his broad shoulder, hugging him to me. We remained silent, each lost in our thoughts.

Running my hands down his back, I could feel the raised scratches I had left with my nails. I probably should have felt bad, but I couldn't muster the sympathy. I felt a smug satisfaction of that, a small bit of vengefulness for the sake of my poor vagina. But not only did he not seem affected, my actions had only seemed to drive him crazy. Something I had very much benefited from.

But I was exhausted, so I would give him my half-hearted apology tomorrow. Maybe.

I stifled a yawn, causing Paul to chuckle. He laid back into the nest of blankets and pillows, pulling me along with him, his now flaccid cock slipping from me. I stretched out on top of him, like a cat preparing for its nap.

I hoped I hadn't completely fucked up, but I almost didn't care if I had. I could never regret this evening.

But the repercussions of it? That was a different matter.

I hoped Paul heeded my warning that I gave him. Although I could almost see a life with him, snuggling like we were after passionate sex, I had vowed that Washington was only a temporary stop.

I drifted off to sleep to the soundtrack of his strong heartbeat, as Paul's rugged hands glided lazily up and down my back.

* * *

_A/N Thanks for reading!_


	16. Chapter 15: Reflections

_A/N Thanks to all the wonderful ladies who help with this story. You ladies rock! Okay, hopefully you all haven't abandoned me in my absence. I am back to writing and I promise that I will finish this story. Hoping it is all done within a year of starting it. But the important thing is to finish it._

_A belated reminder for last chapter, always practice safe sex. Bella and Paul are fictional characters, and things will probably work out for them. Maybe. Possibly. But unprotected sex rarely works out in real life._

_Oh, and of course I own nothing._

* * *

_**Previously on Breath of Life:**_

_I stifled a yawn, causing Paul to chuckle. He laid back into the nest of blankets and pillows, pulling me along with him, his now flaccid cock slipping from me. I stretched out on top of him, like a cat preparing for its nap._

_I hoped I hadn't completely fucked up, but I almost didn't care if I had. I could never regret this evening._

_But the repercussions of it? That was a different matter._

_I hoped Paul heeded my warning that I gave him. Although I could almost see a life with him, snuggling like we were after passionate sex, I had vowed that Washington was only a temporary stop._

_I drifted off to sleep to the soundtrack of his strong heartbeat, as Paul's rugged hands glided lazily up and down my back._

* * *

___**~B of L~**_

**Chapter 15: Reflections**

_**PPOV**_

I laid there in awe of the angel in my arms and the surreal moment we had shared.

I didn't see our hooking up tonight coming. Did I want it? Sure, I was a guy and I had wanted her practically since the moment I saw her. But tonight, I did not see this happening. I was so livid when I arrived, blaming her for shit that was not her fault. And I fucking almost phased near her. I was a hairs breadth away from it.

And it wasn't the wolf, it was me. He kept telling me to stop and refused to be released in her presence. Then later, he wanted to fix the hurt and anger on her face, in her eyes. When she had dismissed me, the poor bastard in my head rolled over and whimpered.

To put it mildly, I was confused as hell. First of all, I hadn't imprinted. Secondly, ever since I had first phased, the wolf had been silent whenever I was with a woman.

Up until Bella.

He seemed to be as infatuated with her as I was, if that was even possible. He was in a frenzy to have her.

To taste her.

To feel her. So much that I wasn't thinking and just plunged into her. Her cry of pain woke us both the fuck up, and we both freaked the fuck out at what we had done. But Bella helped us recover, calling us out on our bullshit and taking control with the same assertiveness she had shown earlier in the evening.

She had felt so good. _Soooo damnnnn goooood._ My wolf was practically howling, begging for even more. Things that I knew she couldn't handle.

So I just held her to me, thrusting into her as she hugged me tightly, digging her nails into my back to point it was almost painful. And when I came? I have never felt an orgasm like that. From the tip of my toes to the top of my head.

Ever.

I shook my head, and hugged Bella to me. She was absolutely amazing.

I was in serious, serious trouble.

Rubbing soothing circles on her back, I fell asleep listening to Bella's soft breaths and steady heartbeats.

* * *

I slept well, but it was marred with confusing dreams. I dreamt of my mother, her youthful cheerfulness that she had so much trouble keeping up in Portland was visible again. It made my heart ache to see her, knowing she would slip through my fingers when consciousness re-claimed me. I often wondered what life would have been like if she had not died. Would I have even phased? What would she think of Bella? _Duh_, I had no doubt that she would have adored her.

In my dream, Mom was giving me what had been her almost weekly speech about how to treat women. She kept hearing things about me and had been concerned. But of course, I had let it go in one ear and out the other. It was the commitment that I was scared about, and she never failed to call me out on it. Not that she was expecting me to find my soulmate at sixteen, but she wanted me to give love a chance. I had always scoffed at the thought of love. Mom and the asshole's marriage had always been rocky, and I couldn't remember a single moment of happiness that had him in it. The only healthy relationships I had been around growing up were hundreds of miles away - my grandparents, the Blacks, and the Atearas.

_"You are going to find a girl one day that you are head over heels about, and she is going to be as scared of commitment as you are,"_ Mom had prophesied. At my eye roll, she had smiled sadly, the wisdom behind her words showing on her face. _"Promise me, Buddy, that when that time comes that you don't give up, no matter how much she pushes you away. If you love her, fight for her."_

I woke up to her words repeating in my head. _If you love her, fight for her._

I would have said it was strange that I would dream about that conversation with Mom after meeting Bella. The one and only girl that I had ever thought anything about. But I was a fucking shapeshifter who phased into a horse-sized wolf. My entire life was filled with the strange and supernatural.

It had to be Bella, I was crazy about her and she had been playing hard to get since the moment I had met her. And I wasn't naive enough to think that I had won her after last night either.

She wasn't mine… yet.

She had been adamant about not being a permanent fixture in Forks, repeating it over and over again when all I wanted was to hear her moan my name. It was more like she was trying to convince herself rather than me.

But I couldn't ask. I was many things but clingy was not one of them. If a girl asked me the morning after where we were going, I wouldn't be able to run away fast enough. Not that I ever stayed the night anywhere, but that was beside the point.

There were rules about these things. I was supposed to be patient. Supposed to be content that she had enjoyed herself last night, which she most definitely had. But it still worried me. There was nothing keeping her here. It wasn't like she was my imprint.

I sighed.

I was really beginning to wish I had imprinted on her. What I had once thought of as a curse would only be a blessing with regard to her. She was incredible, and I was absolutely crazy about her. She already fit in with the pack, being related to Quil and Jake and friends with Embry, although I wasn't happy about him necessarily.

A life with her could be as easy as breathing. _Taha Aki, I sounded like a fucking pussy._

But my life had never been easy, and I was beginning to realize that neither had hers.

The scars on her scalp concerned me. They had completely blindsided me as they really were hard to notice the way she wore her hair.

Jake and Quil never mentioned that she had been in a wreck, and that could only mean they didn't know. As close as they appeared, that really seemed weird. Were the scars why she had stayed away for so long, or was it because of her mother, like Quil had told me?

But then again, she had mentioned something about not being welcome as her reason for being gone so long. What was that about?

Women really were complicated and confusing when you started paying attention to them.

I remembered that her body had stiffened last night when she realized my hands were on her scalp, just like our first kiss. The look on her face hadn't been embarrassment, but fear. Like she didn't want anyone to know.

But why? It was really hard to notice.

Car wrecks happened all the time, unfortunately. Sarah Black had been lost in one many years ago. Even my own paternal grandparents had been killed when an elk walked in front of their car almost thirteen years ago.

But Bella was fine. She was gorgeous.

I opened my eyes slowly, stretching my large frame. I would have felt claustrophobic, perhaps, if not for the clear top of the tent. A handy little feature that allowed the stars and moon to shine through during the night, but also allowed the annoying…_ shit_, almost afternoon sun.

I realized that I hadn't rolled over anyone. Both arms began searching over the blankets for the soft body that had fallen asleep on top of me. Disappointment filled me when I realized she was not lying beside me. And she wasn't in the tent either.

I figured this was karma. I couldn't count the number of hit and runs I had pulled over the years, sneaking out while the girl slept in sated bliss. Half the time I left as soon as the condom was...

Condom.

I bolted up into a sitting position. I don't remember putting on a condom last night. She fell asleep on me right after; I never got up to dispose of one.

_Ah fuck!_

Not only do I rip through her virginity, but I did it without protection.

_Fuck! How did I make such a rookie mistake? _I might as well have cum in my shorts when she first touched me and went for the trifecta.

_'If you want to tap it, wrap it'_ had been my motto long before the wolf came about. I always kept them in my wallet and vehicle. A few brief encounters in Portland, but almost too many to count since coming back to La Push.

And after all my those women, last night was the first time that I didn't have protection on.

I dug my palms into my eyes. _I am in so much trouble!_

Obviously she was clean, and the supernatural wolf kept me as well.

_But what does she think of me? Is that why she's gone?_

I stepped groggily out of the tent, my ears straining to hear Bella's whereabouts that my sight could not locate. Instead of the petite brunette, my eyes landed on her trusty sidekick instead.

His head was resting on his front paws, while his back legs were stretched out behind him. His reproachful eyes watching me without apology, following my movements like a prison guard would a dangerous inmate. The intensity of his gaze was starting to make me feel uncomfortable, which I didn't need any help with today.

I growled at him in warning, trying to remind him that I was top dog around here. However, he flat out snarled at me with his hackles raised. Last night he had bolted at the first sign of aggression, and now he acted like he was ready to go fifteen rounds with me.

Quil was right; the dog was odd.

I was going to have enough problems dealing with Jake and Quil. Well, Jake at least. I was fairly certain that his wanting me to watch Bella did not entail sleeping with her. I was positive it didn't involve my taking her virginity with all the gentleness of a bulldozer.

I heard her come walking up the path. As she turned the bend into the clearing, my heart almost stopped at the vision in front of me.

_Fuuuuck!_

Bella stopped when she saw me standing at the campsite and stood there wearing a black bikini. Nothing else.

My dick instantly reacted.

I could hear her heart beginning to race as she approached the campsite, her hand wringing the towel that she had been drying her hair with. Her cheeks were flaming in embarrassment at my heated gaze, and as she passed briskly by me, I caught the smell of… Head and Shoulders?

She bolted into the tent and reemerged with a tank on and some kind of skin-blocking denim thing that I cursed to the fiery pits of hell. She gave me a shy smile at my blatant eye-fucking and sat down on a fallen log by the fire pit nonchalantly, as if the last five minutes hadn't happened.

She replied when I asked her where she was, taunting me playfully. And when she gave me a sexy little smirk, I couldn't stop the low growl that rumbled out of my chest.

I stalked toward my prey.

* * *

_**~B of L~**_

_**BPOV**_

_I walked down the trail slowly, watching my steps carefully as I held tightly to Chase's hand, who was anxious to get to the bottom. He would point happily at Jax and laugh along with me as we watched Jax relentlessly pursue bird after bird, only getting frustration for his trouble._

_When we hit the bottom, Chase dropped my hand and ran down the beach, laughing as Jax barked at him and followed happily behind. They disappeared temporarily from my sight behind a sea stack, although I could still hear the excited canine's bark._

_I slipped my sandals off, burying my toes in the cool sand, and leisurely followed paw and footprints. After clearing the stack, I stopped to observe the sight before me._

_I watched as Paul and Chase played happily in the surf, smiling widely as Chase's peels of laughter and Paul's boisterous guffaws reached my ears. They were so carefree and happy. The same twinkling eyes and gorgeous smiles._

_"Where's your momma, son?" Paul asked as he swung Chase around._

_Chase looked up at Paul's words. His eyes shining in their mirth, and gave me a wide grin. At the boy's change in attention, Paul turned and focused his dark, grey eyes on me, making my body almost buzz from the intensity of the stare._

_"There she is," Paul smirked as he began walking toward me, never moving his eyes from mine. In several short strides he was before me, wrapping me protectively in his strong arms. His lips met mine in a tender but passionate kiss that had me almost weak at the knees._

_"How are my girls today?" He asked as he pulled back slightly to look down at me as his hands rubbed my stomach. My hands moved to cover his large hands that almost covered my slightly swelled belly..._

My eyes snapped open and I tried to stop my ragged breathing. I found myself wrapped into Paul's side, memories of last night flooding through my mind. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face, but it quickly fell off when my dream came back to my head.

I wiggled my way out of Paul's arms and rolled over to stare through the clear roof of the tent. _What was that?_

Chase was my future child? He was my and Paul's child? It didn't make sense but then again, it did. He looked so much like Paul he could almost pass for his clone. I had always felt such a connection to the boy. It really made perfect sense.

But why dream about him?

Did my libido want me to have sex and conjured up a stalking two old to get me to have it? Plausible, but it seemed more like a deterrent really.

And why did Chase appear to me in the broad daylight? I shook my head. Sometimes the simplest answer is the best one.

I was profoundly and irrevocably screwed up.

I attempted to sit up when I felt wetness between my legs. I recalled the blood last night and I shuddered at the horrifying possibility of so much of it now. But I couldn't smell it, which i was convinced I would be able to, no matter what people said. There was a small possibility I could have started early and I shuddered at how mortifying it would be to get my period now, when tampons were the last thing I had packed.

Biting the bullet, I moved the sheet out of my way so that I could check. My eyes shot up into my hairline.

_That_ shouldn't be there unless...

I sucked in a deep breath. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to remember. As worked up as I was last night, it was possible that he could have put a condom on. It was possible, but the evidence at my groin made me highly doubt it.

_No. No. No. Are you kidding me?_

_Okay, don't freak out! You wanted it. No, you needed it_, I reminded myself.

_And it was amazing. Not perfect, obviously, as it was a little more painful than I would have expected but really, really good._

It was good because I liked Paul, but did I like him enough to have a kid with him? Maybe, but not now. I wasn't even nineteen, and my life was one huge question mark. I wasn't sure what I wanted in life yet, or even an inkling of how to go about getting it if I did.

Did I want a family? I used to not. Eighteen years with Renee and Charlie as parents had soured me on any thought of having a family. I was only ever a burden to them, much like they were to me. My grandparents were the only sense of family that I had ever had and they were gone.

Looking at the serene face of the man snoring lightly beside me, I couldn't help but see the young boy in his features. Would Paul be so calm when he pondered what our lust-driven actions could have created? Would he be a good father?

I groaned. Instead of freaking out, like I had every right to be doing, I was more concerned if the man I just had unprotected sex with would be a good father.

I blamed Charlie.

Maybe Chase a little too. God knows that I would not be calmly thinking of getting knocked up after my first time if not for the little stalker.

What if I was pregnant? With Chase? I already felt a connection to him. How could I feel upset about the possibility of him?

I inhaled deeply, these thoughts were a little much for... whatever fucking time it was in the morning.

Carefully, I crawled toward the entrance of the tent, moaning quietly in my discomfort. I was sore as hell. I pulled Quil's shirt over my head, and slipped on my shorts from last night. Deciding to wait to finish dressing until after I was cleaned up, I rummaged through a bag for my bikini and pushed it into a ziploc bag with some toiletries.

Grabbing a towel, I tiptoed to the entrance but stopped to look back at Paul. I actually thought it would have been him slipping away from a sleeping me. I know thinking that made me a bit of a bitch and he didn't deserve for me to be so unfair to him. It wasn't that I really thought he would, there was something in his eyes that told me he wouldn't do that. The thing was that I wanted him to do it; that him sneaking out on me would show that he wasn't as interested in me as I suspected he might be. Like I was realizing I was for him.

But I needed to clean up, and think. So, I had to leave.

With one last longing glance, I quietly got out of the tent, shielding my eyes from the direct sunlight. It wasn't noon yet and already it was fairly warm with a little breeze blowing through. It was going to be really warm today.

After my vision returned, my eyes landed on Jax. "Hey boy," I said to the pup, apparently having forgiven him for abandoning me last night. Perhaps he knew I was in good hands after all.

I stepped into my sandals and walked to the edge of the cliff, breathing in the smell of the ocean. I looked down to the beach on the right, surprised that no one was here with the nice weather. But it was closed off to the public and it was a Sunday morning. The water was calm, as it always was, and looked extremely inviting. The inlet was flanked by large, towering cliffs that stretched out to the ocean. I could just jump in, like I had many times before. There were was no rush quite like jumping off a cliff into the cool Pacific ocean.

As much as I wanted to leap off the edge, I wasn't sure if it was safe anymore. Just as time changed people, it changed other things as well. Time could change the topography of the ocean, particularly rock slides. And what was once a deep little bay, perfect for diving, could be a potential nightmare in the making. As much as I longed to relive a moment of a happy part of my childhood, I wouldn't risk my life or time in the hospital.

I could see the trail meandering to the beach and then along the water until it disappeared in the rocks. I would walk along it to the water and then swim a little to 'test the waters' so to speak. Hopefully, there was a still a waterfall at the end the trail and I could wash up in it.

I began walking, but stopped when I heard the familiar jingle of Jax's collar behind me. I turned and spoke softly. "You need to stay. Watch over Paul." He made a noise that I could have sworn was a snort, but I narrowed my eyes at him and ordered, "Stay." It wasn't that I didn't want him with me. But if Paul awoke before I got back, he would be less inclined to think I had bolted if my dog was still there.

Stupid? Perhaps, but it made sense to me, or rather, made me feel a little better.

It took several minutes to make my way down to the beach. Third Beach was a secluded beach that oddly faced the southwest. It partially faced the opposite side of the inlet and the open sea, as the coast receded into the mainland slightly. There were a few sea stacks perturbing out of the ocean close to the entrance of the inlet and the northern part of the entrance was a spit curving back into the bay. The beach didn't get direct waves because of its placement, just ricochets from whatever made its way into the inlet. That was why it was such a good place to swim. That and the depth of the inlet and surrounding area.

I walked along the trail past the beach for a while, until I thought it was time to brave the water. I slipped off my sandals and left them and the towel on the trail, and jumped into the cool water. It wasn't that bad, but I had been used to the protection of my springsuit. I tightly clutched the plastic bag as I slowly swam toward the entrance of the bay. When I was just below where my camp was I looked up to see Jax staring down at me. I smiled and gave him a little wave.

This was probably one of my favorite places on Earth, not that I was well traveled by any stretch of the imagination. I had spent so much time swimming here as a kid, countless hours with Jake, Quil, and Embry. We would play hide and seek, hiding in the tiny recesses and alcoves in the cliff walls. Sometimes we would swim out and hide behind the sea stacks, or at least we did until Old Quil and Papa caught us one time and we had to stay inside the house for a week.

We didn't swim out there again.

I dived under the water for a second to see if it the depth was good for diving and was glad to see it still was. I could also see an entrance to one of the many underwater caves in the vicinity. I had found them first. Well, at least out of our motley little crew; I'm sure some Quileute kid had found them at some point.

The day I made my discovery I had been the last one to jump off the cliff to hide, not really into it because I had lost every other time that day. I recall it was unusually sunny, and when I opened my eyes underwater after jumping in, I happened to notice the shadow in the cliff. Curious, I made my way to it but hesitated at the entrance, fear of what was lurking inside to make a meal out of me. But as I peered inside, I noticed some light within. Figuring where there was light there was air, I entered. I was amazed at the cave I found inside, hidden for centuries from the world. Light cascaded down from holes high on the wall of the cave, there was a little stream of fresh water that emptied into the pool. I was eleven and thought it was a magical place.

And the best part? It had put me and hide-and-seek on a whole new level. I was undefeated for quite some time until Embry cheated and followed me one day. I graciously shared my hideaway, or our new clubhouse, with my cousins and friend, and we became obsessed in finding all the caves we could.

Good times.

Continuing on, I made my way to the arch in the spit. Stepping back on the trail, I shivered slightly in the breeze. As I passed through the arch, a breathtaking waterfall became visible. The waterfall faced the ocean and was fed by the stream that ran behind the campsite. It wasn't very big, but it was beautiful.

I peeled off my clothes, not worried that anyone could see. Only a boat would be able to see me in the alcove that the waterfall resided. I highly doubted someone was anchored offshore to wait for a naked woman to bathe in the waterfall. If so, this was their lucky day.

I reveled in the feel of the water, that almost felt warm after the the cool ocean, as I washed my hair and body. It felt so good to wash the sweat off, but I sighed as I took a sniff, missing the scent of my vanilla body wash and strawberry shampoo. Perhaps Joy had had something better but I was in a hurry when I gathered things up. I would just have to smell like Quil and Old Quil for the foreseeable future.

The blood washed off easily and seemed to have stopped, but I was still sore as hell. I could see bruises on my hips, although I really couldn't remember any pain last night to cause them. I recall Paul's strong grip on me and wishing he would hold me tighter.

When I was done, I quickly put my bikini on and brushed my teeth thoroughly, upset that I didn't grab some dental floss. That would bug me all day. I carefully made my way back to the beach. The trail at times could be precarious, sometimes only a narrow ledge to navigate. When I reached my shoes and towel, I finished drying off and wrapped my head in the towel.

I took my time walking back, half wanting to give Paul more time to sleep and the other half hoping he had fled in my absence. Yes, I was the Coward of Clallam County. When I got to the top of the cliff and into the clearing I looked up to see him staring at me.

_Crap! Why didn't I take more clothes down there?_

I quickly walked past him with crimson cheeks and a racing heart, practically diving into the tent out of embarrassment. _Why did he get under my skin so bad? _I threw the plastic bag of toiletries on my bag, and pulled out a tank and a pair of overall shorts and quickly put them on. I faked a breezy demeanor and walked outside and sat down on a log by Jax, scratching behind his ears. I looked up to see Paul still watching me with a strange look on his face, glued in his spot.

"Where have you been?" he questioned, his tone short and clipped. I raised a brow at him.

"Cleaning up in the waterfall." To my delight, he groaned slightly. "Why, miss me?" I smiled at him.

In three short strides, he was in front of me, pulling me up into his arms and crashing his mouth on mine. I melted into the kiss, and moaned as his tongue darted into my mouth.

I could feel myself getting lost into the kiss, him. He had that effect on me, making every molecule in me buzz with an electricity that I had never known before. Then he began kissing down my neck and was paying extra attention to the spot where my shoulder and neck met, making my stomach clench with need.

If I didn't stop us now, I never would.

Panting loudly, I pulled away and looked up into his dark eyes. "I think we have a little bit to discuss, don't you?"

The smoldering look on his face faded and he gave a short nod. I couldn't help the feeling of loss that passed through me when he placed my feet back on the ground and took a reluctant step back.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth to begin but was interrupted.

"Bella, I am so sorry. I didn't intend for that to happen, you have to know that." I'm sure he could see the hurt look on my face, and he quickly added. "No. Don't think that. I wanted it. I want you, but I need you to understand that was not why I came here last night."

He swallowed and closed his eyes, trying to find his next words. "Bella, I did something stupid…"

"I know."

"I am sorry. I have never not used one before," he implored. "I don't know what to say. I just… I just got lost in you." _Swoon!_

"Its okay Paul. There were two of us there. I didn't think of it either."

"It won't happen again," he assured me. "Hopefully the birth control…"

I gave him a sheepish look. "I'm not taking any. But I think we will be okay; my periods are fairly irregular and I'm due to start soon." I internally groaned, not believing the shit coming out of my mouth. _Let's just go ahead and tell him if you are a pad or tampon kind of girl and describe your cramps to him. Men love that,_ I thought to myself.

"You aren't on the pill?" he wheezed, his eyes widening in panic. My questions to his feelings towards fatherhood essentially answered.

"Why would I be?" I asked rhetorically, trying to subtly remind him that I had not been sexually active.

"You said you weren't regular. Doesn't the pill help with that?"

I huffed at the fact he knew that and I didn't.

"I don't like doctors, and again, I never felt I needed any. Obviously, I wish I would have thought about it beforehand, but hindsight is always 20/20." I gritted out trying to stop the uncomfortable conversation.

I succeeded, but an unbearable silence fell between us.

He turned around like he heard something, giving me an unobstructed view of his chiseled, unmarked back. There had been a little blood under my nails earlier when I washed up. But his back looked as smooth as a baby's bottom. I didn't expect it to stay marked up for a week, but at least longer than eight, ten hours.

Strange.

"I thought you said you didn't have a phone," he suddenly said with a scowl on his face, breaking me out of my reverie. I quirked my brow at his random statement, but watched as he nodded his head toward my stuff. It must have been ringing, even though I couldn't hear it.

Paul seemed somewhat put out that he didn't know about it. I had realized that my staying with Charlie was extremely short term and I needed something simple that people could leave messages on if needed. And although I loved my truck, she was probably on her last leg; I needed a way to contact someone if she broke down. Old Quil had happened to see the phone box in my truck and had pried the number from me. Demanding old coot.

"I didn't at the time. I just got it earlier in the week." I made my way to the tent, still not hearing anything.

Searching through my backpack, I found the cell and noticed it was on vibrate. I had several missed calls earlier this morning from Old Quil. I had one voicemail as well and apparently a text. I hadn't even realized I had text on my plan. I looked at the text from Old Quil and smiled brightly.

Looking up into the Paul's eyes, I said "Makala is awake."

* * *

_**~B of L~**_

A half hour later we walked briskly into Forks General. Paul seemed to be a little out of it, tense and distant, so I gripped his hand tightly to drag him inside.

His concern for his sister was apparent, but he lingered outside of her door pushing me inside first, like he was afraid to face the nine year old.

Makala was sitting up, leaning against a nest of pillows. She looked up at our entrance, her eyes widened.

"Bella," she whispered, giving me a frightened look, but when she saw Paul standing behind me it was replaced with relief. A brilliant smile graced her face and she opened her arms wide for her big brother to hug her.

He crossed the room in four short strides and hugged her tightly, making the girl giggle. "You scared us," I heard him whisper in her ear.

"Sorry." She apologized sheepishly, as if she could have avoided anything that had happened to her.

"It's okay, Max. Just please, don't do it again." He smiled down at her, then ruffled her hair. She tried to slap at his hand, but he dodged her and stepped back.

"What do you remember?"

"I was running away from the big wave one minute, then the next thing I remember I am on the beach." She looked apprehensively at her brother. "I thought I saw Momma." Paul tensed imperceptibly, but she didn't notice. "She smiled at me, but I didn't get to talk to her before I feel asleep. Then, I woke up here."

"That's good, Sis," Paul said with a tight smile. I could tell he was uncomfortable.

Makala caught my eyes for a moment, and I could practically see the wheels turning in her head. After her deliberation was over, she finally spoke. "I talked with a lady, while I was sleeping. She was very nice, asking me what I like to do." She looked at me curiously. "We spoke about you, I think she knows you."

My curiosity was peaked. You always hear about people having strange dreams in near death situations. It had never happened to me, but that didn't mean I didn't believe it. Kind of like the whole theory of multiple orgasms.

Boy, I really hope that one is true.

Gran and Nanna both spoke a lot about dreams, saying that they were the subconscious trying to be heard. Doris and Molly went a little farther and said dreams were the Spirits trying to get in touch with us.

For the life of me, I'm not sure what the two-year-old of my dreams was trying to convey to me.

"She wanted me to ask you something," Makala continued.

"Oh, really? What?"

"Something about dancing. Did you go dancing, or maybe if you like dancing? I can't remember exactly what though."

I smiled, my heart swelling with love and memories of Gran. My Gran talking to the girl about me didn't seem so odd considering the last couple of weeks, hell days. She was looking out for me like she promised, and I couldn't help the sense of hope rising up in me.

"Do you know what she was talking about? Do you know her?" Makala's wide eyes were fixed with me, waiting on my answer.

"Yes honey, I do. I know her very well. Thanks for sending the message."

I gave her shoulders a squeeze and backed up into a strong, muscular wall. Paul wrapped his arms around me and looked down at me curiously. I shook my head and mouthed "Later" to him to appease him. But I was sure he would ask about it later.

And for the first time in a long time, I thought I might actually open up to somebody again.

* * *

_**~B of L~**_

"Can you take me by Charlie's?" I asked as we waited to pull out of the hospital's parking lot later that evening.

"Sure. Why?"

"I need to pick some things up. It won't take long."

"No problem," Paul said as he pulled onto the street. Minutes later he pulled onto Charlie's street, and I groaned when I saw the cruiser in the driveway.

_Damn it!_

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I was just hoping I could avoid him, at least for today." I opened the door slowly, dreading the coming, sure to be, awkward conversation. Before jumping out, I looked at Paul's questioning face. The last thing I needed was to mix him and Charlie right now. My intuition told me that they would get along about as well as oil and water. "I normally would invite you in, but I'm in a bit of a hurry."

"You sure? I could help."

"No, I just had a bad fight with him yesterday, and things could be... tense. I don't want you to get uncomfortable if we get into it again. Stay out here, and I will be as quick as I can. I'll cook something for you when we get to the reservation."

Paul's eyes brightened at the mention of food. I gave him a smile and made my way into the house.

Stepping inside and shutting the door, I looked around at the house I had left roughly thirty-six hours earlier. I was amazed at how much things had changed in such a short amount of time. I had went through the entire plethora of human emotions, and I was exhausted.

I felt like a totally different person.

I eased my way into the entryway of the living room, peering inside to find Charlie looking, for a change, outside rather than the baseball game on the flat screen.

"I thought you weren't moving out until the end of the month," he said looking out the front window, eyeing Paul suspiciously.

"I'm only here for a few things. Do you need me to fix anything for you to eat?" I offered as I walked back to the mudroom to grab Jax's food bowls. When I turned around and started back to the kitchen so I could empty the water, Charlie was standing in the hallway solemnly watching me.

He shook his head, looking at me sadly. "I would like to talk."

"Well, I'm pretty tired after spending all day with Makala. And I don't want to keep Paul waiting," I said, eyeing the stairs longingly.

"Okay. But there are things I need to let you know about. Just don't do anything long term before we can talk. Please."

I gave him a curious look, but fought the urge to ask. Instead, I climbed the stairs to my room and quickly gathered a sack full of clothes and somemore toiletries. As I made my way down, I watched as Charlie glared silently at Paul from the front door.

"Bella, wait," he said as he caught my arm as I passed him. "I know you have been spending time with Lahote…"

_Not this shit again._ I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for him to swallow his foot.

I didn't have to wait long.

"You don't know him very well, but he has a bit of a reputation." I rolled my eyes. I knew Paul a hell of a lot better than I knew him. "Like father, like son," he muttered lowly at the end, not thinking that I would hear.

My blood boiled at the audacity of the man in front of me. Again, I was flabbergasted that he was Gran and Pa's son. "I know that you're apparent disdain of Paul is not based on his father. That would mean that you didn't learn a damn thing from the conservation we had yesterday. God forbid people made presumptions about me." Of course that had already happened, but I was of the opinion that the Clearwaters could not be classified as people. "What would they accuse me of, Chief Swan?" I asked rhetorically.

Shaking my head, I walked out to my truck and jumped in, leaving the sperm donor alone to ponder that question.

Paul was quiet for a long time. He opened his mouth a couple times as if to say something, but closed it promptly. Finally, something got its way out, "Good visit?"

"About what I expected."

"He doesn't seem to like me too much."

"Charlie doesn't like anything that isn't beer, the Mariners, or fishing."

"He seems to like you." He observed as he drove.

I looked at him, unsure exactly what my expression portrayed. Biting my tongue to keep from saying too much, I just turned back and sighed. I leaned my head against the window and stared blankly at nothing, neither meeting the sorrow in the reflection of my eyes nor the green blur passing quickly behind the glass.

* * *

_A/N Thanks for reading! And thanks for sticking with the story while I battled to get the next chapter out. Ch 16 & 17 are nearly written so they will be coming soon. I really appreciate everyone's reviews, follows, favorites and most of all, patience. Means a lot._

_Been a long time since I have gave recommendations. Below are only a few of some of the great stories out in the fandom._

_Atonement by BetterinTexas Garrett/Bella_

_Picture Perfect by PurplePixie143 Peter/Bella_

_Haven't Met You Yet by Hanane EL Mokkadem Jasper/Bella Peter/Leah_

_The Devil You Know by Unseelie Sidhe Paul/Bella_

_The Godparents by abbymickey24 Jasper/Bella_

_Troth by 0acadiaelle0 Carlisle/Bella_

_Temptation by Lolita The Gothic Aro/Bella_

_The Arrangement by PurplePixie143 Emmett/Bella_

_Tall, Dark and Deadly by Vampire-Addict-22 Felix/Bella_

_An Innocent Touch by LilyAurora Paul/Bella_

_Circumvention by wanderinginmoonlight Sam/Bella_

_and_

_Just A Fool by feebes86. A Sam/Leah one shot that Feebes wrote for me for a Tricky Raven challenge. She absolutely nailed it, but I am greedy and want more. Please read and let her know you want more too. Hugs, Reign_


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